when all is said and done

rambling on and on
the hundred-car freight trains
of my childhood
endless souvenirs of counting
recounting and accounting
         "you missed the green and blue one"
         "children, stop arguing"
the car, stuck behind the gates
parental impatience, "late again, stupid trains!"
we loved them

all of this filters back
as I wait patiently for her to stop and breathe
or slow down a tad
the unconversational phone glued to my ear
mother patiently chattering to herself
reveling in all the irrelevant details
         of catlike activity, late mailmen, outrageous carpet cleaning prices
         or grocery prices, hard to get a good apple any more
I add a polite "oh yes, how right" change ears, she continues
does she wonder if I listen?
         you never come to visit, the new neighbor, so thoughtful,
         brings chocolate banana bread, candles in case of a storm
         it's already too hot, only june, the air conditioner needs fixing
rambling on and on
incessant images I choose not to count
roaring like the ancient machine blowing hot air
when it should be cool and refreshing

then, when all is said and done
thanks for calling dear, simple click

yes, I'm fine, mom thanks for asking

sometimes there were over a hundred cars
my best record was one-seventeen
lasted half an hour
the tracks were old
right outside the back yard elm tree
when the gates went up
impatiently studying the timetable
next one in two hours thirty minutes





         when all is said and done
         19 april, 2006