Interview with the President

“Mr. President, I thank you for allowing me this interview. I hope that it can help the public get the answers they long for and give you a chance to redeem many of your past public speaking incidents.”

“People don’t need to worry about security. We wouldn’t choose what we do if we didn’t care about the security of the United States of America.”

“Uh, didn’t you say something like that in a speech before?”

“It’s a myth to think that I don’t know what’s going on. I have been following the news very carefully and am always informed by what others say. I care about the people very much and want to make this place better.”

“Right, moving on. Please Mr. President, let’s do an interview without reading notes.”

“You were impressed with my reading skills though, right?”

“Yes Mr. President. They were very good.”

“You teach a child to read and it will be good and smart.”

“That’s… interesting. First question. What is the next step in dealing with the terrorists?”

“Terrorists bring terror. They provoke terror. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be terrorists. They’re terrific people. Terrorists are bad. They‘re terror and terrorize what should be a terror-free world.”

“Was there an answer in there?”

“I don’t need to explain myself anymore than I already have on these matters. I’m the president. I preside over things. I do not question over things or answer over things.”

“Have you been following the polls lately about how the world perceives you?”

“I have heard rumors on the Internets that I am not well liked by some. I do not believe them to be true. The Internets is full of lies, like that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and Star Jones‘ marriage is real.”

“Those are very interesting rumors that you have heard. And do you know where the rumor about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction started?”

“The weapons of mass destruction started in a bad nation, because the good nations, the free nations, don’t have weapons of mass destruction.”

“If this is true, then how come America was the first to develop nuclear bombs, one of four types of weapons of mass destruction?”

“We may talk about war, but we’re really talking about peace. We’re talking about humanity, about goodness. We won’t stop thinking about the ways our people can be hurt! We won‘t give up so easily.”

“Well, that was an interesting interview, Mr. President. I thank you for your time.”

“Wow, the money you paid me with reminds me of the stuff from Monopoly. I love that game. I’m glad the government decided to change the look of our current currency. It just didn’t seem democratic being all green.”

“Right. Well, that’s all for now. Join me next time when I interview…”

“Do you want to play Monopoly?”

“What? Uh, sure Mr. President, if that is what you would like.”

“Yay! I want to be the shot glass.”

“That’s a thimble.”



Written for:

ID: 941862   (Rated: 18+) The Dialogue 500: IT'S BACK, BABY!  Stories 500 words or less, written only in dialogue. New prompt for May 2012! by ~j