The Bus Stop

The Bus Stop

For the casual observer, many might conclude that little Daniel Omori Mahoney grew up just like most other children in America. He lived in a middle class neighborhood; his parents were middle class working folks, the local University was only a mile from his home. Daniel was considered tall for his age; his hair was jet-black, his slender frame and brown eyes exuded a certain curious yet gentle spirit. His mother, Shegako, was an American of Japanese decent, second generation (Nisei). This may be what she was, but when asked, she would never have made that distinction. She would have told you she was an American, just an American and that was it; that was enough. Her side of the family had all been through the Japanese internment camps of World War II, they never spoke much about those darker times; they were buried in the past, forgotten like the age-stained letter of apology from President Ronald Regan that hung in a prominent place on grandmother’s wall until the day that she died. The girls were left behind with grandma and grandpa, while the three boys volunteered to serve in the U.S. Army and go to Europe to fight the Germans. Had the family been U.S. citizens of a different nationality, preferably an ethnicity that was not so easily distinguishable; things might have been different. Nevertheless, fate is a curious thing, the German citizens remained free; the Japanese Americans were rounded up and put into camps. Though this ordeal was a taboo subject, and most Japanese just wanted to put it all behind them, the scars that it left behind were all too real. Daniel’s mother would not buy a Japanese car; the old faded silver Buick in the driveway spent more time in the shop then on the road, however, it was a testament to that often-misguided desire to try and prove her patriotism.

Daniel’s mother, Shegako, graduated from U.C. Berkley and had a master’s degree in education. She devoted herself to teaching children at a local elementary school, she was the first Japanese school teacher in her district. It was her fervent belief that getting a proper education was of the utmost importance. Shegako spoke fluent English, Japanese, and Spanish. Daniel expressed a desire to learn Japanese, however, his mother insisted that he master English first. Naturally, he was not able to meet his mother’s high expectations, so as a result he never learned much of any foreign language. Shegako constantly admonished Daniel, “You’ll never amount to anything if you don’t study hard and go to college”. Daniel’s father, on the other hand, was a direct contradiction to his mother’s words and she openly resented him for it. Russell had a degree in physical education from Furman University, however, rather than make use of his degree he chose to work on the Union Pacific Railroad as a common union brakeman. He was what Shegako referred to as an “unskilled worker”. Shegako made it perfectly clear that this choice of occupation was not to be looked upon as worthy of our future occupational aspirations. Regardless, Russell was a very good provider, in spite of his job not requiring a degree; he still managed to make significantly more money than Shegako did. This was always a subject of bitter contention, especially on paydays or at the Sunday dinner table.

Daniel had a younger brother who was two years his junior. Daniel, being the oldest son in a traditional family should have had distinct advantages, but for Daniel that was not the case. Instead, being the oldest meant being the test case for most of his mother’s well intentioned conservative social and overly zealous educational philosophies. After Daniel’s mother finally realized the negative impact they were having on Daniel, his younger brother Albert was able to escape the better portion of them. Daniel’s mother had a philosophy about school and she was quick to impart it to both her boys, especially Daniel. School was to be treated like a job, just like going to work. Good students went to school to learn, not to have fun. You therefore should aptly dress the part; jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes were not acceptable business attire. Black leather shoes, pants, a dress shirt, and a bow tie were the correct uniform for scholastic success. Failure was never an option; failure was a sign of weakness that not only disgraced the individual, but also reflected poorly upon the entire family. To bring shame to ones parents or family was an unforgivable sin. It did not matter to Shegako that no other parent in their right mind would dress their kid up the way she did, Daniel was to be different from the others. And noticeably different he was, poor Daniel stood out like a sore thumb and he may as well have had a giant red target taped to his back.

