Panic

PANIC, PANIC, PANIC...

The RUSH comes on like a flood, transporting me into a world so unfamiliar and frightening

The gripping slowly begins

Where has my breath gone?

The dryness can't be quenched

Sight once sharp is now a fog that teeters on reality and a nightmare

The heat begins to rise, breath evades me

Steps become weakened, heavy and that of putty

Hands shaking, palms moist

Heartbeat screaming deep in the throat, pounding and pounding like a drum of war

Give me AIR..I cannot breathe

Give me water, my thirst is beyond measure

Trembling flesh meets the rapid beat and I need to run or cry or I will certainly die

I don't want to die! Let me go! Go away!

Where am I....How do I escape...I know in my mind's eye this will pass and I will regain my sanity

HELP, make it stop!

Yet in the grip of this demon I am frozen, lost , separated from my real self

Is this reality or a figment of my imagination

When will it stop ? How much of me will it take this time?

Muscles ache, focus is shifting into a state of terror that has no explanation,. no foundation, no reason

Run, run to safety, but where is safe ?

Safe should be within myself, yet when the beast holds me, I cannot get free

I need to run from this beast and I do, frantically to my safe place, my safe voice

But, the demon is in some small fragment of my mind that misunderstands circumstance and tricks me into this which holds me.

My intelligence demands to be released, yet my vulnerablity allows this beast to take control

I hate this, hate the limits of my life, the unfulfilled dreams and the freedom most take for granted.

This is NOT me, it is a part of me that sends the wrong message and my body is taken over.

How do I escape? Why me ? What have I done ?

Creativity lost, freedom stiffled, dreams shattered

How do I tell the demon to leave ?

Set me free, allow me to live for the first time in so many years

The Demon is Fear itself!

Fear of the fear...

Release me and allow my dreams to come true

Let me go home!

Rose Marie Patricia Contala - Copyright©2000