The Flood

John sat under the elm tree in his backyard and sketched in his notebook. It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky.

John was a carpenter. He enjoyed sketching ideas before trying to build them. Today, he was working on an idea for the boat he had always dreamed of owning. He had never built a boat before, but he didn't think it would be any harder than building a house.

The wind began to pick up and he felt a few sprinkles of rain.

"Shit, I'd better get inside before my sketch is ruined."

"John."

He looked around. "Who said that?"

"You have to build your boat right away, John." It was a male voice, but not one that sounded familiar. He glanced around again, but saw no one.

"Who's there?"

"It's God, John. There's going to be a flood. You need to build your boat."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No joke, John. I know I promised that I'd never flood the world again, but frankly, you people have been nothing but a disappointment."

"Ok, I give. Who are you? Where are you hiding?"

"It's not a joke. You're the only one I'm going to save. Go find a woman of child-bearing age and gather as many pairs of animals as you can. You only have three days."

John laughed. "I must be losing my mind."

John went back inside and turned on the television. His favorite show had just come on and he soon forgot all about the strange voice.

After the show, he got up to go to the bathroom.
Glancing out the window, he saw that it was pouring rain and extremely windy. He didn't worry too much, though. He had emergency supplies.

Once he'd relieved himself, he sat back down in front of the t.v. and turned on The Weather Channel. The local forecast was just coming on.

"Residents of Winona County are under a flash flood warning until ten o'clock," the weatherman stated. "You are advised to move to higher ground."

"Yeah, right. I've heard that one before. The levee is plenty high enough." John had a habit of talking to himself. He lived alone, so he was entitled to some eccentricities.

He remembered the voice in the yard and began to worry. What if that really had been God? He didn't really believe in God, but that didn't mean he didn't exist. He shook his head.

"You're being silly," he admonished himself. "There's no God and, even if there was, he wouldn't choose to save you. He'd pick some holy type."

John dozed off on the sofa. When he woke, the power was out and he could hear the rain battering his windows. The wind was shaking the entire house. He got up and found the candles and matches and put a few on the coffee table and lit them.

Then, he turned on his portable radio and tuned it to the local country station.

"Tomorrow's another day...and I'm thirsty anyway...so bring on the rain," Jo Dee Messina was singing.

When the song finished, the deejay came on with the weather report, "The rain is expected to last well through the night and into the morning. Winona is still under a flash flood warning."

"Well, if that was God...I have three days," John reasoned. "So nothing will happen today."

He laughed at himself. What was he thinking? He didn't believe in God, but was willing to believe that he was safe for three days.

Three days passed without incident. It rained heavily, but there was no major flooding in the area. John had forgotten all about the strange voice and was once again sitting out in the yard, sketching.

"John."

"Oh, you again. You were wrong. We didn't get a major flood."

"I'm sorry, I deceived you. I'm not really God, of course."

"No shit. So, who are you?"

A tiny little man in a green tuxedo popped out from behind the tree and bowed to John.

"I'm Sonny, I'm a leprechaun. I just wanted you to build the boat so I could talk you into taking me back to Ireland. I've been stuck here in the United States for over a hundred years."

"How did you get stuck here?"

"Leprechauns are allowed to grant wishes, but if we grant a wish, we have to stay with the wisher until they no longer need us. I followed her here. I begged her to wish me back home, but she was selfish and greedy. Then, she died. No one wants to give up wishes to send me back home. So I'm stuck."

"Why didn't you just say so? I don't really need anything. I'd be happy to wish you home."

Sonny's eyes filled with tears of gratitude. "Really?"

"Sure! After you give me my boat. I wish I had the best boat in the world."

A beautiful yacht appeared in the middle of the yard.

"Wow! I wish I had a million dollars."

A huge bag of money appeared before him.

"Will you wish me home now, please?" the leprechaun begged.

John looked at him for a second without speaking.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that. What if I end up needing another wish?"

The leprechaun's face fell. It always happened this way. He wasn't supposed to use his magic unless a human wished for something, but he didn't care anymore. He'd teach this asshole. He'd teach them all. He looked up at the sky and spoke in a language that John didn't recognize.

The sky darkened. Rain began to fall. The wind whipped through the trees bending them and breaking the weaker ones.

The river, finally, overflowed it's banks. Within less than an hour the entire town was under water.

The leprechaun took John's new yacht and set sail for home.



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