In the animal kingdom, predators single out the stragglers in a pack and Daniel found neighborhood bullies to be no different. For most children the trip to the bus stop in the morning was a mundane ritual, bereft of any extraordinary excitement. However, for Daniel this was not the case. Daniel had the misfortune of living on the same block as the neighborhood bully, Calvin Green. Daniel was predisposed to quickly becoming one of Calvin’s favorite victims. Calvin was a large pudgy kid with wiry brown hair and intense green eyes. He was considerably older than most of the other kids and his overtly cruel and sadistic disposition was legendary among his friends and foes alike. Calvin was committed to making Daniel’s life a living hell; he sought to accomplish this task in numerous ways, one of which involved the early morning trip to the local bus stop. Daniel’s part was simple, attempt to arrive at the bus stop without being beat-up or molested along the way. Calvin’s part was to intercept Daniel and torment him to the fullest extent imaginable, and if possible to make him miss the bus altogether. The mere effort of getting to the bus stop was a daily source of intense anxiety for Daniel. Some might have viewed this macabre challenge as some sort of harmless mischief, and had the consequences of failing the quest not been so severe, that may have been true. The fact was that this big kid Calvin was in the habit of harassing Daniel almost every morning. Some said that Calvin had been held back several grades, that very well may have been true, but for Daniel, Calvin was evil, a big mean formidable force beyond his control. Like clockwork, Calvin and a few of his lackey friends would show up each morning to wait at the end of the block, hoping to intercept Daniel on his way to the buss stop. It was a perverse game; they were the hunters and Daniel was the prey. Sadly, even most hunted animals had it better than poor Daniel; getting a brief respite with the changing of the seasons. Sadly, for Daniel, hunting season would last all year long. Daniel was fair game whenever and wherever he was unfortunate enough to cross their path. Daniel tried some of the obvious solutions, like leaving home thirty minutes early and going the long way around the block to get to the bus stop, but this tactic met with only marginal success. Once Craig and his lackeys became aware of this new strategy, they would simply resort to splitting up into smaller marauding bands. Timing was also extremely crucial, arriving too early meant ample time to work him over at the bus stop before the bus arrived. To evade Calvin’s minions and arrive at the bus stop just as the bus arrived was nothing short of a miracle, and miracles seemed in short supply for poor Daniel.

Daniel’s mother could not understand why Daniel was coming home with his clothes torn and his books, folders, and papers a disheveled mess. He tried explaining his dilemma to his parents, but that discussion did not go very well. Shegako’s solution was to immediately call the school principal and complain. Daniel’s father, on the other hand, had a solution that was much more traditional. The old time honored father son bully speech, “Son, you need to face up to that big old bully and punch him right in the nose, show him who is boss! Mark my words son, then he will respect you and leave you alone.” Unfortunately, you can only feign being sick for so many days. Mom’s call to the school also resulted in a temporary reprieve; they had a person come to the bus stop for a few weeks to make sure Daniel was not being molested. The second law of thermodynamics states that entropy is understood to represent a measure of the disorder of a system. Energy can be applied to increase the order of a system, however, after the energey is expended, the system will tend to revert back toward disorder again. Naturally, as soon as the person stopped coming to the buss stop, things reverted to a state that was even worse than before. To complicate matters, Daniel’s feeble attempt to punch Calvin in the noise one morning resulted in a gruesome new addition to Calvin’s repertoire of standard torments. Normally, Calvin would jump on Daniel’s back, smack him around a little, drag him to the ground, and take his backpack. Calvin would then systematically and methodically go through the packs contents throwing Daniel’s schoolwork into the water-swollen gutter, toss his books into the bushes, and then proceeding to either mutilate or take Daniel’s lunch items for himself. Sometimes, if Calvin was in an exceptionally foul mood, he would trip Daniel and push him down several times before demanding that he hand over any lunch money that he might have. After a while, Daniel was actually resided to his fate and it became routine. That was until that fateful morning Daniel decided to heed his father’s advice and try to fight back; then everything really took a turn for the worse.

