Value of Marmite and All Foods Black

Those who have never experienced the delectable delights of the black foods of the earth are truly missing one of the wonders of the world. Perhaps it isn’t in the culture of this “land of the free” to eat things that appear at first glance to be black. However, those cultures that have discovered the greatness of “black foods” have truly discovered a treasure!
The soft stomachs of the American people are turned by the thought of the German blood sausage. They would rather eat sausage that is pink and made of unknown substance, rather than having the ingredients given in the name. The idea of consuming blood is somehow sickening, but eating the parts of a pig rejected by butchers and stuffed into the popular “hot dog” is fine because one, it does not bare the ingredients in the title, and two, it is not black.
Spreading Marmite onto a sandwich and bringing it to school is also frowned upon! How could a person eat something that is so bitter and so… black. In fact, Marmite is not black. It is dark brown. Yeast extract is something worthy of glorification! Not only is it savory, but it only takes a little bit to get wonderful effect. Marmite spreads smoothly and goes well on sandwiches, crackers, cucumbers and fingers.
Growing up in the country that is responsible for the invention of jerky, Americans are not accustomed to the black saltiness of well made biltong. Jerky may be dark, but it still appears to be red - at least more so than biltong. Jerky is tough and the eater must expel an enormous amount of energy simply attempting to tear a sizable piece from the whole; he then has to spend oodles of time chewing before it is fit to swallow. Biltong, in all its black glory is easy to bite and does not take hours to chew.
Another black food that is little more accepted within the United States is the true licorice. However, there are many people who look at “black” licorice and instead turn to a substance they like to call “red licorice.” This so-called “red licorice” is not even made using the licorice plant! It is not rich and it does not last for any length of time. How could anyone deny the flavor of real licorice! This “red licorice” is an insult to all black foods and should either have its name altered, or should be pulled off the shelves to be replaced with the hardy black stuff!
Instead of being shunned, black foods should be spread throughout the world. They’ve already discovered its wonders in Europe, Africa, Australia… It is about time it was okay to stuff Marmite sandwiches into the faces of the population!