Without You

The tears well up in my eyes
My vision is blurred
Tightly screwing them shut
Trying to block the pain out
Upon opening, the water cascades
Rivers of tears streaming down my cheeks
I can taste their warm saltiness on my lips
Feel the droplets forming pools on my top
Your top - your jersey
My eyes sting
I wonder how there can be any tears left to cry
Surely there must be an end?
But this throbbing pain in my heart won't leave
An ache that can't be described
You left
You're gone
I watched you step onto that plane
Pressed my head against the glass
Screamed your name
As the tears streamed down
My breath fogging the window
Turning away
The hardest thing I've ever done
I felt every mile you moved away
For every second the distance between us grew
A tear rolled down my face
You brought happiness into my life again
And on that cold early August morning
Snatched it away
Only darkness surrounds me now
An empty, lonely, silent, nothingness
A pain so sharp and never-ending
You told me to be happy
To smile
How?
Didn't you see what was coming?
I warned you
I knew
This 'thing' was always there
The moment you left
My protector, my Prince
It attacked
Back after so long
More fierce that before
Less forgiving
Without you to chase them away
My demons take control
Hearing your voice didn't help
It made them stronger
Worse
I don't know what to do
Without you here
I'm not me
How can I be?
You hold the key
It unlocks so much of me
A part of me is missing
Right there in the middle of my heart
I know that until 'that day'
The one where I'm back in your arms
I can never be whole
I can never be happy
I can never be me
Not without you