The Uncertainty of Uncertainty

How can I live knowing that I will make you cry?
Paranoia is what drives my aching mind.
I was there but in spirit only.
All I wanted was to make you so very happy.
I needed you, but, I couldn't figure out why.
So much strain between my heart and my mind.
Tormented by thoughts of doubt and insecurities,
baby I'm so sorry, but, I do love you and I will for eternity.

I was so afraid that you would have left.
I don't think I'm good enough for anyone including myself.
I hate the reflection of what I see.
The mirror cracks when my pain is staring back at me.
All I need is a break from my mentality
then I can show you just how I really feel for thee.
I hate not knowing what the future lies ahead.
I guess that's why I'm alone and contemplate death.
The uncertainty of uncertainty is what I dread.
Nothing seems good enough and thats what
it comes down to in the end.
I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else,
so to hell with life and to hell... with love.
So be it.