That's All Right

That's All Right

Through life, you always told me
that's all right, it'll be okay . . .
and I listened to your words,
I felt them, I saw them, I breathed them,
they were like the building blocks
of a young child's hope, a hope
that maybe one day
there would be no more
tears to choke on.

Through moving from place to place
and listening to the screaming
from behind locked doors
you always said,
That's all right, It'll be okay . . .
and I listened, like always
I drew upon your words
keeping them safely tucked
in my back pocket.
Those words were always there.

Life's wagon tilted, throwing me
into a pile of regrets
that clung to my soul
like the morning dew . . .
they never left,
and when I tried to tell you
when I tried to cry for help
you silenced me with those words;
That's all right, it'll be okay.

Tell me, do you really believe in what you say?
Does the truth hide behind those words,
or is it something less human,
something not right
that peaks out from
the folds of language,
you wouldn't tell me if you knew . . .
is it because you can't stand to say it outloud
or because you've gotten lost
in fate's smile?

So now, I've made my own choice,
to no longer listen to those words
that you whispered to me all my life,
for I can't see the truth in false hope,
I can't see the light behind dark's sketches
and I can't see your love
when I'm choking on tears,
gasping for air
between the shakes,
between the hate and anger
that wrack me of my strength,
so strong, so worthless.

I want you to know that it's not all right,
that life is not okay
and that your words
are no more than a corpse's whisper
fading among the wind's sigh.
You're lost to me
and I'm lost to you . . .

That's not all right.