Talena's Dilemma

(959 Words)

I was six when my mother explained to me that I was going to be a big sister. She continued to try to explain what that meant. She didn’t have to explain, because I knew exactly what it meant. My best friend Michelle is a big sister. It meant sharing. I would have to learn to share my stuff. I was never going to have anything to myself, and it was never going to be just me and mom anymore.

“Aren’t you excited, Darling?”

I shrugged, and dug the toe of my Ked into the dirt that lined the driveway. I wanted to run away. I wanted to make her and daddy get back into the car and fix this problem. Everything was fine this morning before they left for the doctor. Why would they want to go and get another kid?

“Can you tell them never mind Mommy?” I asked, still hanging on to hope.

“Talena, don't be silly!” My mother replied in a harsh tone, she was not happy.

“I don’t want to be a big sister is all. Michelle is a big sister and she says she wished her mom would send him back.” I said quite frankly.

“Well, sweetie you are going to have a little sister. It might be different for you. Michelle has a baby brother. With a sister, you will have more in common. You will be able to share things.”

“But, I don’t wanna share!” I screamed defiantly at her.

“I don’t wanna share a room, and I don’t wanna share my dolls!” There, I said it. I cowered just a little expecting a swat on the bottom.

Mom walked away without saying anything else. Dad just stood there and shook his head. I ran to my room in tears. Before long dad knocked on my bedroom door, it was time for dinner.

“I don’t want it. Give it to the baby!” I screamed. “She’s going to end up taking everything anyways!”

Silence. Dad's footsteps faded down the hallway. I held Hollie, my favorite doll, close to my chest and vowed never to let the baby drool on her. After awhile I drifted off to sleep.

Over the next several months my parents tried desperately to help me adjust to the idea of being a big sister. In the meantime, Michelle had told me horror stories about how her favorite doll is now stained with baby food and smells like baby puke. I cringe and remember Hollie; I had vowed never to let that happen to her. I don't know what to do, the baby is going to be here in a couple of weeks.

“Honey, it’s time to get ready for bed.” I heard my mother calling.

I felt a little betrayed as I slipped my gown over my head and climbed into bed, it was still daylight. The house was quiet. I knew dad was in his study. I wondered what mom was doing. Before the baby interrupted mom was usually in my room at this time for our “little talks”. I really missed her. I looked at Hollie. I had been given Hollie before I was born. She was here waiting for me when mom and dad brought me home. I wondered if my little sister had a Hollie. I climbed out of bed. The hardwood floor was cool on the bottom of my feet. I snuck down the hall dragging Hollie at my side. I peeked into my parents' room. My mom sat in her old rocking chair. She was rocking and humming to herself, or maybe to the baby.

“Mommy?” I whispered

She was startled and turned her attention to the bedroom door. Her sweet smile radiated, and she seemed to glow in the light as it danced on her face.

“Mommy, does the baby have a Hollie?” I asked. I expected her to say no. I was hoping that she would say no, because it would confirm that I was special for having a Hollie.

“Yes, baby…she has a special “Hollie”. She has the best “Hollie” in the whole world.” My mother replied, matter of factly.

I began to cry. This was bad. Not only does she have a Hollie, but she has the best one.

“Come here sweetie.” My mom continued.

I wanted to crawl up into her lap and stay there forever. I didn’t want anything to change. I was not ready to be a big sister. As I approached mom, I realized that she had no more room in her lap for me. I was certain the baby had something to do with that too. But, I was too weak with despair to talk about it. I let Mom stroke my hair and comfort me. I knelt by her side and allowed myself to be loved by my mother. As we sat there silently, I felt something move against the side of my head. I sat up and looked at my mother in surprise.

“What was that?” I asked.

“That, my dear, is Cecily, your baby sister.” Mom replied with glee. “I think she is happy to finally hear from you. She is jumping with joy.”

I was amazed. I laid my head back down against my mother’s mid section and smiled. Maybe it won’t be so bad to be a big sister.

“Mom, can I see Cecily’s Hollie?” I asked, eager to see the best Hollie in the world.

“Honey, you ARE her Hollie”. My mother smiled.

I smiled back and laid my head gently onto my mother’s belly.

“Did you hear that Cecily?” I asked my baby sister.

“Mom, does that mean I have to share MY Hollie?”

For the first time in months, my mother and I shared a good laugh.