Daniel had been preparing himself for this moment for over a week now and the only reason he was actually going to go through with it was because his father kept pestering him about it. Daniel could not escape his dad asking him if he had done something about that bully Calvin yet. Daniel’s father was relentless, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to let things rest or just forget about it. To make matters worse, Daniel’s dad bought him a pair of boxing gloves; he would spar with Daniel whenever he could, teaching him a few of the finer points about boxing. Daniel cried the first few times his father roughed him up a little, his father rebuked him and told him that he needed to learn how to be tough; how to cover up when he was being hit, how to jab a few times, and then bam – let the left hook fly to the opponent’s nose. It all seemed so easy, but Daniel held no false pretense about how the real encounter might go. Daniel played it over in his mind a hundred times, but even in during his worst nightmares he would not have been able to imagine what was going to happen next. Daniel saw Calvin coming down the street with Jeff, they spotted him and Calvin got that evil crooked grin of his. This morning Daniel was early, he was already at the corner bus stop before Calvin had made it to the end of the street. Whatever was going to happen next would at least take place in front of an audience of his peers. The elderly couple that lived on the corner, where the school buss stop was, had a hedge that skirted the sidewalk and continued around their entire front yard. This hedge was dense and covered with big thorns that resembled deer antlers. The bushes sap was a sticky milky white and at certain times of year the bush would be covered with tiny white flowers and bulbous pink melon-like berries. This morning was particularly cool, and when Calvin arrived at the corner, he immediately grabbed Daniel by his jacket hood and threw him roughly to the ground. The air echoed with the other kid’s nervous laughter. Daniel crawled to his knees, and clenched his fists trying to master his flight instinct and muster his fight instinct. He knew that whatever primordial rage he had must be channeled into this attack. Daniel screamed wildly and jumped to his feet, forgetting everything his father had taught him, he lunged desperately at Calvin’s throat. Things were transpiring in slow motion now and for a fleeting moment, Daniel thought he might have glimpsed the slightest glint of fear reflected in Calvin’s eyes, but then, as quickly as it appeared; it vanished and was replaced with unabashed rabid raging anger.

Daniel was never really sure of all the details of what happened next, however, the outcome was certain; Daniel found himself painfully and fully impaled deep inside the thorny shrub. Daniel couldn’t move, the thorns tore into his skin through his pants, another thorn tore at his eyelid and threatened to put out his eye. Daniel cried out in pain and despair, but there was no help and the laughter mocked him as he hung brutally suspended inside the innermost bowels of the sticker bush. Daniel started to cry, finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a strong hand firmly gripped his arm. Slowly, and meticulously Daniel was carefully extract him from his tomb of torment. Daniel looked up; it was the elderly man from the house. He eyed Daniel with concern and asked him what had happened. As Daniel was about to answer, he spotted Calvin’s face peering over the old man’s shoulder. Calvin was not displaying a look of concern; rather he wore a smirk of satisfaction interrupted by a curl of his upper lip followed by an ice-cold stare. To Daniel, Calvin’s message was perfectly clear, “You tell on me now and you die”. Daniel knew that Calvin was serious and fully capable of following through with any threats. Daniel stammered and finally ended up telling the man that he had accidentally tripped and fallen into the bush. Daniel apologized to the man for any trouble he had caused him and thanked him for getting him free from the bush. Everything seemed surreal and Daniel struggled to make sense of the events that had just taken place. The shock was gradually wearing off, but the pain was far from subsiding. Some of the other kids were now pointing at Daniel and had resumed their fits of laughter. Calvin was already busy kicking Daniel’s backpack into the street. Daniel looked at his bloody hands, the lump in his peripheral vision confirmed that his eyelid was noticeably swollen. Daniel’s jacket was badly torn in several places; thank God he had listened to his mother and wore it for the small additional measure of protection that it had afforded him. Daniel gingerly reached out and ran his fingers down his aching thighs, his pants were torn and damp, a little too damp he thought to himself. At that moment, to his horror, he looked down and realized that through his ordeal he had lost control of his bladder and wet his pants. The damp warmth was fast turning to a cold chill and the tears were streaming uncontrollably down Daniel’s face. He gathered his backpack out of the street along with what little dignity that he could and left Calvin and the other kids as he hurriedly limped away from the bus stop in route to the safety and solitude of his home. Unfortunately, for Daniel that was only the beginning of many an unpleasant encounter with Calvin and the bus stop sticker bush. The elderly gentleman had to pull Daniel out of that prickly shrub at least a dozen more times over the next few years. It was not surprising that eventually Daniel became a source of disgust and annoyance to that old man. Through it all, Daniel never attempted to raise a hand against Calvin again.

