Thoughts of Suicide

Thoughts of Suicide or hope for a better day
there is a 50/50 chance that one of them will come my way
Dreams of happiness, mirage or insanity?
there is a 50/50 chance its one of these- dreams don't come true for me

Nightmares are reality ,or so the prove to be
because lately only evil seems to grab hold of me
I'm trying to do better- get my life out the gutter
But life's got the best of me- how can I do better

Seems like all I've know is pain
and to be honest this bullshit is driving me insane
Life is confusing- its hard for me to understand
why do I keep experiencing hurt- if I am such a humble man
but pain only strengthens me- you can hear it in my words
and soon it will go away, like a flock of scattering birds.