Lost at Sea

This could be it. Thee big one. The big wave.

Not as big as life and death and all that crap. Just big. I am a college student in my last year to become a teacher and my ship is all full of holes. All of my teachers are in a mad scramble to bucket out the rising water while my therapist tries to patch the damaged hull.

What's a guy to do? No one wants to see me go down, least of all me. Yet, I'm a captain frozen in panic. Or perhaps I am just staring out over the ocean trying to get a grasp on it. To find its depth, to hear the heart of the giant. But all I see is blue.

It's all blue. It's so fucking blue. Blue upon blue forever. How can you sail your whole life and never once look up from your compass? And when you finally do, you'll see the blueness of it all. It's sad and happy and familiar and strange and painful and calm and lonely all rolled into one color. All rolled into one horizon stretching in every direction. Going to sleep is like waking up. Crying is kind of like laughing.

It's four a.m. and it's due tomorrow.


Fine. . . I'll give it one more "What the fuck."

"Turn the rudder mates! The waves'll break on her bow. Bust out the oars and row like the dickens!"