Daniel learned another important lesson early on; either continually going to someone for help because of a problem, or continually requiring help of someone because of a recurring problem - makes you the problem. Case in point, as you may have gathered Daniel was a favorite target at school for all kinds of mischief, so initially he would stay close to the playground director for safety and security. The woman that worked the playground was named Mrs. White, and at first, they got along marvelously. Daniel did all he could to gain her approval, he picked up trash; he collected the dodge balls at the end of recess for her, and did whatever else he could to help. Whenever Calvin or anyone else would threaten Daniel, he would run to Mrs. White. Initially, this arrangement was quite successful and even resulted in Calvin being sent to detention. Daniel paid dearly for it later, but it was worth it. Daniel could not put a finger on the specific time, but he noticed that gradually his relationship with Mrs. White began to sour. She began to avoid him on the playground, when he would tug at her sleeve to get her attention she would rebuke him and tell him she was busy. Then one gloomy winter day Mrs. White knowingly abandoned Daniel, right when he was in obvious trouble, she turned her head and walked off the other way. Daniel had tasted the bitter bile of betrayal; after all the trash he had picked up, after all the playground equipment he had collected for her, and in the end it all amounted to nothing. Well, at least he still knew all the ladies in the office, especially the nurse Mrs. Gable, and the principal Mrs. Hanson. When Daniel would get beat up pretty good, which was quite frequently, Mrs. Gable would give him candy and if he wet his pants Mrs. Hanson would drive him home to get a change of cloths. They had spare clothes in the office, but they didn’t have any spare pants that were Daniel’s size. One day Mrs. Gable introduced Daniel to a nice man, his name was Dr. Frank. Dr. Frank asked Daniel all kinds of questions; he liked to listen to Daniel’s stories. Eventually, Dr. Frank met with Daniel’s parents and recommended that Daniel be sent to see a specialist. Daniel’s mom took Daniel to see several doctors; they put him in special education classes at school and even discovered that he had a problem with his feet. Daniel was forced to wear special black Patton leather corrective shoes with giant steel caps over the toes to improve his condition. Daniel didn’t understand why he had to wear special shoes or go to special education classes apart from the other kids. Daniel felt like an outcast, a freak; he was teased and ridiculed now more than ever. Daniel withdrew into his work; he discovered that he liked to draw; it was more of a doodling actually. When he was drawing he was free, he could create whatever he wanted. His drawings would become his reality.

Something else was happening to Daniel, there was a growing frustration building inside him. That frustration festered and came to a head in his third grade year when the specialists recommended that he be held back a grade in school. Now, it would have been difficult to criticize Daniel’s performance solely based upon his grades; his grades were good, but instead they went after his Achilles heel – his apparent inability to adapt socially. They said he was not emotionally ready to move on to the next grade and that he was markedly immature when compared to the other children. I guess maturity was somewhat defined by which side of a bully’s fist you ended up on. Daniel was more than willing to accept and interact with his classmates; his peers just weren’t willing to accept him. Daniel begged and pleaded with his mother not to allow them to hold him back, but it was no use. She always listened to the specialists; she never listened to him. They condemned him to dwell in that most lonely place, an in-between hell, that purgatory that only those who are held back could possibly know. Alienated by his old classmates, a pariah to the new, he belonged to neither group. Daniel’s world was turned upside down, he had no anchor, and his very existence was a shadow summarized by that one most retched word, “Flunker!” He heard their jeering even when he closed his eyes, there was no escape from the torment. He was haunted by their twisted faces, their tongues wagging, their mouths forming the words, “flunker, flunker, flunker, flunker!”

