No Expectations on 35

No expectations on 35, January 28th, 2007 10:00pm

I choose to give me myself.
I choose to celebrate my birth.
I choose to be me and see
all that has come into my life.

Took a drive south on the 405.
Reminisced on life and love.
Remembered, cherished
and thanked love thrown my way.
Accepted present being as my
destined path for today.

Decided not to make to much ado.
Decided not to be surrounded by
loved ones. Choose me to enjoy
this age for it is new.

Reflected on all that had passed
and no sadness came to mind.
A rich deep tranquility is what
I felt and saw before my eyes.

Euphoric, harmonious soothing CD’s resonated
in my vessel, as I drove my precious gift
to a town that I had not visited.
All alone physically, yet completely
embraced by all those close soulfully.
No plans, expectations of today,
I left it in the hands that some may call
God, spiritual energy
or infinite power.

I saw self-esteem
I saw proudness
I saw humility
I finally saw that all I had achieved
was everything that I had hoped to be.

I’m glad I fell in love
I’m glad that I took a chance
I’m glad that I believed in my gut
that beauty and angels had always
been with me.

Each unknown step that I’ve taken
recently, has reassured me that good things
undeniably do come my way.
Instead of focusing on expectations,
Instead of trying to control my future
Instead of trying to prove I’m the best.
Instead of doubting that I’m not worth it,
can’t take it or afraid to change,
I choose to let it finally go.

My late favorite uncle once told me in his darkest hours, he got
down on his knees, prayed and surrendered
his unsure expectations into God’s hands.
Those words were spoken to me many years ago.
But, today I finally and fully understood.

Driving back home on Hwy 1
Tears spilt freely down my cheeks
Tremendous crying was unleashed
No pain, just joy was taken in.
For in that long sweet emotional moment,
I knew that everything was going to be alright
Because from here on and down the road,
there are no expectations on
Turning thirty-five.