Reviews for "All I Really Want"

Review By: Starrchild (27)
Date and Time: 07-13-06 @ 3:11pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 127 Characters
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Wow... great work! I love the sentiments behind this poem...

Keep up the great work!

Starrchild~


#2. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: babygurl (1)
Date and Time: 07-11-06 @ 2:43am
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 478 Characters
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I am new to WDC, so forgive me if I sound stupid. First of all, I loved this poem. I've wondered about all of those things myself, and this poem hit home for me.

I hope the part about wanting to die at the end was just a passing phase, as I have also felt that way before, but it soon passed. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I love your writing and can relate.

By the way, have you ever been published? If not, you should have been.


#3. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: podtastic (2)
Date and Time: 07-10-06 @ 6:41pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 513 Characters
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dude, this is so me. so i give you full points! it flows very well. even though your verses aren't all the same length, one doesn't even notice. you have a good rhythm. i think you can make the last line even more punchy if you want. the only problem i see is the repetition of "death" in the first line of the last verse... maybe find a synonym? good luck at any rate! i hope you feel better, because i'm sure you also appreciate the days when things go right and life makes you wonder because it IS beautiful...

#4. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Susan-offline u... (37)
Date and Time: 07-10-06 @ 6:26pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 308 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Well, if we continue to grow as writers the more we write, then wonderful things will sprout from your pen. This is a wonderful poem. The meter works. The words work. Even adding to the number of sentences in the last two stanzas works. Excellent job. Love the imagry.

Write On!
--Susan


#5. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Virginia Liz (1)
Date and Time: 05-11-06 @ 1:52pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 195 Characters
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Describing these kinds of feelings doesn't get any more perfect than this. I remember them well (still have them sometimes. You put them out there loud and clear.
Brilliant
V. Liz


#6. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Rachhope (1)
Date and Time: 05-10-06 @ 7:45pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 286 Characters
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This was heartwrentching and beautiful. It was honestly written and the words were just great! I enjoyed reading all the way through. It made me feel sorry for the character. Especially on the All I want to do's. I think it is a great poem and it could lead to great things! Great Job!


#7. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Misty Fields (10)
Date and Time: 05-10-06 @ 4:29am
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 313 Characters
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Mad man you think too much!!
This was a seriously good poem that captured an enormous quantity of moods as well as creating a lot to think about. It made me laugh, it made me think but it also had a serious undertone.
Well done!!

Your friend
Misty Fields
~~Image #1080243 Sharing Restricted~~


#8. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: DOT (15)
Date and Time: 05-01-06 @ 6:39am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 319 Characters
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The words to a song playing in the background as I am reading "You can't always get what you want", seems to say in counterpoint that in this universe where entropy rules the random plateaus of order are few and far between. None appreciate how very close to nonexistence that they really are.
Keep Thinking.


#9. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: amaiyaamir (18)
Date and Time: 04-13-06 @ 11:13pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 130 Characters
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Wow! That was powerful. Two years has past since then ... do you still feel the same way? Great writing, as mad as you want to be.


#10. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Zidane (3)
Date and Time: 03-31-06 @ 4:36pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 293 Characters
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This is truly an honest poem and a good one at that. I like the way you simply ignored any traces of ryhme or any other such stuff, since this poem seems to be meant more as a conversation between yourself and whoever reads it. It works in that aspect and i admire the reality in it. Write on!


#11. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Grieve Not (2)
Date and Time: 03-29-06 @ 10:30am
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 508 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Your poem is so beautiful, so sad, so exquisite, so personal ... that it made me cry when I first read it. You said the things that many of us want to say; your wants are those things that most of us want at one time or other in our lives.

There are elements of wishfulness and regret and wisdom and hopelessness here. This poem is EVERYMAN'S poem, I think.

Thank you for sharing this outstanding work.


Toni







#12. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: eboni (7)
Date and Time: 03-22-06 @ 12:36pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 413 Characters
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wow!
this is amazing, im not surprised 211 ppl have read and rated it.
i loved reading this! very introspective and very easy to understand where you are coming from, i think these things people think about and wonder all the time but try not to let themselves get caught up in it all. this is fabulous, i loved reading it.

ive put this on my faves too, just wanted you to know


#13. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: andi (1)
Date and Time: 02-20-06 @ 9:03pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 391 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hey there MadMan at Large,
This was fantastic. I was about to enter the IM and saw your entry. You seemed so sorry about the comment that I needed to see who you were. WOW! The poem got to me. A friend of mine actually committed suicide and your poem touched me. I will remember it at his service this week. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.
your writing buddy, andi


#14. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: dbutler1986 (1)
Date and Time: 01-12-06 @ 9:42pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 222 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I have never read anything that expresses what I feel as much as this does. It's like a mirror image of myself wrote it. I don't know if its exactly comforting, but at least I know its possible for someone to understand.


#15. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: LOTUSNEKO Over ... (35)
Date and Time: 01-11-06 @ 5:22pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (2.0)
Review Length: 1,203 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Dear MadMan at Large,

I loved your poem . . . until the last line. But I will say the good stuff first.

I thought this was a beautiful, rambling yet pointed, gentle rant about questions and desires that many have. I love the words and can relate to most of what you wrote. I think most people can - that is the beauty of what you wrote. There is nothing I would change, except:

I just have no patience or sympathy for expressions of wishing for death. Suicide is incredibly selfish. Re-reading the poem, I was upset to realize that the note you wrote about, and being sorry for hurting someone, was probably about a suicide note. There are too many people who wanted to live, but they died. Healthy, young people take their lives for no good reason. I think the idea of being able to be happy after you die, and finally have control of your life is absolutely ludicrous. If life is just "a pile of s***," and you are not sure if you are even here at all, then you really don't know what life is about. There are people out there a lot worse off than many of those who committ suicide.

Sincerely,
LOTUSNEKO



#16. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Scribbler (1)
Date and Time: 12-20-05 @ 4:49pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (2.0)
Review Length: 438 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a cool format for a poem. I like some of the images and lines, like "stealing grapes from Safeway." I've always wondered what it would be like to be completely dishonest. But I just think it has too much angst. Thats my main critique. I like how you are so honest in talking about wondering what its like to be bad, cuz everyone does in there inner thoughts. But theres just too much death, pain, and sorrow if you no what I mean.


#17. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Shara(Thanks RA... (26)
Date and Time: 12-20-05 @ 6:34am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 382 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I believe that one of the earlier reviews that someone submitted was very true.. Obnoxious it might sound but your poem cud actually inspire one to become either suicidal or homicidal...
So many queries
All unanswered..
Hey the poem is beautiful and truely sometimes we need to think so..
Keep writing

ID: 1047790 (Rated: 13+)
Title: My Collection OF Poems
Description: A REFLECTION of the Small Poetess in me.. My collection from STD. IX
By: Shara(Thanks RAOK 4 Upgrade) (26)



#18. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Riss (2)
Date and Time: 12-19-05 @ 8:41pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 159 Characters
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Beautiful ! I often find myself thinking on such things. I most enjoy how this poem sums it all up so lovely and leaves you with something to chew on


#19. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: gramgmc (2)
Date and Time: 12-18-05 @ 9:15pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (2.5)
Review Length: 467 Characters
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you're a selfish, egotistic, suicidal idiot whos' thoughts poison the minds of evolving and immature youth. if just one reader ends their exsistence in this world because of your self-absorbed ignorance you should be charge with murder. if you think for one minute that what you wrote is worthy of some sort of prize, your prize will be a cell with a guy named 'buba'. god forbid anyone with half a notion of killing themselves reads your 'epic'.
that's all,


#20. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Thea (15)
Date and Time: 12-08-05 @ 9:35am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 516 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem seems to touch on the many 'angst' laden issues humanity seems to confront somewhere in a lifetime of "really want".

I notice that the first grouping of stanzas are four lines and then shifts in the last two, as if there is just too much that wants to come to expression and can't be contained anymore within the four lines.

The sentiments take me back to my own journey and the discovery that what I most want is the freedom "to unearth my most uncommon self". Thea


#21. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mandik~Freelanc... (42)
Date and Time: 12-01-05 @ 3:17pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 364 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very deep

So many questions, so little time. Some many answers, but does anyone ever really listen and learn?

I really liked the honestly pored out here.

Reading it, I found the flow to be comfortable and fluid; almost relaxing- until the Cause all I want part.

Great writing, keep it up!


#22. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Herself (9)
Date and Time: 12-01-05 @ 8:30am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 321 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is such a good poem. You were correct in your description of it-- it's very honest, and there's a lot of feeling behind it. I usually don't like poems that don't rhyme, but I think that this style works really well and I didn't get bored with it at all. Very well-written!!

Write on!
Herself


#23. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: LadyEarnshaw (11)
Date and Time: 11-23-05 @ 12:24pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 303 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Excellent ! Takes me back to my troubled teenage years....Never mind how long ago that was...Heh...Those deep , dark thoughts haven't left me , though....Still lurking....I need an outlet...a place to vent...A place to belong...Writing does that for me...and I'm glad I'm not the only one. Keep writing.


#24. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SliceableKitty (3)
Date and Time: 10-31-05 @ 3:14pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 290 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I love it. This is an excellent piece.

I'm a big fan of the pace you use throughout the piece - its really effective from a mental standpoint. It really puts the reader "right there."