Then one day a group of them surrounded him at recess and starting their incessant chanting. Daniel desperately tried to move away, but they followed him. Daniel pleaded for them to stop, but that only spurred them on even more. He closed his eyes and covered his ears, things began to spin, something inside him audibly snapped. Daniel opened his eyes wide and clinched his fists; he let out a blood curdling guttural scream. He reared his head back and kicked the nearest tormentor. He howled with pain and fell to the ground, he kicked a second, and then a third, until the rest of them started to flee in panic. Daniel’s temples were pounding; he could not see straight, all that remained were writhing bodies laying on the blacktop grabbing at their shins. They reminded Daniel of fish out of water, flopping about aimlessly on the pavement. The steel-capped toes of his special shoes were good for something after all. From the corner of his eye, Daniel could see Mrs. White running toward him blowing her whistle. She grabbed Daniels arm roughly and shook him as she yelled, “What on earth has gotten into you?” She hauled Daniel briskly off to the principles office where he tried his best to explain what had happened. While he sat and waited to see Mrs. Hanson the magnitude of what had taken place started to sink in. He was in trouble, as usual, but this time things were different; this time he was not the victim. Daniel felt strangely empowered; people were looking at him differently for the first time in his life. One of the other special education kids saw Daniel sitting in the office; he gave Daniel the high sign and a toothy smile that extended from ear to ear. Daniel waved back and smiled, the word had evidentially already gotten around about what had happened on the playground earlier in the day. In the special education group, Daniel was nothing short of a god. He had done what many of them had only dream about, just retribution had been dealt out - if only that once. It was the stuff of legends and the stories of his deeds that day incrementally grew. Unfortunately, glory usually comes at a cost and Daniel would pay dearly for his short-lived moment of glory. Mrs. Hanson, the principle, called Daniel’s mom at her school where she was teaching; she had to leave work to come and get him to take him home. Daniel was being suspended from school. When Daniel’s mom arrived, she gave him an ice-cold stare and went directly in to talk to Mrs. Hanson. When she finally came out, she was still in the middle of apologizing profusely for Daniel’s untoward behavior. She yanked Daniel out of the chair he was sitting in and half walked, half dragged him to the car. She plopped him roughly into the front seat and wordlessly started the car and headed for home. Daniel knew she was really mad, she didn’t speak at all for the entire trip home; mom would just periodically glare in his direction, but she didn’t say a word.

When they arrived home, Daniel’s mom got out of the car and stormed inside. Daniel sat alone in the front seat of the car for a while, but he knew he would have to go in eventually. Daniel tried to come in quietly, somehow hoping his mother might not know
he was there. No such luck, there she was, hands on her hips waiting for him. “What do you think you were doing embarrassing me like that? We didn’t bring you up to behave like that, you were a complete and total disgrace. I am a teacher for god sakes, what will the other teachers think if I have a son who misbehaves like that. Is this what I get after all that I have done for you, fighting with other students at recess! Acting like some barbaric ruffian, like some, some, shameful bully!” Her mouth continued to move, but the word “bully” echoed in Daniel’s mind and immediately conjured visions of Calvin; Daniel started drifting off. Calvin had suddenly disappeared after they held Daniel back in third grade; some say he went to juvenile hall for stealing a Sparklets water bottle full of coins from old man Harriman’s front porch. Daniel could not really say that he missed Calvin all that much, however, subliminally, Daniel’s mind raced to put together some other pieces of information that he had previously overlooked. Then it struck him, Calvin had been held back also! Could his being a bully, and all his meanness be related somehow to his being held back? Daniel wondered. Suddenly a sense of profound sorrow and pity overcame Daniel; though he felt no deep connection with Calvin, the fact was that Calvin was a flunker too. Calvin was a flunker and Calvin was a bully. Daniel woke from this realization as his mom shook his arm, her face was inches away from his saying, “Are you listening to me young man! Am I making myself perfectly clear?” She grabbed Daniel by the ear and started to twist it, Daniel fought the pain and tried his best not to flinch, but this only made things worse. Exasperated, she pushed Daniel down the hall and yelled for him to go to his room; she slammed the door closed behind him.

