Tree Wars

Disclaimer: I own all of this story. Even the newest characters: Oscar, Ania, Brian, and Akshay.

Tree Wars: The Accidental Meeting Between Old Rivals

“Eh…” Daniel had never felt this… odd. He couldn’t describe it. But then, he recalled, he could never describe ANYTHING.

He glanced at his reflection in the mirror quickly. “Hmm?” Something caught his attention. He didn’t look the same. Any regular person would’ve noticed something wrong immediately, but Daniel wasn’t a regular person. His I.Q was lower than average.

Ooh… Me is wrinkly! He didn’t panic. Even his thoughts were blank. He glanced at himself once more. His hands were all wrinkly. He had a stubble on his chin. And his back hurt something bad.

How did this happen? Daniel suddenly remembered! “Ooh, it was the drink!” But how? I mean, how could a mere drink turn Daniel into an old man? “Me was thirsty! So me took drink and drink!”

Yep, that was Daniel. No doubt about it. However, his appearance was quite different. He laughed maniacally. “Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“Shut UP down there!” The scary person next door threw a shoe at Daniel; Daniel retaliated by burping in that direction.

When Daniel realized that the neighbor didn’t notice his burp, he flew into a rage. “Roar! GRRR…” It was a scary sight, and Daniel was no longer a stupid little boy: He was an old monster.

As you may have realized, Daniel had drank a potion. What you probably didn’t guess, was that this potion, made by Daniel’s uncle, was meant for trees to grow faster. That’s why it made Daniel age until… you know. Trees don’t grow faster unless they age faster. Why this potion made Daniel feel as if he must create a war, we don’t know.

It was a black night. Oscar cursed at himself for walking all alone in the dark. He was going back home from a birthday party. He should have accepted his friend’s offer.

Flashback

“Do you want me to walk you back home?” Han’s eyes were round as he asked.

“No, it’s fine. I can walk back home. It’s only a few blocks away.”

“Are you sure? It’s cold and dark out there. And my dad threw a shoe at our neighbor because he wouldn’t shut up. You know what that old neighbor did?” His voice had lowered to a whisper.

“What?” Oscar wasn’t scared of ghost stories anymore.

“He stalked my dad!” Han looked distressed for a moment, then he turned back to Oscar. “Well, good luck out there.”

Oscar shivered as he left.

End of Flashback

Suddenly, Oscar felt a strange presence near him. It was a human presence, but when he turned around, he saw two yellow eyes glinting at him.

“BOO!” It was a crazy old man! Oscar sighed. He shouldn’t have. The crazy old man’s eyes flashed. “Come. You good. Me bad. You help me, me give half world to you.”

Oscar knew he shouldn’t go over to strangers. But he was frightened of this crazy old man. Every now and then, this man would mutter under his breath, “Me Daniel.”

Finally, they arrived to Daniel’s house. Daniel nodded at Oscar. “You name.”

“What?” Oscar was confused. What did he mean?

“You name. You name is something. Me no know you name! Give me you name!” Daniel looked hysterical.

“Oh. My name.” Oscar understood.

Daniel snorted impatiently. “Yes, you name! What you name is?”

“Oscar.”

“Good. Oscar, you young. You smart.” Daniel pointed at a chair, and Oscar sat down. Daniel was watching every single move Oscar made, so Oscar was very uncomfortable.

“Um… Excuse me? What is this supposed to be about? I mean, I enjoy flattery, but if you want a favor from me, don’t try to conquer me with that. This has to be quick, because my parents are probably worried sick at home.” Oscar was itching to run back home, but Daniel had barred the door.

Daniel glared at Oscar. “Excuse you! Me talking, you no in-tear-rip (interrupt)! Me no understand what you talk, but me smart!”

Oscar was really tempted to get away from here now. First he said I was smart, now he’s saying he’s smart. He’s really confusing, Oscar thought.

Daniel relaxed visibly. “Good. Now me explain.

“Me was young boy. Just young as you. But me drank green juice and go old. Now me supposed to start war. Me no remember why. But me know me have to be with trees. Huge trees!” Daniel stretched his arms up to show what he meant.

“So,” he continued. “Me thought up good plan. You be bad with me, and me give you half world. Me will go against two kids. They name is Kevin and Erin. They good. We bad. Bad is good. They hate trees, I think. So we attack with trees! Me uncle make good drink. But, me no want old. Me want young again! So, you go get me uncle’s stuff, and free me!”

Oscar felt sorry for Daniel. Daniel looked very crestfallen at realizing exactly how old he was.

