If only...

If I had been there,
Would it still have gone wrong?
Was there something,
Even of the smallest measure,
That I could have done?
Could I have helped at all,
Or was it me that was spared?

If only I had been there.
Questions haunt my mind,
Was my absence to blame,
Did my void create the path
For it all to go awry?

If only I had been there.
How many times it has been said
Since the first time
you said I made a difference?
You conjectured that
I could change the stars
Just by being there.

If only I had been there,
Maybe he wouldn't have died,
Maybe she wouldn't have fallen,
Maybe my world would be different.
If I had always been there...
At least I would know, if I had been there.