Love on Standby

He waits and I muse. I wonder, what will tomorrow be like. I ask myself, in the morning, will I wake up free from the inner workings of this dark and gloomy dungeon? I ask myself will the fear, dread, and gloom be gone? Will my jaded body be once again filled with the spirit of life or will it continue to feel the emptiness of not having you to love? I need to love. I need to love me. I need to love you and I need for you to love me. There's negative activity going on inside of me. Someone or something keeps putting up a fight to what is right and to light. It keeps me from being me. I want to be free to love you and to love me. I want to be with you. I want to feel your warm embrace - to hear your powerful words of love and to see your handsome face.

He never utters any discouraging words to me. He only waits. He has told me how he feels, which makes being this way bearable. I don't have to second guess his love for me and that helps me to bear the negative activity inside, so I continue to muse and he continues to wait, but I must admitt, sometimes the waiting causes me to doubt his love. I wonder if he'll wait forever or if I'll loose him tomorrow, but then a revelation always comes assuring me that I have nothing to worry about - his love is real and it's mine forever.

He's waiting and on standby - ready to start love as soon as my shackles come off and I'm released from this dungeon. He wants to start now, but the chains of fear, dread, and gloom tighten at the thought of this. I become so fearful at how I look that I give him one reason after another why he has to wait. Maybe it's better this way, who knows. If I had my way, I would let him start love now, but I'm not strong enough to be in a relationship with him atleast not yet. I want to, but now is not the time. It has to be right. I must be able to love him in the right way because he's worth it. He's my love, my breath, and my pooh.

Screamings go on inside of me.Screams of a person wanting to be free to love, to love me, and to love you. I want to be free, so that I can be held by him, kissed by him, and loved by him. Through revelations, intuition and the senses, I have felt his love, his kiss, and his manly embrace, but I'm still chained up here. Why oh why does it have to be this way? I believe that these chains will fall off one day, and when they do, my love and I will be together. We'll be one heart, one mind, and one flesh. My love is on standby waiting to start love and we will wait together, we will hope together, and together we will win!