It Could Have Been Me

I never knew. I never knew about that prophecy. Harry knew. Dumbledore told him. But I didn’t learn about it until Harry was gone. He told me, just before…you know. It could have been me. If things had been different, if Voldemort had chosen to attack my family that night, I would have been the “Boy Who Lived”. Or would I? Would my mum have done what Harry’s mum did? Did she love me that much? Did my dad? Would one of them have sacrificed themselves for me? Would I have been the one with the scar, the one who was famous? Would I have been the one having all those adventures? Or would things have turned out differently? Would I be different? Would this war even have happened?

I can’t process all of this. I don’t know why Voldemort chose Harry instead of me, or why we turned out the way we did. I don’t know if I could have been as brave as Harry was, if I could have performed that spell and killed Voldemort. I don’t know anything. This thing has turned everything inside out. I just don’t get it. I don’t know…

Maybe someday I’ll figure it out. It’s too hard to think about it right now. The war only ended a few months ago. Lots of people have died. Percy Weasley and Snape and Malfoy and others I don’t know about. And Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort are both dead. Ron and Hermione are both okay now. They’re going to get married soon. They want to have it on Harry’s birthday, to honor him.

Luna Lovegood is still in the hospital. Ginny and I go visit her sometimes. I’ve been living at Grimmauld Place with Ginny. She says Harry would have wanted her to have the place, but she doesn’t want to be alone. I understand. We were the last two to see him. He told me about the prophecy, and then he took her aside. She won’t tell me what he said to her, but she cries so much I can guess. She misses him more than any of us. I try to help, but there’s not much I can say that helps.

I haven’t told her about the prophecy. I’m afraid she’ll blame me. I mean, if things had been different, it could be me who was dead now, instead of Harry. It could have been Harry who was trying to comfort Ginny, Harry who was trying to work out this thing. It could have been Harry who was ordinary and me who was special. Harry might have had parents. It could all have been different, really different, if only Voldemort had chosen a different house, a different family to attack that Halloween. It could have been me…

It could have been me.