Door To Door Dragon

Word count = 498

“Dear, oh dear! Who could be at the door this time of night? Yes? Who's... oh my.”

“Good evening sir or madam. My name is Gringor and I represent the Smiling Smaug Dragon Wax corporation. May I impose upon you for a moment of your time?”

“W-w-well of course my good... er, man. I'd love to invite you in but I'm afraid the toadstool's a bit of a mess right now. Not to mention that you're a bit larger than my usual guests.”

“Tell me sir, do you have trouble maintaining your beautiful scales after a hard day of terrorizing villagers?”

“I hardly think so but, you see, the thing is...”

“Sure, we all do! And do not forget the centennial dragon mating ceremony! I'm sure you'll agree that's not a situation in which a chap would want to be caught without his hide looking it's best?”

“Of course not but...”

“How many cases should I put you down for, sir?”

“Oh my, how do I put this?”

“Three cases did you say? Tell you what, make it five and I'll throw in this lovely polishing cloth made from several genuine sheep.”

“I'm afraid I don't have any need for dragon wax because... well... I'm a gnome.”

“Come again?”

“I'm a gnome. You know, pointy hat? Fondness for gardens?”

“A gn... Oh bloody hell. I've done it again haven't I? I thought you looked a bit odd for a dragon. What with the red roof, the white polka dots and the cheerful curtains.”

“Actually, you've been addressing my house but I didn't want to be rude.”

“Oh there you are! Bad eyes, I'm afraid. Time to face facts, I'm a terrible dragon.”

“Well now, I wouldn't say that.”

“Look at me! A dragon selling scale wax door to door! Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

“No, but...”

“Get a job, my mum says. You'll never have a proper horde of your own if you lounge around the cave all day, she says. I can't even make it as a door to door salesdragon. It just makes me so mad sometimes. I feel like I could torch this whole village!”

“Oh! Please, don't do that! Tell you what, put me down for a case of this dragon wax you're selling.”

“You're sure?”

“Absolutely!”

“Thank you! You are my tiny saviour, sir! I can face my family again! How can I ever repay your kindness?”

“You just go out there and be the best salesdragon you can be!”

“Thank you, sir! I will!”

“I must say 'goodbye' to you now but I'll look forward to receiving my dragon wax!”

“Goodbye and thanks again!”

“Goodbye!”

“Heh. This is almost too easy. Who needs captive princesses and knights with pointy swords when you've got Smiling Smaug Dragon Wax? Let's see, who's next on the list? Oh yes, Baggins. Hobbits are always good for a couple of cases. And they wonder how I get named Salesdragon of the Month!”