The Princess and the Pea

By the time she reached the castle, she was drenched. Her normally wavy honey-coloured hair hung like matted yarn around her pale heart-shaped face. The long grey woolen cloak didn't offer much protection either. It clung to her curves like a wet membrane. She was a pitiful sight to behold.

Knowing this did not help her temper. It had, so far, been one of the worst nights in all of her seventeen years.

First, on her way to her grandmother's estate, her carriage had been stopped by a highwayman. The only reason she'd escaped a bullet to the head like her driver and handmaiden was the fact she'd fought back. She had the bruises to prove it. The ruffian hadn't planned on encountering a victim well-versed in martial arts. She escaped, leaving him bound and unconscious.

Forced to travel on foot, she had walked for miles. Then it began to rain. She'd been fortunate to see the castle on the hill and she made her way toward it.

Now she pounded on the heavy wooden door. The rain was still falling, which made her even angrier. After what seemed years, someone finally opened up.

A young guard stood there, gaping at her.

"Are you going to gawk like a fish at me all night or are you going to invite me in?!" She would have stamped her foot if she wasn't so miserable.

Finally the guard regained his senses. He blushed and stammered, "N-no my lady! D-d-do come in!"

She squished her way into the castle with all the dignity she could muster in her sopping wet slippers. An older woman bearing an oil lamp came toward her.

"Who are you and who let you in?" she inquired coldly. Her eyes swept over the young woman with distaste.

Of course this only caused her to bristle even more. She could take no more.

"I am Princess Miranda of Rosewood!! I was attacked by a highwayman and barely escaped with my life! Then I was forced to walk in the rain to seek shelter! Now I am to be treated like a commoner?! This will not do! I demand to speak with the master of this house!!"

The older woman looked taken aback by this display of temper.

"Well, Princess Miranda, if you really are a princess, you should have no difficulty proving it!" she retorted. "I am the Lady of this house. You will follow me. Please." Her voice dripped in barely veiled disdain.

Instead of arguing, Miranda followed the woman. Her fight was leaving her rapidly, reminding her how tired, cold, and wet she really was. They wound their way through the castle, finally arriving at a tower room.

The Lady of the house opened the door with a key fastened to her chatelaine and ushered Miranda inside. After the lamps were lit, she could see it wasn't a very large chamber. In fact, it seemed dwarfed by the enormous bed in the center of the room.

Miranda guessed the bed had at least twenty mattresses. They were piled nearly to the ceiling!

"You will sleep here for the night. In the morning, a maidservant will bring you breakfast. There are extra nightclothes in the chest at the foot of the bed," the older woman instructed.

By now Miranda was too tired to put up a fight. She watched the woman fluff up the mattresses a bit.

"Thank you," she told her gratefully as she left the room.

Wearily, she changed into a dry shift and then eyed the bed with curiosity.

"How am I going to get up there?" she asked herself out loud. The question answered itself as she soon spied a ladder on the other side of the bed.

She climbed up and lay down on the heap of mattresses. Trying to get comfortable, she rolled onto her side. Then her other side. She tossed. She turned. But something kept digging into her back.

Miranda had half a mind to get up and figure out the source of her discomfort. However, the other half of her mind was too tired. It won.

She was asleep in no time.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning dawned fair and bright. Miranda opened her tired eyes to clear blue skies. Birds were chirping merrily somewhere outside the tower.

Her back was killing her.

She got up slowly, making her way down the ladder. Moving like an old lady, she got dressed.

There was a knock at the door as she pulled on her slippers, now dry by the fireplace.

"Come in!" she beckoned.

It was the maid, bearing a tray laden with toasted bread, a bowl of porridge, and a steaming pot of tea.

"How did you sleep?" came a voice behind the servant. The Lady of the house swept into the room.

Miranda tried not to grimace as she sat down at the small table.

"Badly", she winced.

"Badly? Surely not! You slept on twenty mattresses! How could that be uncomfortable?" admonished the older woman.

"I felt as though something was poking into my back all night long", Miranda explained. She stirred honey and cream into her tea.

The Lady of the house looked overjoyed at her revelation. This mystified the young woman. Even more so when the lady rushed forward to embrace her!

"What are you doing?" Miranda sputtered in confusion.

"I had a feeling you were the One!"

"What do you mean, 'the One'? Explain yourself please!" she snapped. She felt there was a severe lack of communication going on.

The older woman grasped Miranda's shoulders and cried,"You're the princess we've been waiting for! What discomforted you under the mattresses was this!"

She rushed over to the bed and pulled out a small object, holding it so Miranda could see.

It was a dried pea.

"That was why I couldn't sleep? A stupid little pea?! It felt like a cannonball!" By now, she was fairly roaring with anger. Her hair, now dried, stood out in unruly clumps about her head. She was sure she looked a fright, but now she was past caring.