I'm going to check out your other works. I'm glad I found this one.


#25. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Silently Seven (12)
Date and Time: 10-18-05 @ 7:23pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 602 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is lovely. You know I have wondered some of the same things:I guess we all have.

Sometimes I think about murder, and suicide,
And stealing grapes from Safeway,
And I wonder if that makes me a freak, or weird,
‘Cause all I really want is to be different.

This is my favorite part. Not because I like how it sounds but because sometimes I'm too afraid to write things like this myself. If you ever get what you want, or find out about all those questions that are jumbled up in this piece please do let me know. I'd love some clarification.

#26. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: jlofritts (1)
Date and Time: 10-10-05 @ 6:43am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 17 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

this is awesome.


#27. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: spydergirl (26)
Date and Time: 10-06-05 @ 9:18pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 300 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Great poem-I know you didn't write this for Halloween, but it fits the time of year. It haunts as you read it-sort of pulls you in. Not many things can grab a hold of a reader and make them feel that way. I can't wait to read more of your portfolio. Keep up the great work!

Leigh


#28. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sykes (1)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 8:35pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 347 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hey there, I jsut read through this poem, and I must say, very well done, I can feel the honesty. I sounds like you threw all your personal feelings onto the paper, and for me, at least, it worked. I liked it.
For me to be honest, I have thought about the same things.

I think everyone has, thanks for getting it out there


#29. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Agnie (35)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 6:28pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 2,194 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hi, MadMan at Large (37) !

I came across this poem by coincidence, or rather because of its very strong title! I noticed the sponsored link on top of the page and I couldn't help myself - I had to click! The title is effective, definitely

I enjoyed reading this poem. Even without reading the description line that says this is "probably the most honest thing you'll ever write", I can see this honesty in your stanzas. I myself believe in honesty as the most important thing in poetry - and I don't mean one should write only about himself and his own feelings, but pretending to be someone else for the sake of following what might be appreciated by others will in most cases make the poem sound fake. There is nothing that would seem fake about yours.

I really like the fact that you decided not to use rhymes. I can't recall reading any other poems by you so I am not comparing this to your other (possibly rhymed - ?) poems, I just mean that this style really suits the mood of this poem. Rhymes would take the reader's attention away from what you're saying.

Personally, I can see only one thing that I could describe as a "fault" in this poem. I feel that the structure of the stanza starts to seem a little monotonous somewhere in the middle of the poem. This is a long poem, and perhaps it would be good to make the structure just a little more varied in some way? You kind of did it in the last two stanzas by making it longer, but I'm not sure if it's enough, and I feel that the fact that the last line always follows the same pattern weakens the impact of the last stanza. The last line especially could be much stronger. Perhaps breaking some line in one of the earlier stanzas into two shorter ones or varying the punctuation - I'm just trying to give examples, I don't want to suggest that you do one of these things if the poem feels right to you as it is.

This is absolutely the only aspect where I feel there could be room for improvement. Otherwise, the poem is fine to me. Very good, emotional writing, and very honest.

Good work. I'm glad I found it!

Agnie


#30. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: MidnightDawnGre... (55)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 6:21pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 540 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

How did I miss this one before? I feel I am the only one on Writing.com who has not reviewed this. 196 views? I do have to say I am glad I caught your plug. This is a very moving piece, it really shows the inner workings of a writer's mind, I think. The odd thoughts that generate odd ideas and make writer's different from the run of the mill folks out there.

The end though is a bit worrisome, and I hope you don't really feel that way. But it is a very powerful close to an excellent poem!

Write on!


#31. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: jaren (87)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 6:19pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 561 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I give this a 5 because I wouldn't change anything. I think about all those things... and there was a time that all I wanted to do was die. But, then I found light and learned how to laugh again, and here I am and all I want to do is live...

Perhaps I should write a companion piece for this one. LOL Nah, that's your job.

Great, moving poem that led me from the seemingly inane to the deeply profound. I love it when a poem takes me on a journey! Great job.

BTW. returning your reward points.


#32. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: fabumisskbw (1)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 6:10pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 250 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

When I read the poem I see the speaker standing on a cliff ready to jump off but not really wanting to do it because their has to be another way to achieve peace. This is a good example of how most of us feel but feel will admit. Your courage rocks.


#33. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: bediane1954 (23)
Date and Time: 10-04-05 @ 5:39pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 583 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Oh, please don't feel like I do. I was hoping there was no one on this earth that felt the misery that I sometimes feel. Are you young? When I see the part about what the people are saying it makes me want to go to those people and say, "don't you see his soul is hurting?" It is yearning for so much more if you don't have it to give quit wasting his time. If you do have even a touch of what he yearns give it to him. I feel so sorry for my husband and son. They fight trying to get others approval. You'll get it soon. Peace comes. I promise.
Love,
Diane


#34. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Puditat (81)
Date and Time: 09-30-05 @ 5:36pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 743 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

A review by Puditat (81)


My Reaction

This is sad, dark, poignant, heart-plucking and yearning. This made me feel so many emotions.

The format suits this beautifully. The repetition adds to the whimsical, searching feel and the sincerity of the piece.

I enjoyed reading this, even though it is quite depressing in aspect.

I particularly like the verse about the black holes and yellow lines. It captures a sense of science versus the casual. The blend of imagery is enticing.


Write on!




#35. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: raraa.Jordan mo... (6)
Date and Time: 09-21-05 @ 8:29pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 599 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I rarely give 5.0s and yours deserved it, I wonder about most of those things and you put it beautifully. I also think that most of those are what most of people want, I am a pilot because I wanted to fly and I have a ver long goatie just cause I wanna be different, I have alot of things to change and wish for almost everything.

You expressed it in a way making people able to realte and thats the poetry I like most.

Amazing, Good Job

peace, out
"Why I defend Jordan" by raraa.Jordan mourns its dead (6)

** #971407 Not An Image **


#36. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: AutumnWytch is ... (25)
Date and Time: 09-17-05 @ 11:21pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 540 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow! This is great stuff!!! These are things that most, if not all, of us wonder, worry and fret about! I really relate to:

"Sometimes I think about fate, and destiny,
And predetermination, and piles of s***,
And I wonder if it isn’t all the same thing,
‘Cause all I really want is to control my own life."

You put forth, most eloquently and with a bit of punch, I might add, things I have been wondering myself!!!

Well done, indeed!

~~Liz



#37. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Butterfly (1)
Date and Time: 09-17-05 @ 9:57pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 479 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Excellant! This piece you have written takes the reader on a journey through all our thoughts and feelings. Being a teenager, who has attempted suicide and used to cut, I can really relate to this. You say all you want to do is be differant. We are all different, some just don't realize it. You are a writer, that should make you different enough. You use your thoughts for something.
Anyways, this is a really great piece! My fav, out of everything I have read so far!


#38. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Basilides (10)
Date and Time: 09-17-05 @ 8:41pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 1,941 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I enjoyed these lines because it reminds me of thoughts I've had as well. I think this is one of the most critical parts of good poetry: it reminds you of something important.

In this case, Madman, you have succeeded in reminding me of the most important issues...right and wrong, mortality, significance, the fact that we somehow grasp how humans ought to behave yet somehow can't measure up (we have regrets), whether there is any security in comunication after all, destiny and free will, the seeming contradiction between the concept of [i]eternity[/i] and the concept of [i]beginnings[/i], the incongruity of a mind with true insight and those insights coming from purely natural causes - a brain and the movement of atoms in it, and finally the most pressing and vexing mystery of all: [i]What then?[/i]

You have captured the human dilemma, and I admire you and your work here. Most people accept the answers (even, by accident true answers from time to time) without bothering to understand the questions first. You understand the questions.

I wonder if you realize the ingenious progression of wisdom in each stanza. The progression shows that the clues to the answers are contained in the questions. You begin with humanity, then move to nature, then to the nature of your past, then to the the effect of human imperfection and nature and the past to another living soul, then outward to the consequences of freedom (or lack thereof), further outward to the universe itself, then finally to meaning. And in questioning meaning you use the mind as your subject.

It is not a poem of despair to me. It is like the feeling of an unborn child before the first sight of white light and the first searing breath of cold air...anguish and pain, but with unimaginable realization just ahead.

Thank you for this offering.

~Basilides


#39. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: YBNORMAL2 (2)
Date and Time: 09-17-05 @ 4:17am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 308 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hi,
I liked this, funny how sometimes everything and nothing runs around in our heads.

I liked the way the first couple of lines you talk about what you think about followed by the what and why.
I think it is good to be different it shows more creativity.




#40. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: XF (1)
Date and Time: 09-16-05 @ 10:36pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 460 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Morbid ending but nonetheless, quite good. I like how you put it all together in the end. The message speaks to me. It reminded me of the things I sometimes dream of doing with my own life, my hopes and wishes and how I just sometimes want to lay back and rest and think. I won't go into the technical critique because I won't really know how. I only like poetry when it speaks to me or tells a story and I liked yous for that. Thank you for a good read.


