Lawyer Trouble

“Ugly Betty is on tonight.”

“Uh, what?”

“I said, Ugly Betty is on tonight.”

“You’re telling me this why?”

“Because I’m excited.”

“Shouldn’t you be focusing on the trial instead?”

“Meh, why?”

“Uh… so I don’t get life for a murder sentence.”

“Did you do it?”

“No.”

“Then you’re fine. Stop worrying. They just found out that Daniel‘s supposedly dead brother is alive… and now a woman!”

“Wh-what? Daniel’s brother? Daniel didn’t have a brother.”

“No, not the Daniel you are accused of murdering, the Daniel on the show. His brother is Alex… well, was. Now he… she’s Alexis. Very soap opera-ish. Kind of confusing, but still funny. Not like the old sitcoms, ya know? They were just purely hilarious. Didn’t have to try anything too absurd to amuse the audience.”

“Will you shut up already? You’ll get us in trouble if the judge hears.”

“That old hag? She wouldn’t be able to hear a boat siren if she was standing right next to it. And don’t get me started on her eyesight…”

“I won’t. Just shut up and get me out of this predicament.”

“Cheers.”

“Cheers?”

“Yes, Cheers.”

“Why do you say cheers?”

“The show. Don’t you remember it?”

“Kind of…”

“Only kind of? Do you want me to help you be a free man?”

“Oh yeah, Cheers, now I remember it!”

“Good. Now that was a great show. Do you remember the theme song?”

“Why, are you going to start…”

“Making your way through the world today…”

“Oh damn, are you… Why me?”

“…takes everything that you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

“Wouldn’t you like to get away? Sometimes you want to go…”

“….”

“Sometimes you want to go…”

“Where everyone knows your name…”

“And they’re always glad you came…”

“You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same.”

“You wanna be where everyone knows your name… Aw, good times. Great song. Brings back memories.”

“I’m glad. Now can we focus on the trial?”

“Or what about Green Acres? That’s a real oldie, but a classic. You remember the song, don’t you? Green acres is the place to be! Farm living is the life for me. Land spreading out so far and wide, keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.”

“…”

“Come on…”

“Fine… New York is where I’d rather stay. I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore the penthouse view. Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue.”

“It’s more Dah-ling than Darling, but whatever. The chores!"

“The stores…”

“Fresh air!”

“Times Square…”

“You are my wife.”

“No.”

“Oh, stop being so fussy and just finish it.”

“…Do I have to?”

“You know you want to.”

“Ugh… Good bye, city life!”

“That line's kind of ironic for you, huh? Green acres we are there! Oh, and you can‘t forget about the theme to All In the Family…”

“Damn… I’m so going to jail for life…”


Written for:

ID: 941862   (Rated: 18+) The Dialogue 500: IT'S BACK, BABY!  Stories 500 words or less, written only in dialogue. New prompt for May 2012! by ~j

Prompt: This is your mission, should you choose to accept it: a whispered conversaation between a man on trial for murder and his lawyer during the trial.