But before she could say more, the older woman said,"Then you've passed the test, my dear! You have no idea how many 'princesses' we've trialed over the years. Now that we've got you, you can break the spell!"

"Spell? What are you on about? I'm not here to break any spell! I only wanted a place to stay the night. I think I need to be going now", she said, edging her way towards the door. Before anyone could stop her, she snatched up her cloak and dashed from the room.

Although her body ached something fierce, she ignored the pain. She had to get out of this madhouse!

"Stop her!" came a cry from behind as she rushed down the stone stairs.

Miranda picked up the pace by grabbing her skirts higher when she heard the running footsteps gaining on her. Thinking quickly, she darted for the closest door.

It led her into a small courtyard garden area. She spied another door on the far side and decided to make break for it.

However, the garden wasn't unoccupied.

A young man sat on a low stone bench near a trellis of white roses. He was watching her with an amused expression.

She was in too much of a hurry to let him know how un-amusing her situation was.

"Quick! Hide behind the roses!" he blurted.

She stared at him for a moment, weighing the odds. Then the sound of thundering feet drew closer yet.

Throwing her fate to the wind, she hid where he'd told her to. Just as the door flew open.

"Where is she?" cried the now familiar voice of the Lady. The clattering sound of spears told Miranda a couple of guards had joined the chase now.

The young man looked up at her as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"What are you talking about, Mother?" he asked casually.

"There's a young woman running loose in the castle! She's a real princess! Has she come this way?" The woman smoothed back stray strands of hair self-consciously.

"No", he finally replied. "I haven't seen anyone out of the ordinary here this morning."

"If you do", his mother said, "send her to me."

With that, she stormed out of the courtyard.

When she was sure the coast was clear, Miranda came out of hiding. The young man was grinning at her now.

"So you're really a princess, eh? I'm Byron, by the way. No wonder Mother is eager to get her hands on you. She's been waiting years for one to come along."

Miranda was intrigued by his words.

"My name is Miranda", she replied, seeing as how it was only polite. She brushed a few rose petals from her hair. "She was babbling about me breaking some spell and she wasn't making much sense. I guess I became a little alarmed. I thought she was mad!"

He laughed at this.

"Mother's not mad. She's only desperate for a way to break the spell that was cast on me years ago."

Miranda stared at him in shock. He looked perfectly normal to her. No extra limbs or digits. No animal tails or wings protruding from his backside. "You're under an enchantment? But you look perfectly normal to me!"

Byron looked wistful for a moment before replying, "Thank you, but I'm afraid it's true. I've been cursed to stay in this garden on this bench until a real princess breaks the spell."

She arched a delicate eyebrow. "Break the spell...how? What kind of curse is it?"

He went on to explain, "When I was a baby, my parents invited twelve fairies to the celebration of my birth. Well, they overlooked a certain powerful fairy who was outraged at being left out. She put a curse of death on me before the twelfth fairy could give me a gift. So the last fairy changed the curse into an enchantment of isolation and loneliness until a true princess could break the spell. And here you are."

Miranda was silent as she mentally digested this bit of information. The whole story sounded familiar somehow. Then she spoke up.

"What do I have to do to break it? I hope it doesn't involve retrieving ancient artifacts or overcoming mythical creatures. Trust me, I've had quite enough of that."

The young man stared at her in disbelief. "You've done those things? Why?"

"It's been my personal mission in life to find a real prince to marry. So far, I've only been on wild goose chases. It's a long story though. You still haven't told me how to break the spell."

He blushed. "Sorry, I was just amazed at all the things you've done. You're an extraordinary young woman, you know. To break the spell, I have to be kissed by a true princess."

"That's it? Just a simple kiss?"

"Yes, that's all there is to it."

"But why haven't you been kissed yet? Surely there are hundreds of princesses out there...." she trailed off when he shook his head.

"Not as many as you'd think", he replied softly.

She smiled at him, taking in his good looks for the first time. His long curling blonde hair fell to his shoulders and his eyes were greener than blades of grass. He had what might be referred to as an aristocratic nose but it was offset by his full smiling mouth. She knew she' be a fool not to kiss him.

So she did.

When their lips met, it was as if her insides had turned into warm honey. She knew right then and there he was also the one she'd been looking for.

He was the first to pull away. Rising slowly, he stepped away from the bench for the first time in his life. Then he picked Miranda up and hugged her tightly.

"You did it", he breathed into her ear. She felt the happiness radiating from him.

"Now we are both free", she whispered to him.

He held her at arm's length and lightly frowned in confusion.

"My quest wasn't a spell, curse, or an enchantment. I only had to find a prince to marry or else my evil brother would claim the throne", she explained matter-of-factly. "But it doesn't matter now that I've found you."

Byron grinned at her.

"Come on, Miranda. Let's go find Mother. Won't she be surprised?"

They left the courtyard, hand in hand.