What Will Never Be

comprehension eludes, leaving me in pain
understanding lost in moments of anger
realizing my expectations were not within your grasp
too high to obtain we were doomed from the start
i can not take back what i did nor
sadly can i forgive you for your actions
calmly i try to face each day raising our children
under the impressions of mixed emotions
ranting on the inside that you hurt them
telling them nothing of betrayals and wrong doings
instilling both our cultures, trying to love like two
smiling, internally raging, i go through each day
changes made daily with doubts and many regrets
underlined with pain as thoughts attempt to hold me down
running forward to the best of my ability
together with my kids it has became a slow upward pace
inside dying with each step that we take alone
slowly accepting my hopes, dreams and expectations will never be

tammy
4/17/06