Survivor's Guilt

Sara...?

“Hey, sis... How ya doin’?”

I’m worried about you.

“Me? Nah. Don’t... don’t worry about me. I’m fine. A-Okay.”

No, you’re not... I can tell.

“I’m fine, I’m just... They said we should talk.”

I know.

“I dunno why, though. I mean, what do they expect...?”

Well, you haven’t been doing so hot lately.

“M’fine. Just... it’s been... rough. Y’know? Ever since...”

I know.

“And I’m dealing! I am. It’s just... I think of you. A lot. I look in the mirror and... well...”

Way we were born, sis. Nothing can be done about that.

“I know. And, it’s okay..! I’m glad you’re okay.”

Sara...

“Really! The scars... that’s just the surface, y’know? They don’t matter...”

Sara, I’m not okay.

“Sure you are...!”

Sara, I died.

“NO! No... you’re fine. We both walked away fine…”

Sara, please... they spoke to me too.

“...What...?”

I talked to them, Sara. They said... they told me what you’re going through.

“What are you talking about? What d’you mean they spoke to you? That’s not...”

You... you blame yourself...?

“NO! Stop it! Just stop. They’re not… I didn’t...”

You think it was your fault?

“I-I didn’t say th... I didn’t...”

Tell me the truth.

“I... I said... that... it was me. I was the one who...”

The sign was covered, Sara. Neither of us saw--

“I WAS DRIVING! I was supposed to see it! It was MY responsibility... MY fault...”

Oh, Sara...

“I keep reliving that night, y’know? I keep replaying it over and over. The road curves... we go off the edge... a-and y’know...? I start thinking that maybe I did see the sign. Everyone tells me it was covered by a-a branch, or... But in my memory, it’s there. In my memory, I see it, but nothing changes... We still...”

Sara, what are you doing to yourself?

“I look in the mirror every day and I see your face. I-I see you... scarred and... and just staring back at me... blaming me...”

I never blamed you...

“...and sometimes... sometimes I wonder if it was really me that died back there, y’know..? I look back and... I’m the one lying on the hood...”

No, Sara. You’re alive. But what you’ve been doing... you’re only hurting yourself. You have to stop.

“What are--”

Dressing up? Saying that you’re me? It’s not healthy.

“But I’m... I look in the mirror and... i-it’s you...! You’re...”

I’m dead, Sara! You need to let me go. I can’t... I can’t let you do this anymore.

“You’re... no... listen, you’re my sister! I need my sister...!”

I love you, Sara. I love you so, so much. And I’m sorry that I have to go again, but...

“No...! Don’t... please, listen, I-I’ll stop! Okay? I’ll stop, just…”

This is the last time I’ll speak to you. You have to be strong, okay?

“Don’t leave me! Please… I need you...!”

Goodbye, sis.

“No! Maggie? MAGGIE?!”

...

“MAGGIE!!! No! Nuh...nuh...nnn...”

...

“Sara...?”

“...”

“Am I speaking to Sara right now?”

“Y...yes, doctor. She’s gone.”