Why I Should Run Away

Now, you'd think my lady human would be proud of me when I bring my trophies to the house. Birds, snakes, baby squirrels, and the occasional mouse. But, Noooo. She screams and yells and stamps her foot at me. Her bulging eyes and bright red face are an awesome sight to see. I don't understand why she feels the need to screech like a wart-nosed, ugly, old witch. Most of the time they're already dead, although, once in a while they twitch.

She calls the tall human to take my trophies away. The one who puts the leftover goodies in the covered treat container by the curb. The smells and aromas coming from that lovely can certainly are superb. That brings up something else I don't quite get. She has him bring yummy treats outside, but when I knock over the can to get at them, she seems awfully upset.

I'm not sure why I stay here. She gets all crazy and such. Anyway, I don't think she wants or likes me all that much. Oooooh! She's picked me up and placed on her lap. She's scratching my ears and rubbing my chin. Maybe I won't run away, till after a good long nap.