#41. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: irishwriter (1)
Date and Time: 09-16-05 @ 9:03pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 470 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Your poem really made me think - about what all I really want is. My guess is that you are male and under 25 years. "Sometimes I think...Cause all I really want is" would be a great prompt for a poetry writing contest. (I may write one myself.) You might try tucking this away for twenty years or so and then using the format to write it again! I would love to see that one too. One of the best uses of repitition I've seen in a long while! Thanks. Irishwriter:)


#42. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: DarkStarr* (56)
Date and Time: 09-15-05 @ 7:09pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 245 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This really is a great poem; can see why it got an award and so many favorable reviews. My favorite is the first stanza. I think the whole poem represents the winding and twisted way a mind can ramble.
*applause!*

Starr*


#43. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ncblondie-baby ... (22)
Date and Time: 09-15-05 @ 9:59am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 763 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

My thoughts:
This poem is sad, yet also somewhat hopeful. It's easy to feel your yearning for something through your words. The repetition of sometimes I think and 'cause all I really want accents your words, making them stronger.

Personal notes:
I normally don't care for dark poetry, but in your case, I found myself liking this poem.

Suggestions:
The next to last stanza seems awkward. In the rest of the poem, except the last line, you have four line stanzas. The sudden switch to eight interferes with the flow.

Overall thoughts:
Well done. I enjoyed reading this poem. Write on!




#44. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sol (6)
Date and Time: 09-02-05 @ 4:59am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 632 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I think, this is just, perfect.

The first stanza is so attention grabbing in the way it is so real.. (well, to me anyway). At times I wish to laugh because of the random humour, but then I refrain as I see it is far from ever being funny. I can really relate to your piece (obviously only to a certain degree as it is obviously extremely personal to you, but I can relate to where it is you're coming from)

Thanks for sharing, I think it's quality! Oh and just FYI... Safeway has now become Morrisons all over England, but that's completely irrelevant!

Cheers

Sol


#45. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Bet Raise or Moo (101)
Date and Time: 08-11-05 @ 6:16am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 480 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I really see how much you've turned and twisted yourself to write this poem. One moment you lay it on the line and the next you are trying to cover up your exposed parts. No matter how you slice it this is a truthful poem, a little truth for all of us.

Thans for sharing this poem with all of us.

I'm sending you your gift points back because I didn't review this poem for the GP's but to get to know someone who I will meet in about 2 weeks.


#46. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Isiliel - Help ... (22)
Date and Time: 07-29-05 @ 7:40am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 345 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Dear Madman,

This is one of the best things I have ever read in my entire life!
It has sense of innocence and at the same time it can apply to everybody!
When the reader reaches the last line, it feels like a punch in the stomach!

Well done!
With respect and admiration,
Dimitra


#47. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Solitary Man (23)
Date and Time: 07-13-05 @ 6:12pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 396 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

First as always I have to say that I am not the biggest fan of poetry. Second, the first most beautiful thing I have ever seen that touched my heart and made me want to cry was my first girlfriend naked. Third, the second thing was this poem. Amazingly true, heartfelt, agonizing and touching.
Thank you for posting.

edyhdrawde
Keer writing Keep reading.



#48. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Pony Tale (23)
Date and Time: 06-22-05 @ 6:19am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 400 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Well stated. Very well stated.

This poem starts out simple and gradually builds like a snowball into something larger than life. I could feel the tension building with each stanza until the last few lines that shrieked with desperation.

I certainly hope the last line is not true.

Keep writing so I can keep reading.

Pony Tale


#49. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ~Kittie~ (7)
Date and Time: 05-22-05 @ 3:22pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 12 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I love it :)


#50. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Peace In Faith ... (7)
Date and Time: 05-22-05 @ 8:58am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 261 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

All righty then! You know, you really have strange expressions? And as for whether or not you have a mind... I think not! No, I'm just kidding. It's interesting to listen to your musings. Things that never would have come to my mind. Very creative and write on!

#51. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Щ í t t (22)
Date and Time: 05-21-05 @ 12:18pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 332 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I give this a five because this poem is absolutely beautiful. I like the free verse rhythm and the way you've let your thoughts flow through the poem. I enjoyed how its random, and yet expessive and comprehensible - you haven't gone so abstract that I lose sight of where you're going. This poem deserved the award it won. Write on!


#52. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: katwoman45 (21)
Date and Time: 05-21-05 @ 12:15pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 924 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I'm sure you've heard it all before but I have to say that I think this is brilliant. There are days when I click on different poems on this site and I'm seriously disgruntled at the sameness and mundane nature that the words before me have. Then I found this, which speaks with such truth, lays out the essence of humanity with each written word. We have all wondered about these things, but don't talk about it because the truth scares us, and we're afraid of the judgment of others. Everyday, most of us struggle to make it through without losing control of our minds and emotions, preferring to lead a robotic life full of acceptable prompts. It really is easier. When we give in to temptation and ponder the deeper questions, the inability to find the answer can have a devastating effect. Nonetheless, it is brilliant mind that do this and emerge unscathed. This truly is philosophy. Thank you for the read.


#53. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: miStarrious lim... (69)
Date and Time: 05-21-05 @ 3:21am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 446 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Most profound! Somehow this poem manages to be whimsical, dark, deep and bordering on shallow all at the same time, which is awesome. You managed to touch on some really universal themes, such as the desire that we all have to be able to go back and change things in our past, making them achingly personal at the same time. Excellent work.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "(CLOSED) Good Deeds... Go Noticed v8.0".



#54. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Dark Secret (7)
Date and Time: 05-14-05 @ 2:56pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 316 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

All of your writing is really leaving me speechless!

I can really relate to this poem, and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks about death, the after life, and if existance is real or not. This poem really gets your mind working! Great job!

Write on!
Dark Secret


#55. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: pgdarkchild (6)
Date and Time: 04-30-05 @ 6:32pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 203 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a great poem there is some real honesty here. I would suggest that you work on the length of your lines and try to keep them consistent.

Keep writing always.
PGDarkChild


#56. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: icc (8)
Date and Time: 04-22-05 @ 3:54pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 1,051 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

beautiful, fantastic, breathtaking and i have run out of superlatives...short vocab...brilliant piece of writing...nothing seemed wrong or out of order or misplaced, evrything was just perfect...the subtle rhyming and the way it rolled of your tongue...and off course the idea itself was really cool, the excution even better...
I loved this part;

Sometimes I think about insanity, and freedom,
And dreams, and my mind, and if I really have one or not,
And I wonder if this is all a dream I’m having while
Still in my mothers womb, or if I’m merely part of
Someone else’s dream, or if it really matters anyway,
‘Cause all I really want is to understand where I am.

the poem gives you food for thought, food for questioning and food for seeking the answers! It sends you on a hunt and thats difficult to achieve in writing...infact i guess thats the ultimate aim of writing...to provoke a thought to such an extent so as to turn it into action!
Cheers!



#57. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: AnnaFassbender (17)
Date and Time: 04-10-05 @ 6:42am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 488 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Do you know me? I mean, how can you write down my thoughts
This is a very, very good work, if not a masterpiece.
It´s a work for the thinkers, for the people who enjoy life, but don´t forget what will be in the end.
We can escape many things in life, but we can´t escape the death. So, some of us think how to fill up the time between "to be born and going to die" with some expedient things and you putted them very well.
Good work, I love it.... Anna


#58. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lee (6)
Date and Time: 03-24-05 @ 1:31pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 292 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem is interesting. I laughed at the line about stealing frm safeway. Were you hungry?

I like the exploration of self through poetry. I was slightly disturbed by the suicidal reference, but that could be just my interpretation.

Write On!


#59. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Myndian Rotularen (6)
Date and Time: 02-21-05 @ 1:26am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 564 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Having been at the point of suicide myself on more than one occasion, and even attempting it a couple of times, I can certainly relate to this poem. Though devoid of any consistent, discernable meter, it seems to have a certain flow to it. It is as if it drifted directly out of your mind and onto the paper (monitor), even though the obvious attention to form suggests otherwise. I am impressed, and I enjoyed reading this immensely. (I don't say that often)

Keep up the good work!

-= Myndian Rotularen =-


#60. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: esclavedefille (6)
Date and Time: 02-18-05 @ 5:10pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 45 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

you sound depressed...do you need to talk lol


#61. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Daniel (16)
Date and Time: 02-14-05 @ 9:39am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 368 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]


A good premise, and a reasonable execution of that
premise.

I liked this piece. I like it a lot. It shows a great sense of self-knowledge. Good job.

Au revoir,
Danny

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.



#62. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Joan (25)
Date and Time: 02-09-05 @ 9:15pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 536 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Why? Life is worth living. There must be something in this world worth living for whether it be your family, friend or even pet. Sounds like your poetry is worth the precious words you have written for you have accomplish at least an awordicon. That is great.
It sounds good to me anyway. Don't give up on life even if it is hard to adjust. You might find that one day you will just look back and say they weren't that bad as they seemed to be at the time and put your faith in God and say a few prayers every now and then.


#63. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: T.Teffom (21)
Date and Time: 02-03-05 @ 6:24am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 888 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]


"Enjoy philospphical poetry with Death in the genre? Take up ALL I REALY WANT by Madman at Large. Read from grapes @ Safeway to PC's and black holes. Travel 'back in time' via 'pen & paper' & dreams."

Review from the desk of Managing Editor of the fictitious Alabama Courier News Times/ Feb 3.

The Suggestion: Check excessive comma usage. Genre of philosophy unmet. Genre of Writing == also unmet.

Don't worry. If you go back to the drawing board with this poem, let me know. So I can move over & make room for you, Mr Madman. As lots or authors spend months of time there. Best Luck.

