The Telemarketer

The Telemarketer
By Doris Meakim

         Right in the middle of Jeopardy, the phone rang. It was not anyone who knew me, I was sure of that. I do not usually answer the phone during Jeopardy!

         But this was Celebrity Jeopardy! and therefore not my favorite so I picked up the receiver. "Hello."

         "I'm calling to tell you about our new program which can save you money ~ "

         A telemarketer. I might have known. My first thought was to hang up but I decided to have a little fun with her. So I said, "Hold it just one minute, you're a space alien aren't you?"

         "I beg your pardon?"

         "I can always tell. I was abducted you know, but of course you know, you're one of them."

         "I don't think I ~~ "

         "I've been expecting to hear from you. I think my implant needs a new battery. Some of the transmissions are breaking up. Especially in the early morning."

         "Implant?"

         "Yes! I realize it's one of the older models."

"Who told you about the implant?"

         "Nobody had to tell me about it. I've known about it from the beginning."

         "This could be serious."

         "Why? Was it supposed to have been a secret?"

         "It certainly was! If you know about it then all the data is contaminated. That's several years of work wasted. Someone will be coming to remove it."

         "To remove it?"

         "Of course. You can't be of any use to us this way."
`
         "I won't tell anybody! You don't have to kill me or anything."

         "Kill you? Of course not! You can tell anybody you like. Who would believe you?"

A moment later two silvery beings materialized in my living room. "This will take only five of your minutes," said one. The other touched my arm with a small object it carried.

         When I woke up they were gone. Now I don't know what to think.