A Blurb

A Blurb...

By Eric Zimmerman

In a small studio apartment tucked away in the back of a run down apartment complex in the heart of Oak Park. John sits, staring down the barrel of a Winchester twelve gauge which is propped on a worn out, green vinyl dinning room chair. A small piece of string tied to the trigger, and running around the back of the weapon, is held loosely in his numb hands. The darkness in the barrels mesmerizing, endless, eternal.

“You cross the line and there’s no turning back, Told the world how he felt, with the sound of a gat”, blares out of a boom box, sitting awkwardly on the kitchen counter as P.O.D. sings into deaf ears. The faces plastered on the dirty white walls, Cobain, Hendrix, and Tupac, look down upon the unfolding scene, never changing, never caring.

A single tear starts at the corner of Johns left eye, welling up, and then spilling out onto his cheek. Another starts to form, when he mutters, “Just like Kurt”, and gives a tug on the string. The Winchester starts to fall awkwardly to the left side of the chair, its deadly discharge hitting John on the right side of his head. The twin lead slugs from the double aught shell tear through skin, and shatter bone, spraying the non caring picture of Jimmy with a heavy dose of blood, hair, and pieces of brain matter.

John’s body is thrown violently back and to the right, the remains of his skull hitting the corner of the kitchen counter, causing an injury that, considering the circumstance, means nothing at all. His right arm, flailing up and out in a mindless gesture, knocks the radio off the counter and on to the floor where it breaks into a useless pile of plastic and parts, silencing the ongoing droning of P.O.D. in the process. His legs kick out, striking the green, vinyl kitchen chair, sending it spinning and falling back away from him.

The small room falls quiet as John’s body, sprawled out on the floor, twitches in the final throws of life. A growing puddle of blood and gore, spreading out from the jagged hole in his skull will forever stain the mottled brown carpeting. The only sound is the weak, sporadic thump of his dying heart as it slowly dies with the rest of the body….

Thump…....thump

A non-descript warehouse in West Sacramento. Inside John is doing his menial labor job, making barely enough to keep from being homeless, when his supervisor pages him up to the front office. Once there the supervisor tells John they’re going to have to let him go. The reason he gives is that it’s the slow time of the year, and they have to let somebody go, and John’s the one. John pleads his case, but it fall’s upon deaf ears as the decision has already been made.

Thump…………………thump

Jenny’s a nice girl, long brown hair, big brown eyes, a little on the big size, but that was ok. She’s in love with John, and he likes her well enough, after all she would give it up to him whenever he wanted and that made her attractive to him. Then on one fateful, rainy winter day, sitting in Jenny’s bedroom, on her little pink bed, surrounded by dozens of brightly colored stuffed animals, she tells John she’s pregnant. She tells John that she loves him. She tells John that she wants to be with him. John tells Jenny he doesn’t want any of this. John tells Jenny never to call him again. John turns and leaves and never looks back. Later John realizes Jenny’s the best thing he has going for him, but he realizes it just a little bit too late.

Thump…………………………...thump

A dusty little pullout next to the Sacramento River. John, his best friend Rich, and Clair are all there just like every Friday night. They are smoking a little bud and drinking a lot of Bud, Creed blaring out of the speakers of Rich’s red, 68 Barracuda, his pride and joy.

John loves Clair, probably always has, but he has never been able to tell her. Oh they have had their share of “messing” around, but it has always just been about having fun, nothing more. It probably started back in the fifth grade when they played their first game of you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

On this night everything is about to change though. John is going to find out that Rich, his best friend, and Clair, his true love, are now together. John takes a swing at rich, and does some yelling at Clair, and all in one night, he forever loses his best friend and his true love.

Thump…………………………………………………thump

A nice middle class home, in a nice middle class neighborhood. It’s John’s parent’s house. He’s sitting on the overstuffed, uncomfortable couch in the living room. His Mom is sitting opposite of him in the matching chair, she’s crying. His Father is standing to her right side, his hand on her right shoulder, a sign of comforting.

They have just confronted John about the marijuana they found in his room. At first he denies it, then he shifts the blame, and then he runs out of excuses. He says some things that he doesn’t mean but will haunt him for the rest of his life. Then his father does the same and throws him out of the house, for what will turn into the rest of their lives…




Thump………………………………………………………………

John and Clair, the fifth grade, behind the gymnasium. Clair lifts her pink top, revealing her small, still developing breasts…

Rich and John, barely fifteen. Rich has a can of Coors from his dad’s garage refrigerator. It’s warm, but it still gives them the first buzz of their lives….

John’s parents, sitting in the front row, watching their only son graduate from high school. His mom has tears of happiness in her eyes. His father, looking prouder then John has ever seen…

The passenger seat of Johns 1970 Chevy Nova, John slowly inserts himself into Clair; it’s the best and most awkward two minutes of his life….

Jenny and John, walking along Front Street in Old Sacramento, Jenny’s hand slips into Johns, and John feels real love in his heart for the first time…

………………………………………………………………………………

John’s body, lying in its final awkward position in an ever growing pool of its own bodily fluids, finally releases the final tear. It slowly crawls its way down Johns left cheek, making its long journey to the puddle of waste below, where it will be forever lost, wiped away and discarded with the rest of what once was John.



Epilogue…

On local television sets all over the viewing area, news anchor Walt Gray adds this to the newscast at 6:47am, if anyone is interested?

“A body, found in the Trinity Oaks apartment complex in Oak Park, is the victim of an apparent suicide. John Smith apparently took his own life with a single gunshot wound to the head, at approximately 11:30 last night. A suicide note the police found in the residence said simply; I’m sorry for screwing up everything, I’m sorry.”

“And in other news, San Francisco Giants slugger Barry bonds……….”