On the other hand, sad & maudlin may have a place in contests. Who knows? Another venue, maybe.

Content rating. Advise: try again. Breath in, breath out; think of other things today. === Cordially, Teff


#64. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Cinderella (21)
Date and Time: 01-30-05 @ 1:53am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 1,261 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Where I Found This Piece: Horror Writers Group

What I Liked About The Piece: Everything. I love the raw honest emotions and feelings that you have poured into this piece. I love that it’s real and in your face. Fantastic job and perhaps one of the best pieces of poetry I’ve even had the honor of reading.

What I Feel Needs Work: Nothing it’s perfect as is!

Grammar and Spelling Suggestions:
None

How The Piece Made Me Feel: Alive and scared and fragile and emotional. I can identify with the author and the feelings in the poem. I recommend this piece to anyone. Wonderful job thank you for sharing.

Why You Got the Rating You Did: I gave you a 5 because this piece is wonderful. I really enjoyed it and I will check out more in your port because of it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others. - Virginia Woolf

ID: 931129 (Rated: E)
Title: Review Me
Description: Want a review? Visit Review me and find out how to get an indepth review of your work.
By: Cinderella (21)



#65. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: crystaldreams (15)
Date and Time: 01-22-05 @ 8:15pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 454 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Great read,love your views of our never-ending thoughts that bombard our mind and life at a never ending pace.We can only hope all this madness has some purpose or meaning within it all. I myself have thought alot about death and the freedom it may bring.But the part about changing the past is one I wish we could control.Control is an important key,that seems to be a never-ending struggle with in us all.I look forward to reading more of your work!-cd


#66. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: VerySara (65)
Date and Time: 01-19-05 @ 2:14pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 640 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

As you say, this is probably the most honest thing
you will ever write. And yet, I wonder how it will
seem to you in twenty years.
I like this poem a lot, and was not ready for the last
line. Don't worry about wanting to be different; you
already are and I doubt that you'll see normalcy (whatver that is) for a long while, if ever.
You write very well, and that is a gift not to be taken
lightly. And this is a good poem. There is nothing I
could say that would make it better! It's a pleasure
to know you through this work.
All best,
VerySara


#67. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: bbbaldwin (6)
Date and Time: 01-17-05 @ 9:11am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 640 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

these two versus work for me..............



Sometimes I think about paper, and pens,
And words, and thoughts, and whether I’m really even here or not,
And I wonder if you get the messages I write,
‘Cause all I really want is to tell you I’m sorry for hurting you.

Sometimes I think about fate, and destiny,
And predetermination, and piles of s***,
And I wonder if it isn’t all the same thing,
‘Cause all I really want is to control my own life.

how would you like to check me out ID: 919735 (Rated: 18+)
Title: Issues...Living with- in. . chap1
Description: It's about issues not just Issue...aka ISSUES....written w/thought
By: bbbaldwin (6)





#68. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Cat (25)
Date and Time: 01-16-05 @ 8:51am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 572 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This was an interesting poem. It seems really negative with the whole death theme in the beginning and end, but I think it's actually more about laziness and giving up. There are so many things to try and do, but the narrator isn't willing to put in the work, but die and go to heaven, where it's easy to suddenly become an expert in everything. Good job.

Sometimes I think about fate, and destiny,
And predetermination, and piles of s***,
I'm curious if you mean "predestination" here, instead or "predetermination."


#69. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Flower♥Power: (37)
Date and Time: 01-09-05 @ 1:57am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 706 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow. Part of me wonders if you were crying out when you wrote this, or young and typically going through the teen angst time in your life. Another part of me understands, cuz I'm a redhead who spent a long period of her youth asking the same questions, feeling the same way, and doubting everything I did.
I wonder if it is the writer in us that makes us ask these really deep questions. Or that makes us so truly sensitive. We may never know.

Still-- a powerful read. I hope you ARE
dramatic and musical, and different. And you have shown me with your words that you are able to fly.
so keep doing it.

--kay aka Flower in a flame



#70. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Medie-GS rocked... (31)
Date and Time: 12-03-04 @ 10:05pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 145 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

that was very well formed and well written but a little depressing. i liked the flow of the poem and how you repeated certain words. good work.


#71. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SaraJean with M... (25)
Date and Time: 12-03-04 @ 9:47pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 808 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I am not a stickler on rhyme scheme (unless one is attempted and horribly botched) or on the rhythm. To me, a poem of this sort is very personal. An illustration of deepest thoughts, so to speak. As such, I believe that the only person that really has to like it, be happy with it, or find meaning in it... is you.

There are no grammatical errors in this poem, and the spelling is all correct - so I will leave you only with this thought:

Poetry from your heart is just that, it is from your heart. Indeed, we all hope that our poetry will touch another, and to hope for that is wonderful - but before worrying about what others think of this poem, just be sure that you are happy with it.

(By the way, I loved it... it drew me in and I can relate.)


#72. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sean J~Hard Wor... (17)
Date and Time: 11-17-04 @ 2:35pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 424 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow. Very emotional. I like the way you carried your theme in this, and I really understand a lot of what you are saying. Things in your head just happen, but they interest you, and apparently not anyone else, so you feel ashamed, but at the same time, good, because they are your own. Maybe I'm missing your intended mark here, but regardless, I really liked yor poem. Thank you for sharing it.

Sean J


#73. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Purplesky (52)
Date and Time: 11-02-04 @ 12:40am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 415 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Sometimes I think about murder, and suicide- what a great opening line because it automatically gets the readers attention! great job on that!

And I wonder when it will be,
‘Cause all I really want to do is die- The same applies in this line although I would have ended it on a more positive note and I would have expanded it! good job though
Shelley


#74. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Books of Blood (17)
Date and Time: 10-22-04 @ 7:00am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 981 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Well, I thought this was absolutely great. Very honest, and it hits upon what most of us think from time to time. Well, those of us who aren't too busy with life to stop and contemplate life and/or death. There are no spelling mistakes or grammatical errors that I can see, but I'm not great on grammar, so I'm probably not a good person to base that on. -Blinky- And I also realise that you've probably had tons of reviews and stuff, but if everyone thought that and didn't give you a review you would never get any, if you get what I'm saying, so this is why I'm reviewing. Personally, I don't get that many myself, but then I don't have nearly as many items as you because I don't have a credit card and so am stuck on a measily 5 item limit. -Grumble- Yeah, so anyways. I know that every little comment helps and I'm really sorry to have started babbling and gone of and tanjents and such. Excellent peice. Really good. Loved it. -Thumbs up- Yeah...

~Imajica~


#75. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ~*Anood is a Qu... (83)
Date and Time: 10-20-04 @ 4:35pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 1,068 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hi there!

This is incredibly well written and yet so very sad at the ending. I wanted to offer you a notion that you are not alone in all these thoughts, but now I really must ask you if you really do wish for death?

It can not be so, as if you did, you wouldn’t be here to write about it. There’s nothing to stop you from taking your own life, and in no way am I encouraging you to do this, but rather hopefully help you see that what you think you want so badly isn’t necessarily true.

Sometimes evil speaks so close to our own ears we can’t tell the difference between its voice and our own.

I’ve been there and felt all of this before. Please don’t ever feel like you have no one to talk to. Even though I don’t know you, I’d always be happy to hear from you, and though I can’t always promise to understand or be able to offer the best advice, I can listen.

I do hope you’re wonderful,

Anood


#76. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Khalish (67)
Date and Time: 10-16-04 @ 9:49am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 678 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a nice poem. I do feel that it would look better if:

1. You shorten it a bit.

2. Rearrange it. There is no obvious reason to have 7 stanzas of 4 lines each, followed by one of 6 lines and the last of 8 lines.

3. While shortening, sacrifice the weak ones. I suggest you delete or alter the following--

Sometimes I think about fate, and destiny,
And predetermination, and piles of s***,
And I wonder if it isn’t all the same thing,
‘Cause all I really want is to control my own life.

That s*** makes the whole poem, well, a bit s***ty!

M C Gupta


#77. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sweet Pamela (15)
Date and Time: 09-30-04 @ 8:30pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 442 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I give this a 5 star rating, not because it has strong grammer or perfect sentence structure, but because it's simply excellent writing, in my opinion. Very surreal and truthful.
I like to think good writing is defined by a certain pananche to the writing style, followed up with thought provoking ideas.

This piece meets those standards.

Good Work!

Keep Writing
Sweet Pamela


#78. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Penemue (27)
Date and Time: 09-29-04 @ 3:36am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 554 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a phenomenal piece of writing, although the tagline of "most honest thing you'll ever write" in conjunction with the last line of the piece leaves one wondering what it is that prevents you from killing yourself?
Regardless of the reason why, I'm certainly glad you haven't... or if you actually are planning to do so, I'm at least glad you wrote this first, as it was very much worth reading.
Also, here's your 188 gp's back, as I don't believe this review merits them.
Take care, and best wishes for a brighter future.


#79. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: angel6 (16)
Date and Time: 09-20-04 @ 1:20am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 192 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hey, your poem is kinda sad. But I really did like it. I only have one item in my portfolio, it's poetry, but not nearly as good as yours. I like your style. You should keep writing poetry.


#80. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: alludra:thankin... (20)
Date and Time: 09-17-04 @ 9:47pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 298 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

awwwww. I love this poem. It just sneaked it's way into a list of my favorite poems--it touched me.

