Poems of a cutter

      Time Once Again

The time has come once again
with the razor in hand
Tears in my eyes, I've prepared
With towels by my side-
I reopen an old cut- make it deeper
The pain just isn't enough! I need more!
Now fresh skin deeper now.
I'll let it bleed longer!
See all the good stuff goes in and bad stuff comes out!
I'll be better now.
What! My alarm!
I must of past out!
OH, there's blood everywhere!
I'm still bleeding! Stop it! Stop it!
Crap! Mom's up! Clean!
Thank goodness I can clean fast!
Make up! Make up! Were is it! Found it! Now to paint on a fake face!
"Allie coffee!" mom yells.
She didn't even notice. What kind of mother is she?

                Hidden

Check my wrists and you wont find them-
Check my stomach, you will.
When you hear my voice it's not there-
Listen to my heart beat. Do ya' hear it?
Look in my eyes you wont see it-
See past all the well thought lies.
A pain lover is what I am-
But you wont find it.
If you do, I have failed-
More pain to come.
I try to stop but I'm outta control!
It's not me no not at all!

  Comfort Item (unfinished)

At the sight of blood you SHRIEK
but without it I FREAK.
When pain comes you CRY,
but I SMILE because I know everything will be ok.
You find comfort in BLANKIES and TEDDIES
I find comfort in my METAL BLADES.
You need FOOD and WATER to live,
I need that as well as the shedding of BLOOD.
You want MOMMY and DADDY
I want them GONE for more time with my toy.

This is real!! It may not be good but it is real and there are people out there that have these problems! I am here if you have the problem and I can help.
Even if I do have the problem.