“That sounds good, Daniel, but it has many flaws. First off, what if this "Erin and Kevin" like trees? They’d side with trees too! I simply don’t understand. Why would we attack them? Why would we need an army of trees? Trees can’t attack! And, why would we want to be bad? No one is insane enough to want to be bad!” Oscar paused for a minute. “Sorry, Daniel. You’re not insane. You’re just crazy.”

“Sorry is right!” For once, Daniel spoke correct grammer and everything. His eyes were blazing. “You stupid! Me smart! Listen, for me explain!

“We attack Erin and Kevin because they hate me. And we dump drink in they water! And in they too! And they!”

Oscar finally understood. He gasped, knowing the evil in this plan. “You mean we’re going to dump that potion in everyone’s water? That’s horrible! They’d all be old, and they’d be weak, and they’d probably die!”

Daniel looked happy. “That the plan!”

Suddenly Daniel straightened up as if he felt something. “Oscar, you put on earmuffs quick!”

Oscar looked at Daniel, puzzled, and Daniel shoved earmuffs toward Oscar. “Now me shall hip-not-is (hypnotize) you!” He made sure Oscar’s ears were covered before continuing.

Daniel smiled happily. Oscar could not hear, but he instantly relaxed once he realized Daniel was smiling. Daniel also had a thumbs up sign.

Now why would Daniel do that? Daniel’s mind was made up of junk, so he couldn’t remember important stuff, like how to talk normally, good manners, or even thumbs up or thumbs down! What I mean is that Daniel got mixed up between thumbs up and thumbs down. He thought that thumbs up meant bad and thumbs down meant good.

“You is smarter than I ever is. You follow what me say, or me kill! Me kill!” Oscar couldn’t hear Daniel, but still seeing Daniel’s thumbs up and smile, he assumed Daniel was telling him something good. He smiled back and politely nodded, pretending to follow along.

Daniel smashed a candy dish on the ground, and some candies fell out. “Me will kill like this!” Poor Oscar, out of manners, picked each candy and gave them back to Daniel.

“Follow what me say! Keep one candy!” Daniel opened his palm and Oscar thought that Daniel wanted him to have one. He took one, and nodded his thanks.

“Good… Now this what you do now…” Daniel took off Oscar’s earmuffs, and whispered in Oscar’s ears. And that is how an innocent young boy got caught in Daniel’s wrath.

“Aw… What a bright and cheery morn!” Erin looked over at Kevin who was yawning sleepily.

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Kevin agreed.

Erin leaned back happily. “No more Daniel Li! Do you know what happened to him? Rumor has it that he died!”

“True, but we don’t know for sure. Besides, shouldn’t we at least pretend we’re sad?” Kevin asked casually.

“Why? The trees seem so happy, swaying around! Besides them, there are no other living organisms.”

Kevin covered Erin’s mouth and hissed, “Shh! The trees can hear you!”

Erin laughed it off. “So? What are they going to do about it? Murder us? Ha!”

“Don’t you understand?” Erin studied Kevin’s expression, and to her surprise, he looked quite serious. “The trees hate you even though you love them!” He sighed impatiently.

“Look here: We’ve done a lot of bad things to trees. We killed them, and once we killed them, we use their bodies for fences, gates, huts, and ridiculous furniture! Now, to make things even worse, we dishonor their death by painting their body an unnatural shade of color! They’re swaying with sadness and anger and vengeance!” Kevin’s voice was getting louder and louder. Erin realized he had a point. “Oh…”

Kevin must have seen the expression on her face because he added, "Everywhere you look, you see dead wood. They’re too weak now, but they’ll get us back one day.”

The pair of them fell silent, and Erin shivered. They walked on quickly, trying to ignore the willow tree’s grasp of death on them.

Suddenly, a honey-colored hair girl with startingly grey-blue eyes stopped them in their path.

“Ania!” Erin gasped, remembering her classmate. “Mikola-uh...” She trailed off there.

“Don't even TRY to pronounce my last name! But that's beside the point.

"Erin, Kevin! This is urgent; you must try to save the humans from the trees! This is no fantasy or dream, this is real! We’ve chosen you to help us, because you had one too many adventures with Daniel!” A glint of amusement was in her eyes, but it faded away.

“Now, wait a minute… Who is ‘we?’” Erin took it upon herself to ask.

“Hey, isn’t that your little friends over there?” Kevin’s remark was true. There was Brian and Akshay. Brian was eating, and Akshay was studying an ant. However, unlike Ania, they were not panicking. They were relaxing visibly.

“Brian? Akshay?” Erin examined them carefully. None of them seemed to be hurt or abnormal, but for some strange reason, they didn’t seem to know the danger they were in.

“Mmm-wah-ha, mmm!” Brian’s mouth was crammed with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The pudgy Vietnamese boy crammed even more food in his mouth.

“What does that mean?” Erin directed her question toward Akshay.