I love the whole thing, and I can relate to it, like I only can with a few poems. It is perfect! And it deserves a 5.

keeep Writing!

-Alludra


#81. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Andorian Ice Pr... (37)
Date and Time: 09-17-04 @ 11:55am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 649 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very interesting piece. I think most people think about death in one way or another. I have experienced death a lot in my life from my mother dying in my arms as I held her to my friend hanging herself to a few others ways. I think it's natural to wonder about ourselves and our future and what it holds out for us. I liked your use of words and heartfelt expressions. I too have wondered but after seeing life so fragile am thankful for each day I am alive and try to live it the best and fullest I can. People around me wonder why I love life as much as I do...and I tell them it's b/c I have seen death and am not ready for it.
Great job!


#82. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Grammar Hawk (40)
Date and Time: 09-14-04 @ 2:18pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 546 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]


WHAT WORKED----You're right, this is good and it is honest, and it reflects how many people feel as they pass through their years in this plane of existence.

TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors, and the piece had a consistent flow throughout.

OVERALL-----I like this poem. It's a little depressing, but very honest, and gives the reader pause to think, reflect, and consider their own life.

If you appreciate receiving reviews, ** #885399 Not An Image **




#83. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: BlueSkye - nee... (10)
Date and Time: 09-04-04 @ 9:19pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 281 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

wow, this is an.... an interesting piece, very nice. I liked it very much. I like what tyou have to say and how you say it, you've done a wonderful job. Keep up the good work and write on!

Skye.

** #884075 Not An Image **


#84. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Nataku (22)
Date and Time: 09-03-04 @ 6:19pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 277 Characters
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Absolutely amazing. Many things I have given fives because I couldn't find anything wrong with them. Or I didn't disagree with them. Or they were reminiscant of beauty. I belive this is the first time I have truly given anything 5 stars. It's breathtakingly spectacular. Bravo!


#85. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: INMAN-working o... (33)
Date and Time: 08-26-04 @ 10:12pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 255 Characters
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Very neat, tight piece about life, death and I really enjoyed it. When I like something then it is hard to tear it apart and I liked this piece immensely. Keep up the good work and keep writing. This is the kind of work I'd like to see more of. Bravo!


#86. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SCARLET || sc... (37)
Date and Time: 08-26-04 @ 1:39pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 378 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Know that you're not alone because there are plenty of us out there that think the exact same things. I can tell that you're a musician because as I read these, I thought to myself, these would make excellent song lyrics.

I think the conclusion of the poem really sums it up perfectly---and I think, subconsciously---it's how it is for a lot of people.


#87. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: girlbythesea (13)
Date and Time: 08-21-04 @ 8:36pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 163 Characters
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This is very very good. It immediatly grabs you and pulls you threw to the end. Wonderful piece.

Thanks for sharing with me.

GBTS


#88. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Kenzie (72)
Date and Time: 08-20-04 @ 7:59pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 351 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a great explanation of you. Wonderful word crafting. Sometimes, I think when we're the most honest is when we write the best.

I think I was disappointed at the last line. The rest of this seems that you want to live and learn and understand.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie


#89. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Maranda Musick (25)
Date and Time: 08-10-04 @ 9:19pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 300 Characters
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This is really good. And it is brutally honest. I think the part I most identified with is the last stanza, because I spend way too much time thinking about dying and wondering what it will be like while I'm dying, and after I'm dead. Sometimes I hate being so introspective! Anyway, good poem.


#90. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Zoo (89)
Date and Time: 08-10-04 @ 10:25am
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 890 Characters
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MadMan- This is probably the most unique and expressive poem I've read in a very long time. Reading it, I get the feeling that it's coming right from the center of your heart. It has soul. It has depth, and humor, sadness and happiness all in one.

Some people might not like the fact that the last two stanzas are different then the rest, but I don't care. They seem perfect to me because they stay true to the ideas you are trying to express, even as they seem to be a bit long winded... I especially like the last stanza where you wrap it all up. But every one of them is a little poem each to itself.

I think this poem would be an excellent one to read aloud.

It's one of the few poems you will find anywhere that mentions wanting to die, but is not suicidal, or depressing... Very nice work! I really like it...

ZD


#91. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Belle in love (55)
Date and Time: 08-08-04 @ 7:41am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 496 Characters
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This is very personal and a real heart opener.
This poem wasnt thought about or dreamt up, it was written straight from your soul and it shows.
A very strong powerful poem, especially the crescendo at the end, and I really admire your ability to show the world your true inner self. Most people hide that part of them away I do it myself sometimes if not most of the time.
I hope something in your life will change how you feel and trigger a real 'want' to live!!



#92. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Princess Lydia (29)
Date and Time: 08-07-04 @ 5:36am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 1,013 Characters
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I sometimes catch myself thinking all these things. I like the way the last line of each stanza creates an impact after the suppossedly tame lines preceeding the last line. There is just one thing, you have capitalized every word at the start of a line even when most of the words come after a comma.

E.g.
Sometimes I think about insanity, and freedom,
And dreams, and my mind, and if I really have one or not,
And I wonder if this is all a dream I’m having while
Still in my mothers womb, or if I’m merely part of
Someone else’s dream, or if it really matters anyway,
‘Cause all I really want is to understand where I am.

in the above stanza " if I’m merely part of Someone else’s dream," I think it should read as one sentence yet someone appears capitalized. I might be wrong you may have deliberately capitalized these words but I just thought I'd mention it to you.

A very thought provoking piece. Good job.


#93. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Emilbus™ (37)
Date and Time: 08-03-04 @ 10:28pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 315 Characters
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This is something I contemplate myself.
Perhaps its the power of an author to think these thoughts and put them on paper.
Perhaps others feel if they express these same thoughts verbally they will be fitted for the white jacket of submission....
Thanks for the post.
Your friend John


#94. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Dream (31)
Date and Time: 08-02-04 @ 3:43pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 138 Characters
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So many questions we don't have the answers to. At least I don't.

Thanks for sharing...

Dream


#95. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: wordstalker (20)
Date and Time: 08-02-04 @ 1:55pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 88 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

leave it to the poets to speak on death and life, you did a great job with this one man.


#96. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: REconnected Shaara (103)
Date and Time: 08-02-04 @ 12:46am
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 818 Characters
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This is so sad. I hope it's not true. You had me wrapped inside your dreams and your desires. I was right there with you until you ended it.

How can you doubt that what is, is now? Look at the green and tell me that's not worth living for? Grass is the texture, the softness, the tickle. Grass is worth living for.

And then there are trees. Each of them has a character. I think they laugh at us. The birds know this. They chatter to the trees. I hear them mornings.

Exploring this world is so much more fun than dreaming about what could, would, should, but isn't.

Death comes, but we have a celebration all around us. Welcome to the party. Feel the grass, bow your head to the trees, and reach up and touch the clouds. I do.

Shaara


#97. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Laart1 (74)
Date and Time: 08-01-04 @ 8:53pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 365 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I found this to be a very powerful piece that had an ending that hits you in the face. I felt like I could relate to the piece. I have had those moments myself. On the technical side I thought it flowed well. I like the way each stanza ended with "'cause all I really want...". I hope that that was only a brief feeling at the end and that was not an epitath. Lin


#98. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: elusive ennui l... (38)
Date and Time: 07-31-04 @ 11:18pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 246 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I know you are probably looking for some great critique of your work... sorry just drank two glasses of merlot and can't think... but this is very good and honest... crazy? probably, but the most interesting people are... thanks for writing it...


#99. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Shell Cares~ask... (28)
Date and Time: 07-31-04 @ 3:57am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 585 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Please don't die. I would miss you. Instead, keep writing honestly and telling us how you feel and think and desire.
Existential anxiety really does pass after awhile, but you have a way with words that will last forever. I can tell you that you are real because you touch me with your vulnerability. It is a scary place to be, but here, in this writer's haven there are many of us who have been there, and lived to tell the tale. Please keep honoring us with your presense here with us.
And above all, KEEP ON WRITING FOREVER!

Shell


#100. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: *Terryjroo~WYSIWYG!* (138)
Date and Time: 07-29-04 @ 2:02am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 478 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow Justin - this is really, really fabulous and unfortunately with you I know it is true. I enjoyed how you kept the stanzas in a repetitive flow until the very end and then expanded on the last two - especially how you wrapped it all up with the final stanza. Perfect!!!

Wonderful work here - I just wish you didn't feel this way. Are you getting any help for it? Has it got any better? Did going to Iraq make it worse?

Hugs,
Ter

#101. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Stick (13)
Date and Time: 07-28-04 @ 1:03pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 411 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I liked the way that this one was written, I have written some that were similiar that expressed what I had seen overseas or during combat. I guess that we all express our lives a bit differntly than others. I am guessing that you were once in the military from some of your other writings. Keep writing, it may make some civilian readers understand what its like to serve. Still serving!

Stick


#102. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mavis Moog (78)
Date and Time: 07-28-04 @ 12:26pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 337 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

At least that is a wish that is guaranteed to be granted, but not yet, I hope.

The rhythm of this poem was soothing and hypnotic. I found it very calming. I identify strongly with so much of this poem.

