Wet Revenge

We thought it would be cool if we made the old man look like he had wet his pants. And we knew Jo-Jo's old hamster had a bit of a leakage problem. She had trained him to pee on command when he was just a little hamster-ette.

It eventually backfired though. Now he was almost five years old and he constantly smelled of ammonia. If you picked him up, a little dribble of clear liquid would come constantly from his rear end, like a leaky faucet. Except this leaky faucet smelled.

We all figured the old man would be incontinent as well. He always seemed to understand the hamster's problem when Jo-Jo would come around with Mattie, her hamster, in his play ball.

"Hey little guy," he would say, "how's your bladder today?"

Jo-Jo would pick up the ball and, in her best squeaky voice, would answer "I haven't peed in my ball yet, Mr. Sampson."

He was always nice to Jo-Jo, but never nice to me or Josh.

"Good. Good," he would say with a wink. "Give it some time, Mattie."

On this particular day when we decided to make the old man look like he had wet his pants, Jo-Jo was extra excited because she was bringing Mattie into school for show and tell the next day. She had sat Mattie down on the ground and was dancing around, blabbing to the old man about hamsters and their care. Josh and I snuck behind her and swiped the hamster.

"Now what?" Josh said to me when we were out of earshot.

"We have to take him out of the ball. You know the rest."

Josh stuck out his tongue. "Well, I'm not touching him!"

I mumbled under my breath about him being a wimp.

The plan was to take Mattie to the old man's porch swing, hold him there for a bit and let him get nice and oozy all over it. Then, we would put him back in his ball and return him to the ground before Jo-Jo even knew he was gone.

All went well, except that the little guy's drippy faucet was being extra slow. Josh stood at a distance, staring at his watch and shouting at me about how much time had gone by.

"Relax," I said. I put the hamster back in his ball. "Mattie came through for us. Now, we just have to get him back without Jo-Jo noticing."

When we got back to the front yard where Jo-Jo was still teaching the old man about hamster eating habits, we sat Mattie down and ran. From behind a tree, we watched as Jo-Jo picked up Mattie and followed the old man toward the porch.

I looked at Josh. He looked at me with fear in his eyes. We hadn't been counting on Jo-Jo going near the swing.

I closed my eyes and silently prayed that the old man would sit in the right spot, and Jo-Jo would not.

A few seconds later, I heard a shriek. It came from Josh.

I opened my eyes just in time to see Jo-Jo running toward us with her fists pumping. Josh and I ran, but we weren't fast enough. In one sudden sweep, Jo-Jo tackled us both to the ground.