I Remember Myself (a Monchielle)

I REMEMBER MYSELF


I remember myself
as a wild, ugly child,
pudgy, clumsy, but smart,
crouched at the library,
filed, waiting to start.


I remember myself,
these pictures say I lie.
Look sharp at nine, ten, twelve,
peach-skinned, wide-hipped, fresh-eyed,
why, prettiness itself!


I remember myself,
there's no mystery here.
Darkness behind those eyes
hiding shame, fear, and rage.
Too old, too hurt, too wise.


I remember myself.
I will reclaim this child.
Today, I start again,
create a new story,
find beauty in the pain.


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