Thank you for sharing.

best wishes

Mavis Moog




#103. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Cliff (14)
Date and Time: 07-27-04 @ 1:05pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 292 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I am not well versed in this genre. But to me, it is very good stuff. It's dark, troubling, yet is an easy read. Can't really critique you on structure as I'm out of my league here. I would rather that you wait to die 'cause I see some real talent here. Hate to upset you, but cheers!!! Cliff


#104. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Piglet (45)
Date and Time: 07-22-04 @ 6:56pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 246 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Damn! That is a cool poem. I think it works well when you read it outloud. Have you ever performed this piece? I love the structure and the parallelism between the lines and the stanzas. Great write, great read!

-Becky-


#105. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: vicki (43)
Date and Time: 07-21-04 @ 8:44am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 369 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is a great and unique poem. I thought I had it figured out until the last line. Perhaps, I am too easy to please, all those great soaking lines that really give you the pleasure of a good author, yet, I suppose, the last few lines suffice. Great Read. Thanks for sharing it with us in the Author Newsletter. Best Regards.

~~Image #859180 Sharing Restricted~~


#106. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: karlaswan (25)
Date and Time: 07-18-04 @ 11:06am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 276 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Absolutely wonderful. To me, it reads like lyrics to a song. Did you mean it to be that way? If you don't mind, I would like to try to put it to song (I'm a songwriter/singer) sometime.
Anyway, it's one of the best things I've read here . . .
Sincerely, Karla


#107. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: dahan (16)
Date and Time: 07-18-04 @ 9:27am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 255 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Everyone reflects on thier own thoughts at times, wondering what is normal, what they really want in life, (how many of us have figured that out?) all the things we would like to do and be....and how in the end death is what awaits us. An honest writing.


#108. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SherrasQ (53)
Date and Time: 07-17-04 @ 5:53pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 1,059 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I really like this poem. Though I admit, I wasn't too keen on it until I got to the fifth stanza. Then I sat up and started to really take notice. After I finished (very excited I might add) I saw how it was a gradual progression from the first stanza to the last. And how the first few stanzas not only set the framework for the poem, but also lead the reader into the writer, step by step.

After re-reading it and coming to the above conclusion, I had to go back and decide why I got so impatient in the fourth stanza. I decided it's a combination between the tail end of the third stanza and the beginning of the forth. Something jars there, or more precisely, something doesn't grab me there. I think it's the lack of emotion in the musician thing, coupled with the computer thing (also an unemotional item). I recommend a tiny touch there to keep the reader in emotional flow.

Nice piece. You write well, and I can see you spend a lot of time thinking about your works.


~~Image #815558 Sharing Restricted~~


#109. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: stefanirose (23)
Date and Time: 07-17-04 @ 2:46am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 157 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I think this piece was deliciously honest...not that it was all sugar and sweetness...but that it was raw and real...and I love that in a piece...great job!!


#110. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ImaRyder (12)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 11:58pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 313 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Oh my....I don't exactly know what to say. I would like to give you a big hug right now from the truth that I feel is in the piece you have written. This is such a moving and troubled writing that I am at a loss for words. I totally identify with the feelings. I applaud your ability to express them. Amazing....


#111. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lea-proud mommy (21)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 3:19pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 137 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is very honest...I think that all of our writing has a piece of us, a piece of truth about us. This poem is well written, good job.


#112. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Genevieve Justine (27)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 1:37pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 489 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I usually really dislike peotry, but ths was incredible! I found this on the author's newsletter, congratulations. I liked the fact that all of it actually tied together at the end, to give it a more comfortable form of finality. I have never seen a poem that did that, as a long winded writer that couldn't write poetry if my life depended on it, and it gave it an end I was used to. You create mental images that are amazing, great work!

Keep writing,
Genevieve


#113. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: The Critic (34)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 12:40pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 176 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very interesting. I found your work featured in one of the newsletters I was reading. Sorry I can't remember which one at this moment.

Thank you for sharing.


#114. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Suze married lady (41)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 9:37am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 378 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Your words gave me shrivers. I understood and felt each line, and as I read I nodded my head confirming that I knew. IT was powerful. This poem has to be published where millions and millions can read its message, its truth, because there are so many who will identify with this- as I did.

This is the perfect poem.

Make sure you keep writing.


#115. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Jyjinn (15)
Date and Time: 07-15-04 @ 5:22am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 98 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wonderful, emotional poem. I was impressed by it. You fully deserve the awardicon it has recieved.


#116. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mary The Gypsy-... (32)
Date and Time: 07-12-04 @ 8:49am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 206 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I liked it. I enjoyed how you summed it up with pieces from different parts of the poem, and I can sympathize with your sentiments.

You do have talent, don't let anyone tell you different.


#117. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: LisaTW151 (25)
Date and Time: 07-02-04 @ 2:22am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 122 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

You're right. This does come across as being very honest. It's very eye opening and I enjoyed it immensely.
Lisa


#118. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Robin Everyday (51)
Date and Time: 06-19-04 @ 7:44am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 172 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

MadMan has successfully depicted the hopes, dreams fears, thoughts and beliefs of humanity in a candid expression of poetry. A must read.

--Robin



#119. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Funnyface (60)
Date and Time: 06-17-04 @ 2:45pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 137 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

A very sad poem, yet very well written. Your emotions are so heartfelt throughtout the whole poem. Congratulations for such high ratings


#120. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Avian Anderson (11)
Date and Time: 06-16-04 @ 6:48pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 521 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

that is pretty dang interesting.

sligthly depressing, but you have to admit it has a rhythm and flow. you tie it together very well, alluding to each previous stanza as you move through the poem.

it's interesting how it goes from being relatively light hearted and talking about flying to how you want to die. i find it rather depressing that you would write this, though. that anyone would write this. yes, it is honest, but i believe you have things to live for.

avian


#121. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: The Power of th... (95)
Date and Time: 06-16-04 @ 6:47pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 653 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This certainly digs deep into your soul and exposes all the different parts of you.

I found it very honest, raw and felt your emotion in each line.

You cover many thoughts that many people have, but don't have the courage to admit. Most subjects you mention are taboo in us; maybe because of fear, insecurity or hurt.

You are very courageous to have written this piece and have to be admired for sharing it with us!

Well done and keep writing.

Frankies Girl



"Invalid Item"
** #855567 Not An Image **



#122. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: frenchfry (44)
Date and Time: 06-02-04 @ 10:52pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 25 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Jeez, man...that is good.


#123. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mia (73)
Date and Time: 06-02-04 @ 10:52pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 254 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I'm not usually one for poetry, but this really is great. I can see why it's got all these positive ratings.
This piece has a bunch of deep thoughts, feelings, and emotions rolled into one incredible poem.
I really enjoyed this!


#124. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: winklett (70)
Date and Time: 06-02-04 @ 8:55pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 146 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Beautiful, sharp, and evocative. I love it, I identify with it, and it is honest and rhythmic and raw. Fantastic! Well worth its ribbon & more.


#125. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: gémeaux (34)
Date and Time: 06-02-04 @ 6:44pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 559 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Firstly, you're comment about stealing grapes from Safeway made me laugh, because I work at a Safeway. I can assure you that stealing a grape does not make you a freak. I've caught a few people, lol!

When you said this was honest, I never really envisioned just how honest you meant, but now I understand. You have captured my thoughts, human insecurities and wonders very well, so much so that this poem disturbed me with it's truth. I'm very impressed with your accuracy of thoughts and the writing its self.


#126. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: sockerchick (16)
Date and Time: 05-30-04 @ 7:39pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 183 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem is very... I can't find the precise word, but I'll use unique for now :) It was very good, and it definitely deserved the awardicon. Great writing.

Brittney


#127. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Vincent Van Wilder (20)
Date and Time: 05-21-04 @ 7:03pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 11 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

nicely done


#128. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ~*Antoinette*~ (11)
Date and Time: 05-19-04 @ 8:32pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 121 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow! This is amazing! I can't really think of any other words to describe it! Very good job!

~Antoinette


#129. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: mr choo (16)
Date and Time: 05-19-04 @ 8:16am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 420 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

excellent poem. great truth and sentiment. although it needs a more exact vibe. What you've written is like a description of an intelligent beings human condition, yet I empathise I don't know anything about what it feels like to be you or what brought you to the need to write the poem. You obviously have a great mind, use it to theoretically represent yourself in the form of your words and you could be a great poet.


#130. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: WW says Marry M... (52)
Date and Time: 05-13-04 @ 2:59pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 1,815 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hi MadMan!

This is an excellent poem!

TYPOS

I found no typos in your poem. Great Job!

COMMENTARY

This is a very good poem, well-written and very well-worded!

This poem captures the wide range of emotions that we can go spiraling through at any given time in our life.

It's very deep, yet easily interpreted, with a very sad ending.

My favorite part was:

Sometimes I think about road signs, and trees,
And mosquitoes, and what it’s like to be dead,
And I wonder if you can really fly around when you’re a ghost,
‘Cause all I really want to do is fly. Excellent!

IN CLOSING

Thanks for sharing this poem. You're a very deep and expressive writer and I hope to read more from you soon. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

My Rating System:

5.0= Perfect...wouldn't change a thing!
4.5-4.0= Very good, but with a couple of typos
3.5-3.0= Good but could use alot of proofreading
2.5-2.0= Has potential but needs major editing
1.5-1.0= Needs quite alot of attention (I very rarely give this rating!)




