deathbed trinkets

living in lust
dying alone in dreariness
color fades from my cheeks
ink dries
my self-portrait awaits
a late life cloudburst
of inspiration
pastel tear-fall
splashed onto a re-used canvas
ideas like mountains
frozen in the snows of hatred
uncontainable satanic verse
drowned in the waterfall of your inept
"thou shalt not love another man"
the meek inherit nothing
but the warts of disdain
certainly not your love
nor a single journal's entry
of unspoken pity…
and this dying man, chastised
bestowed a lifetime collection
of useless hundred dollar bills
in a blood-colored lacquered box
and a decade old suicide note
dear nephew

though you spurn me now
for my difference
will you accept my deathbed riches
the trinkets of my existence
after I have spoken my final prayers?
you also have grayed and wrinkled
yet what has life taught you
of love, forgiveness and tolerance?
will you now believe in my piousness
that my god has forgiven me
and welcomed me into eternity?



deathbed trinkets
1 december, 2006
[2006.1.12...b]