Yes, there is a God! (Chapter 2)

Yes, there is a God! (Chapter 2)

by Kat

Fourth grade. An apartment of our own. Momma at home. My brother Bob nearby. Yes, there is a God!

Just before I was to start fourth grade, I learned that we were leaving Grandma’s to live in a nearby town. “We’ll be living together again, as a family,” momma announced, during one of her last visits to see us at Grandma’s.

I couldn’t sleep for days! I wanted to hug the pigs and chase the chickens and ride my broom twenty-four hours a day. My heart could hardly hold the excitement I felt. I started singing a little louder when I listened to Uncle Snook’s records. Mostly though, I was glad that we were going to be with momma.

I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror. I wondered if I was pretty and whether or not fourth grade would be scary. I wondered if the other kids would like me. I wanted friends…friends who would visit me and invite me to visit them.

At this time, I didn’t know why we didn’t have a daddy. When I asked momma, she said, “Just tell people that your daddy’s dead.” I didn’t want to know what to tell people. I wanted to know what to tell myself.

I never asked that question again. It upset momma and I didn’t want to upset momma. After all, she told us that she had a bad heart and that being upset gave her pain in her heart.

We moved to our new home a few weeks before school started. I loved the apartment. It was on the second floor of a big white house with huge white columns across the front. I think they called it Colonial style. There were two apartments on the second floor, separated by stairs and a big wide hall. Our apartment had three rooms and a large screened-in porch. There were steps leading down to a huge yard from the porch and we had our own bathroom.

The front room in the apartment was our living room. It had a fireplace and a tall black desk with glassed-in bookshelves. This was my favorite piece of furniture in the whole world. There were two big lumpy chairs, a table with a lamp, a floor lamp and even a television set. Oh yes, there was also a radio on the table. I would sit for hours next to the radio listening to “The Shadow” and the “Grand Ole Opry”.

The middle room was our bedroom. There was a double bed against the wall where momma slept with my sister, Peggy. I slept by myself because I often wet the bed. I hated that I was ten-years-old and still wet the bed. Momma said that I would outgrow it, but I knew she didn’t like washing all those sheets.

The third room was a kitchen with a sink, table and chairs, stove, refrigerator and one cabinet with shelves for dishes and food. Beside the kitchen was our bathroom with the tub with claw legs, a sink and, of course, a toilet.

There were big metal curvy things that momma called radiators in every room. They were filled with water, which was heated by a huge furnace in the basement of the house. I liked sitting on those radiators when it was cold outside.

Even though Peggy was nineteen months older than me, momma arranged for her to be in my grade at school and for us to have the same teacher. This would make it possible for me to watch her if she had a seizure.

On the first day of school, I knew that I was in love. I was in love with my new book bag and everything inside it. I loved the smell of notebook paper and brand new crayons. I loved the feel of a pencil between my fingers. I felt excited looking at a blank sheet of paper…I just wanted to fill it up.

The other kids in my class stared at me and my sister. We weren’t twins but we were in the same class. We weren’t the same age either. I didn’t know how to explain these things so I didn’t.

One day, Peggy had a seizure at school. After that, some of the kids made fun of her. I learned how to “knock their blocks off” real fast. I was in trouble a lot.

As it turned out, I didn’t make many friends at school. Momma was at work when we got home from school and we had to stay inside the apartment until she got home. We did our homework, listened to the radio and watched Kate Smith on T.V.

The best day of the week was Saturday. The second best day was Sunday. On Saturdays, we were allowed to go to the movies. We had movie money and popcorn money from our allowances. If we bought candy too, we would not have money again until the next week. My favorite movies were westerns with Hopalong Cassidy. I also liked Gabby Hayes. On Sunday, we were allowed to go to the First Baptist Church. We went to Sunday School on Sundays and choir practice on Wednesdays.

One Sunday, I got baptized. That was the only time I remember momma ever coming to church with us. I was so proud! I was saved…cleansed from all my sins and I knew I had a lot of those. I promised God that I would never sin again. I didn’t keep that promise.

For Christmas that year, I got a Mickey Mouse watch. I loved that watch so much that I had to take it apart to see how it worked. Of course, it didn’t work after that and I didn’t get another watch until I was “old enough to take better care of it.”

After Christmas, momma said that I had to have my tonsils taken out. I had a lot of sore throats and having no tonsils was supposed to help. Aunt Avis went with me to the hospital to take care of me since she was a registered nurse. She said that I could have all the ice cream I wanted after my tonsils were gone. I guess that was true…problem was, I didn’t want any.

I had to do a lot of homework to make up for the school days I missed when I had my tonsils out. It was good to go back to school. I didn’t like being at home alone with my sister. I was afraid that she would have a seizure and it wouldn’t stop. I was afraid all the time.