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#131. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Dione (47)
Date and Time: 05-13-04 @ 2:31pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 114 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I think you need to not think....
normal thoughts...
then again, do you think I am really normal?


#132. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: grandmapenny (39)
Date and Time: 04-23-04 @ 11:50pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 171 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow! That's a lot of thinking. But some pretty deep stuff. I think most of us have pretty much these same thoughts.

Keep writing.
Grandma Penny


#133. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: dreadnaughtx (17)
Date and Time: 04-05-04 @ 3:59pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 451 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I think someone actually understands me, only their not describing me, only they are. Its kind of odd and kind of nice to finally read something that finally makes sense to me. I feel someone out there really does have a brain. I'm adding this to my list of items to advertise.

PS-This is a milestone in my life, thank you.

Please read- "A guide for Hero", "Invalid Item", "Invalid Item", "Edge City", or "Invalid Item"!


#134. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: megaroonie bunny (57)
Date and Time: 01-04-04 @ 12:12am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 333 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Painfully, wonderfully honest.

This has been added to my favorites.

Thank you

Megan


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#135. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lady of Dreams (11)
Date and Time: 11-28-03 @ 11:27am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 59 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I love this! It's a great poem, you really get the message.


#136. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mongeaux (13)
Date and Time: 11-14-03 @ 10:48pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 371 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very nice - reads more like a song lyric, I think you should consider seting it to music. The last line is dramatic, but I wonder if it's almost too dramatic? The rest of the piece doesn;t sound like its building up to suicide. The overall structure is very clean and each image flows well into the next. Overall impression is: great job! I am off to read a few more now.


#137. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: *~~Aiyana~Mausi~Oki (39)
Date and Time: 11-12-03 @ 10:10pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 164 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

WOW!! Fantastically written!! I have had some of these same thoughts, but could not even dream of putting them down so succinctly!

~~Cool Breeze :)


#138. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mariposa: At C... (87)
Date and Time: 11-12-03 @ 9:52pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 86 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow, this is a very, very powerful poem!! So honest, so real, so vivid! Well - done!!!


#139. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: EntilZha Jedimerc (31)
Date and Time: 11-05-03 @ 1:07pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 504 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I certainly cannot fault you for your honesty and I think in the end we all have those feelings. We would not be human otherwise. I like the verse dealing with infinity, as I am predisposed to thinking of the universe in those terms :) The poem had a very easy movement and was chilling, moving and haunting at various times as the verses changed to keep up with the thoughts of the author. Reminds me of how I am when I cant sleep (which is most of the time.) Very well done.

Chris


#140. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: intuey Donation... (138)
Date and Time: 10-25-03 @ 4:16am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 268 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is really good. I think we all have a lot of those same thoughts, close to them anyway. I also feel like this is more of a prose than poetry. as it is telling your feelings in no particular order. Great piece-write on my friend!
L*L,
Tracey


#141. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: John~Ashen (62)
Date and Time: 10-19-03 @ 1:42am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 94 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I think this would be absolutely brilliant if you replaced the last word "die" with "enjoy it"


#142. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Just Rick (66)
Date and Time: 10-15-03 @ 12:06am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 714 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Holy crap! This is an awesome piece (I'm getting a little tired of saying that to you--don't want the head to get too big). I'm not much for poetry/prose (of course that doesn't stop me from churnin' it out for some reason) but your words and thoughts are really hard-hitting and eloquent where they need to be and blunt where it works better.

I especially liked:
Sometimes I think about fate, and destiny,
And predetermination, and piles of s***,

Nice job. If you have anything really crappy in your port, let me know so I can go to it and tear it to shreds so I don't have to be so damn chipper all the time with you .

Rixtr




#143. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Paige (43)
Date and Time: 10-09-03 @ 1:13am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 228 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This is very deep and prophetic, Mad Reaper! I can understand your questions about life, I often think of the same things! You write it with a wonderful style and I like the format, keeps you reading and wanting more! Paige


#144. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: LONGHAIR (11)
Date and Time: 10-05-03 @ 2:27pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 32 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I LOVE YOU MAN DO YOU NEED A HUG


#145. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Organic Gardeni... (37)
Date and Time: 10-02-03 @ 10:31pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 330 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Great poem, and I dont really like poetry! Geeze, didn't mean for that to be an underhanded compliment! I don't think I could write anything like that, of course I've never tried, oh brother I'm rambling must be that Black Harvest stuff clogging my mind i'll go now sorry!

Good writing!

WEndy


#146. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: richocol (12)
Date and Time: 09-30-03 @ 7:10am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 110 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Morbid but thought provoking and as you say honest. The best poem type thing I've read on this site.Well done!


#147. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Texasranger (42)
Date and Time: 09-28-03 @ 3:42pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 115 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

WOW!!! You really cover it all here...I wouldn't change a thing, therefore, you get the 5...

Gina


#148. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: RikkiWilde (11)
Date and Time: 09-28-03 @ 2:12am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 75 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I really identified with what you wrote. Thanks for allowing me to read it.


#149. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SilverSara (40)
Date and Time: 09-21-03 @ 8:12pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 271 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I'm just speechless. This is one of the most incredible pieces I've ever read. The honesty is very much appreciated. I'm not sure I could ever write something so gripping. It's truly inspiring .
Always,
SilverSara

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#150. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Stormy Lady (62)
Date and Time: 09-05-03 @ 9:39pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 120 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow you have a very interesting mind
This is a good poem
Thank you for sharing
Stormy

#151. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lori McIntyre (20)
Date and Time: 09-02-03 @ 8:11pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 194 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

WOW! That is all my mind can seem to formulate to express all I'm feeling when reading this.

It is amazing! All I can say is WOW! Thank you.

** #710911 Not An Image **


#152. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Dr Demon Squirr... (82)
Date and Time: 09-02-03 @ 6:37pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 98 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow, a very thought provoking poem! You have me wondering too!!!

darkin



#153. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: SwanieHawk (30)
Date and Time: 09-01-03 @ 9:36pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 161 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Candid, unique, organized ... what more could I want? And this is from a girl who usually doesn't rate poems. I could relate to this one.

Jen


#154. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: †§hadowsin§tone† (37)
Date and Time: 09-01-03 @ 9:34pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 40 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Incredible.
*stands back in awe*


#155. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: yogurt... (42)
Date and Time: 08-15-03 @ 4:06pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 417 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Nice poem, Madman. I don’t know what to say. Poetry is hard for me to review because I don’t know squat about it. All I can really ever say about poetry is that a) I liked it and b) I didn’t like it.

This, I liked. It had a sense of confusion in it. It made the reader feel strung up. Not much of a rhythm, unfortunately, and I feel poetry needs that.

Congrats on the Awardicon, too.


#156. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Goldie thanks M... (37)
Date and Time: 08-15-03 @ 4:01pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 9 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

TOP NOTCH


#157. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Descent (18)
Date and Time: 08-13-03 @ 5:17am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 277 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Your rivers run deep...

I normally don't read or rate poetry. But this is piercing. Strange, now... I do feel somewhat of a kinship with you. However, I can imagine this piece hit the nerve of a lot of people... you have captured the human condition.



#158. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: GreyWolf ...run... (34)
Date and Time: 08-12-03 @ 6:12am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 120 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Gee, I guess you know what you want, eh?
I'd settle for a couple redheads and a hot tub. :P
Ben



#159. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lola St. Marcos (20)
Date and Time: 08-09-03 @ 11:58pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 72 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I really, really like this. Thanks for letting me read it.
Lola


#160. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sophia Hill (17)
Date and Time: 08-05-03 @ 5:32pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 263 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow, that had an impact and a half! Mainly because I can relate to it, and because its so vividly written. You convey your thoughts very clearly. That award is well deserved! I hardly ever give 5 stars but I think you should have them.

x Sophia x


#161. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: gailey (58)
Date and Time: 08-05-03 @ 7:09am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 384 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I liked everything about this poem. What you've said, how you've said it, why you've said it and the fact that you've said it. The extra lines added in the last two verses give it a momentum and energy when most poems' endings are 'winding down' the energy. But this makes it more powerful and gives what you're saying and thinking an immediacy. VERY GOOD WRITE!!!
gailey


#162. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Gregory S Willis (32)
Date and Time: 07-28-03 @ 12:13am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 34 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

man, that's powerful.
Greg


#163. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: *Chyna Dolores (56)
Date and Time: 07-22-03 @ 10:42pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 287 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I have to be honest, this isn't really something that I would normally read. It is an interesting piece though, I really liked how it seemed all over the place, sorta like a persons actual thoughts. Really made the piece stand out for me.


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#164. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Mea Culpa (17)
Date and Time: 07-21-03 @ 2:34am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 685 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I can feel this piece, and I understand the awardicon. I haven't been in "that place" in a while, but I know it well.

The stanza repitition is quite lulling. It creates a nice cyclical feeling. I wonder if you can throw in something unexpected to jar the reader just a bit- like a verbal slap across the face. The only reason I say this is because the reader may actually get TOO comfortable in that rhythm- like it's either ok to be there, or it's like violence on tv- you experience so much of it, you can become apathetic to it. Just, maybe, something with which to play.

Thank you for sharing both pain and freedom.

Mea Culpa


#165. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: ~Lady Bee~ (45)
Date and Time: 07-20-03 @ 10:31pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 152 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow, there is a lot of emotions packed into this item. Makes you think.....