Brian took a huge gulp of the food, and answered for Akshay. “What I meant to say, was that the trees were cool!”

“Uh… right.” Maybe they didn’t know what trouble they were in.

Ania glared at Brian. “You are ruining the dramatic effect, Brian! Trees are NOT cool! They are about to kill us! You call that cool?” Now that was a good speech.

“Wah! Mm-ha-wah!” Brian had taken another huge bite of sandwich.

“Do you know what he just said now?” Erin asked both Ania and Akshay, but this time Akshay replied.

“It means ‘Yeah, what Ania said about the dangerous trees!’” Akshay's dark skin contrasted with the background scenery. It looked eerie when the trees swayed along with his dark hair.

Ania was beginning to look pissed off now, so Erin and Kevin decided to leave. “Right, now what are we supposed to do again?”

“Umm…” And the heroic characters were left for the rest of the afternoon to wonder how, when, and where they were supposed to attack.

Oscar was standing over a huge pot. “Harrumph. If I fail, Daniel has to do it. He thinks he’s hot, but he is NOT!” He paused in the middle of the stirring, and looked at the ingredients. “Why would I need Goldfish snacks? That is a strange ingredient for the Forever-Aging Curse/Blessing!” He pouted for a minute, then poured the whole content of Goldfishes in. “Good fishy, swim!” And this innocent young boy cackled. How different he was from the clumsy youth in the beginning.

“Hey, Kevin!” Erin whispered, trying to get her companion’s attention. Her partner-in-crime turned around.

“What?”
“I think something’s really fishy around here. I don’t think Daniel declares war on us because of something he forgot. I think he’s declaring war on us because the trees hate us.”

“So what?” Kevin was too busy to look at Erin full in the eye. He was fiddling around with a weapon, fingering each one with longing, then putting them back to test a better one.

“Well,” Erin hesitated. “Um, I think Daniel likes that drink, and he has the brains to at least know that if the trees are his allies, they will help him. And if they help him, they will get that drink for him, and he will turn young again!”

Kevin gasped, only to say, “That’s horrible! That sounds too smart for him!”

Erin snapped at him, “That’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point?” Kevin retorted.

“Eh…” Erin glanced around. “Er... The point is… there is no point, okay?”

“Then why are we arguing? Let’s move on to a happier topic!” Kevin argued.

“Okay… Um, you start.” Erin’s thoughts raced as she tried to think of a good topic.

“Oh! I know a really good one!” Kevin jumped up. “Daniel wants to kill us!” This was followed by a short pause, interrupted by Erin.

“You just have to make this moment more dramatic, don’t you?”

“I guess.”

“Well, I found my weapon!” Erin fingered her staff. “Now let’s get cracking! We have to distract Daniel and that innocent boy from making that potion!”

“WAH-HA-HA-MUA!” A large cackle interrupted their conversation.

“Huh?” Erin and Kevin wondered in unison. They rushed over to find Oscar cowering on the floor, giving Daniel his potion.

Everyone watched in horror as Daniel started transforming. He grew bigger, then smaller, then tinier, until he was only a 9 year old boy.

Daniel roared.

“Me want KILL! Get tree fast, you Oscar boy, you get trees! Me shall take over world and kill!!! KILL KEVIN AND ERIN GIRL AND BOY!!!”

“Well, that’s not good,” Erin said calmly. She was panicking, but usually when people panic, they get calmer than usual. Unlike Kevin.

“LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!”

“And where exactly is here?” Erin asked, looking around. “How did we get into Daniel’s secret laboratory?”

What was really strange was the fact that Daniel did not notice them at all, even though they were standing exactly 10 inches from him.

“Hey, you get me food, or me kill!” Daniel was getting used to threatening people now. He just happened to notice Erin and Kevin.

“Daniel…”

“Shut UP! ME in control, so ex-CUSE ME!”

Daniel waddled up to the pot. “Me make more potions so people get old! Me is smart.”

Erin and Kevin watched Daniel as he started giggling uncontrollably like a schoolgirl. “Hee, hee, hee, heh…”

He threw in an ornament, and leaned in the pot to put his smelly breath in. “Yuck!” Erin exclaimed, but Daniel took no notice.

Finally Daniel threw in gold fish crackers. “Good fishy, you swim!” The same exact thing Oscar said.

“Daniel dude, are you just chucking in random things?”

Daniel finally looked up, and Erin knew that they had succeeded in distracting Daniel. Now all they had to do was get him away from making it.

But that was done in a few seconds. Daniel fled away, screaming and sobbing. “Well…” Kevin began. “Mission accomplished.” Erin finished.

Author's Note: Heh, I think this story is kind of... well, amusing. This is supposed to happen after the story "The Adventures of Kevin and Erin."