Ambushed and Bum Rushed

Dear Marcia,

I'm dazed and confused. My head is spinning and I still can't believe this morning's drama. Please share my experience with other caregivers. I don't want them to go through the same mess I went through today.

Queen Mom is one of the best clients I've ever had. She's so sweet. I can't help myself when it comes to pampering and caring for her. My heart aches because she's an end stage renal failure patient that requires hemodialysis 3 times a week. And she's a diabetic but despite her challenges, Queen Mom is a brave fighter. And she isn't mean or bitter either. She's a lot of fun and a living doll. However her dogs are a of couple mangy, scheming, mischievous muts. Wally and Lulu worked my last nerve when they pulled the ambushed and burm rushed stunt of the year.

I bring breakfast to Queen Mom every morning. And yes Marcia, I give her whatever she wants. I can hear you right now. "Elaine you know Queen Mom is not supposed to eat anything that isn't on her prescribed diet". Well girlfriend, I beg to differ. Queen Mom has earned the right to have what she wants. She's nearly 80 years old. She's living on borrowed time and I want to make her happy. Wally and Lulu think they should be pampered and catered too. But after this morning's stunt, I think they should be locked in a jail kennel for life.

I opened Queen Mom's wooden gate to go to her guest house. Well as soon as I opened the darn thing Wally and LuLu appeared out of nowhere and knocked me down. They took off running like a couple of bats out of hell. I was furious because the cup of hot coffee in my hand burned me like hell too. Marcia sausage, biscuits and eggs flew everywhere. And so did I. Can you picture me sprawled on the concrete? I screamed my head off. Queen Mom's daughter Bonnie heard all of the commotion and came to my rescue. Then she went after the devilish duo. Wally and LuLu deserved what happened next.

Crazy old LuLu thought it would be fun to dig up Mr. Williams front lawn. Now I know why Bonnie named her LuLu. That dog really is lulu. Mr. Williams' gardener had just laid down 2 or 3 bags of fertilizer and LuLu thought it would be fun to roll around and wallow in that bunch of BS. Of course Wally had the same idea too. I hate to see anyone going through some BS in their lives but those two little fur balls deserved every clump of that stinking waste. Bonnie went ballistic when she found those scroundrels. Marcia, she screamed, hollered and cussed Wally and LuLu out. Her potty mouth was more putrid than the fertilizer but I understand why.

Bonnie cleaned those dogs for 2 hours. She used pet stain remover and a shampoo named Stinky Be Gone. That was so ironic because the more she cleaned the dogs, the dirtier her mouth became. I'm not going to repeat what she said because I wouldn't hold in my hand what came out of her mouth. But I couldn't blame her because those dogs stunk clear up to heaven. Yicky, icky, sticky. I almost felt sorry for Wally and LuLu. Please notice that I said I almost felt sorry. The bump on the back of my head, my burned hand and wasted money on breakfast that was strewned all over the ground stopped any compassionate feelings for that pukulating pair of trouble making canines.

I was outdone. Both of the dogs hid behind a corner of the wooden gate because they knew the slats were wide and tall. It's too hard to see anything behind the fence. So those two laid in wait for me. They made a fool out of me. But it won't happen again. Well I've ranted and raved enough girlfriend. Take care of yourself and your cute little fur-persons, Olivia and Lucy. Too bad they can't teach Wally and LuLu how to behave. Give everyone my love and I will talk to you later.

Sisterfriends Forever,
Elaine