Thank you for sharing yourself with me.


#166. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Warbird_wa (21)
Date and Time: 07-15-03 @ 10:25pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 221 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This was good I really can relate to these thoughts! I have gone through that time of wondering if people really get what I write. If they know who I am, my dreams or fears?

good job! thanks for sharing!


#167. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: BlueThunder (41)
Date and Time: 07-15-03 @ 2:17pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 955 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hi MadMan,
Well, I can certainly see why this one got an awardicon here. Sometimes I think the same things, and wonder if Im the only one whos thinking it,, LOL. This poem really says it all, and then some. Thats what I call, really writing from the soul. WAY TO GO MADMAN!! All I can say is, its perfect, Thats why I gave it a 5. Dont change a thing. You have said more in one poem than most people say in a lifetime. Fantatstic work here. Never stop writing. You got it down. LOL

Yes, Im still going through your port. When I find a good one out there, I tend to stick with it to the end.I even added you to my fav authors list. I like to check back on ports like this. Way to go!

Blessings Always,
BlueThunder

PS. If I had a ton of GPts handy, Id be sending them over left and right. Hang in there though, I ordered some LOL. And now I exit with my famous Arnold quote,,, "Ill be back"


#168. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Jax (59)
Date and Time: 07-13-03 @ 10:26pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 117 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I love the deep, raw, real emoton to this. A masterfully written poem in my opinion.

** #707679 Not An Image **


#169. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Messenger (48)
Date and Time: 07-11-03 @ 8:42pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 416 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Oh my. What can I say here? This is dark, exploratory poetry at its very best. I am very...............!
impressed with this poem, and the poetic talent you show in it.
I loved the ideas you expressed, the words you used, the honesty of it, and the way you summed up all your thoughts in the last stanza.
I thought you wrote a flawless poem. And I want to say, thanks for letting me read it.


#170. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Syndirella (28)
Date and Time: 07-11-03 @ 10:48am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 241 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem would make a great song. I was really surprised by the last line. The whole poem really moved me and the last line just made me feel very sad.

It seems like you put a lot of thought into this poem. It is very nice.


#171. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Valori76 (17)
Date and Time: 07-11-03 @ 2:51am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 515 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

First off, wow. Depressing and dark, but wow. I really want alot of those things too!

The next thing is you broke your rhythm! You had a great beat and four line groups going then you went and threw a 6 line and an 8 line section on the end. Obviously these lines go together. I'm not sure how to "fix" these last 14 lines to keep your pattern.

Aside from that, you had a nice flow, and expressed yourself wonderfully. Can't wait to read the next four! Valori


#172. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Wenderoo! (30)
Date and Time: 07-10-03 @ 11:16pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 10 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very dark.


#173. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Pam (29)
Date and Time: 07-08-03 @ 7:20am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 157 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Dear MadMan,

This is very powerful. Your feeling and emotions come thru with striking clarity. I enjoyed reading this.

Pam


#174. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Pallas Athene (46)
Date and Time: 07-07-03 @ 7:19pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 286 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Well, you hade me worried with the "terrible poetry" thing, but I'm actually fond of this poem. It reads very well, and casually addresses some common strains of human thought. The last line seems to change the tone of the poem drastically, though, in a way I was not quite expecting.


#175. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Tigger: kissed ... (97)
Date and Time: 07-05-03 @ 5:03pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 298 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

whether I’m really even here or not,
very cool line!

The poem says a lot... but in a way so its non-graphic. Very well written!
And, I relate SO WELL with the wondering if everything is a dream thing. And WHEN WILL IT END?!

Keep writing!!!

#176. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Anouska Foster (30)
Date and Time: 07-01-03 @ 5:38pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 381 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

'Cause all I really want is to control my own life.'
Bit clumsy what about:
cause all i really want to do is control my life.

An interesting poem; more of a monologue as you aren't trying to embellish those feelings with images. But i think many people can relate to this, even myself. Well done.
Best wishes
Anouska Foster



#177. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Miss Lizza (19)
Date and Time: 07-01-03 @ 3:22pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 129 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I loved the stream of conciousness, and the refrain..Cause all I really want to do ....
You're awesome!
Elizabeth


#178. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sonja is so sorry (19)
Date and Time: 05-22-03 @ 12:01am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 357 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

"Sometimes I think about black holes, and circles,
And yellow lines, and infinity,
And I wonder where it all ends, or if it ever does,
‘Cause all I really want is to rest."

From the whole poem I found these lines amazing, they just stood out so much. Somehow I can understand exactly what you mean. Good job, really!


#179. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lady Stars (68)
Date and Time: 05-19-03 @ 10:00am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 490 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

A very deeply written piece. I am sure that each and every one of us at some point in time, have thought about these very things.

Your stanza's are great, the only suggestion I would make is to make everyone of them with the same number of lines. That is because you have so many with only four lines and your last two stanzas go above that. It takes away from the flow a little.

Keep up the great work!

Lady Stars
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#180. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: R., Sequinn (26)
Date and Time: 05-18-03 @ 7:20pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 150 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Great thoughts expressed.

My lack of reviewing skills show way too much through this review.

** #681430 Not An Image **


#181. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Sage of Words (84)
Date and Time: 05-18-03 @ 6:43pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 55 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Powerful piece. Good expression put into it. Take care!


#182. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: very=deb_sampson (38)
Date and Time: 05-18-03 @ 3:11pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 573 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

What's great about this poem is the specificity and originality--too many poems about discontent and angst fall into generalities and cliches, but this one, with lines such as "stealing grapes from Safeway", does not. It also maintains a passion and energy.
However, what I don't like is the repetitition of "Sometimes I think" and "Cause all I really want." This is monotonous, and nearly caused me to stop reading the poem. Varying the last line, especially, is important--you could add to the meaning by adding something specific and different in each stanza.


#183. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Pita (128)
Date and Time: 05-18-03 @ 2:38pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 1,824 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I can see why people might have trouble with this poem (ie, viewed but backed out and didn't rate.)

You are asking surface questions, but not superficial ones, but trying to give a name to the unease the narrator of the poem feels. The questions asked, internally, are very difficult ones that emcompass the meaning of being himan, with out mistakes, mortality, pain.

In a lot of ways this reminds me of something I would find on Counting Crows first album, August and Everything After. (And that's a compliment because its one of my favorite and I listen to it daily at work.) Young readers, even young adults, are going to be confused by this poem. Older folks, people int heir late 30s and on-ward, will read this and say "ahhhhhh!"

The imagery is solid although its like, in some ways, a hummingbird that flitters swiftly from one point to the next, engaging and disengaging.

With a bit of work you could turn this into a song (I can hear it easily with acoustic giytar, maybe a mandolin and a flute solo.)

Why a 4.5? Well, I don't like the murder opening and I didn't like you saying "s***" in the poem. The latter is just swearing that takes away from a quality poem. Swearing works in some poems, but not this one. As for murder, that isn't a problem but this poem starts with adult themes (murder, suicide) to posit the extremes. Therefore, I think you should up the rating to R. Teens won't understand this poem anyway. Its the kind of poem you only understand if life has really kicked you around in the past. An argument could easily be made to keep this PG13, but I always err on the side of too high a rating than too low.

This is a good poem. I'm impressed (and I don't get impressed easily.



#184. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: The Kafkaesq... (60)
Date and Time: 05-17-03 @ 10:53pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 182 Characters
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Please don't die! You seem like such a cool guy! You're an awesome poet, too. I've been to the whole "death" thing so Email me or IM me if you want to talk. God bless~The Poltergeist


#185. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: The Great Twitc... (27)
Date and Time: 05-16-03 @ 10:22pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 9 Characters
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cool poem


#186. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: *Terryjroo~WYSIWYG!* (138)
Date and Time: 05-16-03 @ 6:05pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 335 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Now this I really like! Through all of it's randomness which is obviously intentional, it actually says something about life and death! This is in reality the best poem you have in here so far!!

Great Job!!

** #576333 Not An Image **

You should put this in at ID: 425906 (Rated: 13+)
Title: Review Rendezvous
Description: A review forum for black and gold cases under 60 days at Writing.Com
By: Pita (128)
and get it noticed!


#187. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: italychica (16)
Date and Time: 05-15-03 @ 7:57pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 199 Characters
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Wow~! Great expressions and words. I think about the same things daily. Good work!!
Italychica


**I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all of my childish fears**


#188. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Liddle Green Man (16)
Date and Time: 05-15-03 @ 6:52pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 239 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Holy crap man! This is great! GOOD STUFF! I really like how you start out by relating to everyone and making it feel like it they are their thoughts too., and in the end tying it all together into one big, awesome verse. REALLY GREAT WORK!


#189. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Allyn is a Warrior! (27)
Date and Time: 05-14-03 @ 12:27pm
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Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 82 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very good poem. Very deep and heart felt.

Keep up the good work.


#190. Review Of "All I Really Want" (nw) [Rated: 18+]

Review By: Lady Muriann (27)
Date and Time: 05-13-03 @ 10:10pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 308 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Wow.
Honestly, I don't really like giving someone more than one 5 star rating, but you definetly deserve it! This poem expresses just about everything I've been thinking lately. "You hit the nail on the head" to cliche it, which is really all I can say because I'm still caught up in the words. Wow.