Why We Are Doomed--Pt. 1

From the beginning our country was populated by people who, for one reason or another, decided they'd had enough; they packed up their bags and said "See Ya!" and either boarded a ship or loaded up the wagons and took off down the trail for points west. It's part of our national heritage, our cultural DNA, the idea that you weren't stuck in one place, in one social or economic stratum, in one occupation, one category. You could change, you could seek your fortune on the frontier, redefine yourself... MOVE.

During the past month, I have been privileged to partake in this most fundamental of American rituals, and while I only relocated 30 blocks from my former neighborhood, in Brooklyn terms it's a continent away. Also, in the context of Brooklyn Real Estate, it's certainly the frontier; we'll see if the Yuppies catch up with us in a few years so I can sell to them again. But that's a different tale.

In this tale, we find our hero filled with the optimism of a fresh start, enthusiastically engaged in the process of dismantling one life and plugging in another. Several specific areas required attention, and I got down to cases a few weeks before the actual moving date. Accounts for the electric and gas companies needed to be closed, final readings scheduled, new accounts opened and startup readings also scheduled, hopefully in a way that would dovetail with the logistics of the actual move. The Post Office needed to be informed, of course, and a fowarding notice filed.

The Web has made this sort of thing nearly effortless; with only minimal difficulty I was able to locate the salient pages for each organization and filled out the necessary forms right in my home office. But while I love technology and the fruits of the digital age, I'm no sucker: Follow-up phone calls confirmed that all arrangements were as they should be.

Speaking of the Web, I needed to arrange for my DSL connection to be installed at the new address. Speakeasy's web site had a nice banner ad right there on the home page: MOVING? IT'S EASY. JUST CLICK HERE..." and so I did. By the end of the day I had confirmation notices that the arrangements were already in the pipeline. Gosh, maybe I wouldn't have to confront my internet addiction just yet.

There was also a satellite dish to move. Here, I was supremely confident. I'd seen the commercials for Dish Network; you know the ones, where the cool, confident service tech moves right along with the client, pops out of a box and has the game tuned in just as the moving van turns the corner. They offered to upgrade my service and equipment as well, so I was looking at a net win.

In our new home, as with our old, we are landlords with third-floor rental units. For our tenants we have a Sears stackable washer/dryer unit and an air conditioner on service contract, as well as several appliances of our own. Sears doesn't trust anyone else with their precious toys and so we made appointments for their service tech to first uninstall us from our old home, then come out when we had our new fixtures prepared and install the appliances in the new location. Frankly, I'd have been just as happy with Moe's Appliances down the street, but this is how Sears likes to do it, and that's okay by me.

Now, I say it's a new house, but that's only in the sense that we've never lived here before, so, yes, existentially you could call the entire experience "new." But it was built, like most houses in this area of Brooklyn, in or around 1900, and while it managed to remain in the same family for the entire span of its life, some things needed upgrading. Like the flattened lead water main coming into the house; like the ancient circuit breaker built by a company that went out of business because too many caught fire; like the dozens and dozens of things that all families typically endure and work around rather than repair because it's easier that way. So we were looking at a bit of refurbishing, and scheduled the various crews necessary.

The bulk of the repairs we entrusted to a contractor with whom we were personally familiar and whose work has proven to be flawless. For the water main, we used someone on a recommendation. His price was right, timing was right, it would be a one-day job and we'd be all set.

As moving day approached, we were brimming with optimism, anticipation and a sense that we'd taken care of all the things that could be taken care of. It was time to pack, and wait for the moving van.