Daniel climbed into his bed and pulled the sheets over his head. At least in here he was safe, he could control what was going on, nobody could hurt him here. Daniel pretended he was invisible; he listened to his breathing gradually slow as his mind slowly drifted off. He dreamed of walking to the bus stop, something he had not done for quite some time now. His frustration was escalating as the morning fog was getting dense and Daniel was struggling to recognize any familiar landmarks. Voices mocked him from the shadows, but his tormentors would not show themselves. The strange emotions that he had felt earlier in the day started to flow forth again. Daniel’s face grew hot and he clinched his fists; he did not want to be a freak anymore, he did not want to be beat up ever again, he did not want to be teased or called names. He would not ever let it happen again, he was bigger than they were now. After today, things would be different; he would make them stop. Then out of the mist a stout figure congealed, his jacket hood pulled partially over his face, standing defiantly in Daniel’s path. Daniel could not see his face, but Daniel knew exactly who it was; it was Calvin. Daniel lunged forward intending to make good with what he could never do before. He remembered everything his dad had told him and his punch connected with a sickening thud. Calvin’s still form lay prostrate at Daniel’s feet. Daniel cautiously crouched down and pushed the hood back from Calvin’s face, but the face was not Calvin’s at all, the face was his!

Suddenly, the door burst open and the bed sheets were torn from his face. It was his mother again, round two was about to begin. “Tomorrow you will apologize to those boys and to Mrs. White and to Mrs. Hanson, do you understand me?” Daniel didn’t answer so she grabbed his ear again and started to twist it. Daniel yelled out, “I won’t, I won’t apologize – ever!” Then it was like a dam had broken and a flood of pent up words and emotions burst forth. Daniel’s mother was not prepared for what happened next, she was so shocked she wasn’t sure exactly what she should do. Daniel could not remember all the exact words, but he let her know that she had made him into some kind of freak. Daniel told her that she was the source of his torment at school. He told her that he wanted to dress like the other kids, that he wanted to wear blue jeans and tennis shoes like the rest of them. He told her he wanted to be in the regular classroom again and not in special education. Daniel expressed his disdain for the specialists and their stupid recommendations. Daniel told her he would never be teased or beat up again. He told her that he had tried to be good like she told him, but it didn’t work. All he got in return was pain and torment; there was no one to help him – no one! Daniel would never forget the peculiar look on her face, Daniel’s mom was stunned, she was in shock, she did not know what to say. She slowly backed away from Daniel and quietly closed the door. Daniel lay there staring at the ceiling feeling his heart pounding a hundred miles a minute. He dosed off eventually, and when he woke, the room was dark and the house was quiet. Daniel could see the hallway light was on from under his door. Daniel’s dad was home now; they were both talking in hushed tones in the living room. Daniel couldn’t make out what they were saying, but he knew they were talking about him. Daniel heard footsteps coming down the hall toward his door. The door opened and the light from the hallway came flooding into his room. He could see his dad’s silhouette filling the doorway. His father came over to his bed and crouched down next to him. He put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder and casually remarked, “Your mom’s pretty upset with you right now son, she says that you got in a fight with a couple of kids today at school. What do you have to say about that?” Daniel’s dad wore a strange expression that he couldn’t quite read. “Nothing dad”, Daniel said. “I am sorry mom had to leave work to come get me from school today.” Daniel’s dad nodded and his face softened slightly, “Get some rest now son, we will talk in the morning.” Daniel’s dad patted Daniel on the shoulder and his large frame eclipsed the hallway light as he left. The door closed firmly behind him and the room was once again reclaimed by the darkness; that is except for the small golden crescent of light at the bottom of the door.

That day marked a new beginning for Daniel. After he came back to school from being suspended, he was removed from the special education classes. Daniel threw his corrective shoes away and wore tennis shoes to school for the first time in the fifth grade. Latter, he was able to wear blue jeans and tee shirts just like the other kids. Daniel always had a soft spot for those who were deemed social misfits and outcasts. He went out of his way to come to their aid whenever he could. Daniel never saw Calvin again, and the trials of his elementary school years slowly faded, replaced with happier memories of High School and then College. The house and the corner bus stop where Daniel grew up are still there, but the sticker bushes are gone, along with the elderly couple that used to live there. A young couple with several small children lives there now, they don’t have the slightest clue about everything that transpired on that corner in front of their house. Even so, the lessons of those early years still linger on with Daniel; they have had a profound influence on him. He cannot help but remember when he sees the children lined up waiting for the school bus in the morning; the memories are an inseparable part of the man that Daniel has become.