Tea Time

“Horatio, will you pass me the tea?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.”

“And why not? It is my tea after all. I made it. I served it. I get to drink it, too.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“…Just pass me the tea.”

“Get it yourself. You got two legs. Two stubby, short, tiny little legs… but two legs nonetheless. It won’t kill you to get out of your chair and get the tea. You are getting a little pudgy in the belly. Someone hasn‘t been doing their gnome exercises.”

“I have been doing my exercises, but someone… someone big… broke my workout machine when they tried to fit their wide butt on it. Now who could that be?”

“Your mother needs to stop coming over so much. Last week she broke my favorite pair of glasses.”

“You don’t wear glasses… why are we even talking about my mother? Need I remind you that this is my house?“

“You saw a mouse? Where?“

“No, no. I said, that this is my house!“

“I know. Why are you yelling?“

“Cause your hearing is going again.“

“No I don’t want herring for supper again. Can’t we have chicken tonight or something?“

“No, we’re not having chicken tonight. You always burn it. And stop changing the subject you old fool and just pass me my tea.”

“Flea? No, I don‘t have fleas. I‘m a dragon, you stupid gnome.”

“Tea!”

“Tree?”

“TEA!”

“Oh, I‘d love some. Thank you.”

“…”

“What?”

“You have it already. It’s right next to you. I am asking for you to pass it to me.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please.”

“Hmmmm, you’d think some wizard would put that into a spell if it’s so magical, huh? But nope. They’re not original. Never try new things. Always that abra-ca… Oh, what’s it again? Abracadiver? Abragodiva? Abracabra-bo-banana?”

“Abracadabra.”

“A bear cadaver? No, that’s just silly… and a little creepy.”

“A-bra-ca-da-bra!”

“ABBA… car driver? That doesn‘t even make sense. Now you‘re just making up stuff.”

“JUST GIVE ME MY TEA!”

“Well, if you are just going to yell at me then you are not getting the tea.”

“You’re one stubborn, old dragon, you know that? You always win.”

“Thank you. I just wanted you to admit that. I’m sorry if I was rude earlier. You’re my best friend. I hope you know that.”

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend, too. Now, will you pass the tea?”

“No.”

Written for

ID: 941862   (Rated: 18+) The Dialogue 500: IT'S BACK, BABY!  Stories 500 words or less, written only in dialogue. New prompt for May 2012! by ~j

Prompt: For those fantasy lovers, let's do a dialogue between a gnome and a stubborn old dragon.