Just a little rant

Everyone who personally knows me. Knows my story on how  my leg has become  disabled and other disabilities I have had since I was born. You would think knowing this friends and family members would be more symptomatic and helpful to my plight. I am not sure if it is because they have been around me to much that they have taken my disabilities for granted and just assume I can do everything as well and quick as they do without daily reminders.

For instances : Walking is difficult for me. I walk on my right tippy toes. Without the use of a cane or anything else. I limp. I walk slower than most people. I am always asking one of my friends or family members to slow down so I can catch up. If I walk at a faster pace. I loose my breathe and leg swells. Than I must rest. Not just 5 or 10 mintues. But much longer. Lifting, moving or carrying anything heavy is a strain for me. Sometimes I fall or drop what I have. Or I put my back out. You would think when I ask someone in my household to move or carry something in. They would when they say they would. Not in this household. I will stumble and it seems like they don't care.

My 15 yr old boy just walks around things instead picking them. He puts his dirty clothes in the middle of the living room floor or walk way. Knowing I can't walk over them without tripping. So I am forced to bend down and pick them up praying I don't have yet another spill. If I ask my 8 yr old boy to pick something up. He does but only long enough to move it to another spot on the floor. Before running off and hiding again.

Bending over - is such a chore for me. Alot of times I fall over. Or my leg swells, stiffens or a sharp pain runs up my leg. But to keep a clean house. I do it anyways.

Hearing - I am hearing impaired. I have difficult understand what other people say. My husband has even made the point of telling me..."That people get annoyed because I don't listen and keep asking what. Where they have to repeat themselves."

Eyesight - I am legally blind in my left eye. I am so lucky to have gained full sight in my right. But I do have problems seeing things and running in to things or falling when I am closer to something than I realize.

Insommina - Yes, I have a bad case of this. I am not sure if it is because of the stress or the meds I take. But if I do not take a mild sleeping pill at night. I don't sleep. I may only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night tops. That is still broken up with me waking up because of my leg.

I am currently on 6 different medications. from anti-depression pills, sleeping pills, pain pills, to nerve pills. I guess I should really be thankful I can walk at all. I am but at times it is really hard to have a positive attitude.

My 15 yr old son now thinks he does not have to do anything around the house, neither does his two younger siblings. That leaves me doing all the house work. As my husband works and is tired by time he gets home and from helping his dad around the yard. I also have my sister, her two daughters and boyfriend living in my home. Her boyfriend works and you can tell he is extremely tired when he gets home after putting in 10 hour days. Plus he also works a few hours for my father in law each day to get free rent. My sister is busy alot. Since her youngest (she is 1yr old) has been in and out of the hospital with breathing problems. She has been in the hospital 4 times in the past 2 weeks. She was currently re-ammitted two days ago. So most days she spends up there. That leaves me babysiiting her other daughter. I don't really mind. So as you can see. That leaves me taking care of the house and cleaning up not after 5 people but now 9 with no help.

I really don't know how much more of this I can take. It is making my disibilites worse with not getting the proper rest. Or I am sorry for misleading you. This is a longer rant than what I intended. I will let you go now.