She was, no

She smiled up at me with her bright blue eyes that changed to grey and then to green
She stated I was not trapped in my self made prison
She insisted I had the key
My tears fell on her cheek, as she stared from the ground
Her laugh made my heart sing and her arms gave me strength

I called loud after three months
Come get me
Rescue me

She would not rescue me she said
But she came, friend in tow, and helped me pack my life
And move it back to the city with no stars

The friend moved out and I moved in
Three months we were happy
Three months we jelled before she realized how screwed up I am

Then six years of, what was it?
Vacations and bank accounts together
Cats each as to our own
But no contact, no meaningful exchange
No more hearing her sing me a song

I stayed in the city with no stars when she asked
Instead of moving to OKC
I thought that meant more than it did
And when I realized, I began to make plans to leave.

A weekend away to my parents house and a meaningful sermon by a old country preacher
I re-evaluated in a day what was important.
I began to see that she was important
She was my breath and my strength and my joy and my heart
She was the definition of all good in my life.

Now she’s gone.
My spirit is gone.
The good is gone.
I feel it blowing on the wind but can’t get hold.
And I’m here, in the city without stars, no strength, no joy, no heart, no song.
Sliding deeper into the darkness.
Sliding towards the light.