What If

Staring at eyes left uncovered,
As he stares at a truth yet discovered,
Covered in blood that just can’t be mine,
Hardly noticing the passage of time.

Quietly waiting for a sign of absolution,
A price was paid; a final contribution.
I sit alone in a wasteland of dreams,
Wondering, as I break at the seams:

What if?

What if he’d lived, and I in turn had died?
Would he have heard his first child cry?
Instead of lying amidst a sea of bodies,
Would he have learned from this, greatest of follies?

Would he have been able to do something great?
Was this an act of chance, or unexplained fate?
Why was this life so horribly taken?
Why am I left, so broken and shaken?

What if on him, my tears were not spent?
For another poor soul, would they have been lent?
What should I do as I sit here and cry?
Should I keep going? Is it in me to try?

Did he deserve this? And how was it my right,
To take a life, in some meaningless fight?
But then its my turn to finally realize
As I stare into these soulless eyes

What if?

What if I hadn’t taken his life?
Would he have caused my country more strife?
Would he have gone on to kill many more?
Leading poor souls to Heaven’s bright door

It’s a sad bitter end, and I’m sorry it was me
To end this existence, so harsh and so suddenly
If I live, I shall never forget
Carried with me, this lasting regret
That I could not find one other way
That only death, forever marks this day
But to see that flag flying strong,
Its hard to imagine what I did wrong

And I’ll always remember, what I fought for was peace