Should it be said?

I ran across an article the other day, written by someone who was supposed to be a well known writer for magazines and other literary pieces. I slogged through it in the hope that there would be something interesting, but all I can remember is one admonition he made. He was discussing dialog and made the statement that a writer should never use anything but the word said and never modify said with an adverb.

My first reaction was anger, my second was to close the page I'd been reading and my third was to wonder if he insisted that the only necessary veggies anyone should ever eat were potatoes, peas and corn.

While I agree that the word said is nice, and that of course if someone has uttered words, they've said them, the problem is that 'said' is bland. Let me give you an example.

Take this sentence:

"The dog just ran off with my pants!" the man said.

Notice that ! after pants? The man isn't standing there, just calmly uttering his sentence. He's excited. He might not be jumping up and down physically, but his voice almost certainly is. Does the word said as used in that sentence convey that to you? Did I paint you a good picture of how the man is acting, what he's thinking, how he feels about what just happened?

Now try these sentences:

"The dog just ran off with my pants!" the man fumed.
"The dog just ran off with my pants!" the man shrieked hysterically.
"The dog just ran off with my pants!" the man laughed, tears of mirth running down his cheeks.

Now what kind of image have I painted for you with each of those sentences?

The sad, unfortunate thing that is currently happening to writing and being spouted by all the experts, is that it is becoming bland. boring. Writers are being urged to use a toolbox that contains only one #2 pencil and a pink eraser. Anything else is unnecessary.

Remember one simple fact while you are writing. You are not just communicating, you are painting a picture. If you really want to paint one using only the primary colors of red, blue and green, that's your choice. Go right ahead. But if you want to paint a striking masterpiece with subtle shades and flowing lines, then my advise is to ignore the experts. The writers toolbox should be filled with various items, such as adjectives, adverbs, nouns, pronouns and so on. The writer should feel free to use any of them, in any way and at any time that he or she wishes to in order to paint the picture he or she can see. Take into consideration your audience and make sure you don't paint a picture they can't understand, but don't make it bland just become some "expert" doesn't like the use of a particular tool.