The Arcanologist's Art

The Arcanologist's Art

"I have chased the dragon for years now.
I have looked for it in dreams and drugs,
In cities and cemetaries, by light
Of a punishing sun (whose glory I
Abandoned to tread my Mistress's Halls)
And by succoring darkness whose embrace
Always kept me both comforted and cold.

"I have sought the wisdom of the scholars,
Living in libraries for four long years.
There myth became only a metaphor --
Dragon became dream, an invented image
Conjured from boredom, and that was all magic.
Lies I learned, rules of reason derived by
A science which has finally denied
Its founding law: that of empirical
Evidence and the testament of the senses.
I saw the dragon; I'd see it again.

"I have travelled through the depths of despair,
Always assuming an upward path as
I spiralled down into darkness. Death brings
No fear to my heart -- daily I beg for
Her gentle touch, the sound of feathered wings.
Madness has become my muse, wonderful
Singing defiant over choking fear.
She soothes me, holds me, and I know She is
Misunderstood -- that sometimes the windmills
Are giants. Wisdom in madness, old wives say,
And I studied the scars of my sickness,
A runic alphabet carved into skin,
And I grasped the magic which lies in pain,
In Will and the strength of the Body,
In accepting madness and listening
For the irrational's intrusion.
Knowledge had failed me; Flesh and Bone are true.
This magic turns inward and could devour
My self and soul -- though now a simple choice
Illuminates the grave in which I lie:
Walk forward with balance or fall back and die.

"For one full turning of the moon's cycle,
I stood desolate on lonely beaches,
Heir to a call I did not understand,
Waiting for my new teachers to appear.
I became the pentad of their circle.
Youngest Sister, student, and sexual pet --
Used, teased, trained, tormented, and taught,
I studied the subtle arts of perversion
And the overpowering arts of lust.
And I learned that all barriers lie
In the mind and not in the natural world;
I learned to loose my grasp on this life
In succumbing to sensation. And to love,
For Love is their law, Love under the Goddess,
As it is now mine, and the power with it.
I saw the dragon, I'll see it again.

"Oneiromancer, I've dubbed myself, and
Symbologer is a joke that came true --
But there is magic in this, all of the
World which flowers and withers around me.
Each turn of my path brings new challenges,
New pains to dull my days and cut my dreams,
And I never know whether I'll hold firm
Or shatter entirely. But one truth I know:
I saw a dragon. I'll see it again."

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