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WRITING.COM TIME

Wednesday
July 30, 2014
3:15pm EDT


Rated: E | Column | Family | #1224803
I have begun to hate taking a shower
I have decided that I absolutely hate bathing. I donít hate being clean or anything. I am just not willing, well, not exactly not willing, just umÖ.oh not willing then, to devote the time I have to devote to personal hygiene.

Last night, at 10 pm, after my usual exhausting day, i.e. got up at 6, got S up, dressed, fed, ready for school, took DHís dog outside to potty, managed to suck down only ONE cup of coffee, got the kidlet to school on time, remembered to kiss the four year old before I left, forgot to kiss DH, didnít even think about kissing the dogs or cats or fish but fed them all first thing, went to the office, did the weekend catch up work, left work, ate lunch, picked up kids, had extra grandkid from after school until karate, drove the Ĺ hour home, made dinner early because of karate, had to make two separate dinners cause that is the grandkid that is totally allergic to milk, and the menu last night was grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Breathe, breathe.

Not good. She got grilled bologna with ketchup and tomato soup made with water. Cleaned up dinner mess. Got kidlets (2) ready to go, got to karate on time, ran into karate helped them get dressed, left, ran errands, checked on one of the doors at the restaurant which wasnít locking (not good), went back to karate, picked kid up, drove Ĺ hour home again, got her ready for bed, kissed 4 yr old goodnight, talked to DH for a few, did some chores, fed animals again, redded up house, made uncountable trips into bedrooms to answer kid questions, etc, give drinks, give bologna sandwiches to the STARVING children who cannot POSSIBLY go to sleep unless they get a snack., well ya know.

Finally, at 10 pm, exhausted. I had to take a shower, which PROMPTLY woke my butt right up. Fine. Wonderful. Now, at bedtime, I am raring to go.

Take a pill and go to sleep. Because, I have to get up at 6 am, and honey, if I do not get 8 hours of sleep, I do not function any more. Period. End of story.

I donít have time to shower in the morning. There are toooooo many mouths to feed, things to awaken, etc. I am too tired to shower at night. Donít want to bathe when I bathe the kids, and there isnít enough hot water to go three baths or showers any way. I just hate the whole bit about bathing. It takes too long. I get cold when I get undressed. I have WAAAAY too many mirrors in my bathroom. I think I may just do something about THAT little issue. Itís cold when I get out of the shower as well. Then, of course, I have to blow dry my hair which I absolutely abhor doing because if I donít, I will sleep on wet hair and awaken with the WORLDS WORST case of bed head ever seen, and, donít forget, I do run two companies and it would look funny for me to go to the office with bad bed head. Well, okay, for those who know me, I don't really care about what I look like at home or at the office, but you know.

Well, I just hate showering. But, I was raised to bathe daily, as were most of us. How RUDE! Now a nice leisurely bath would be lovely and sweet, but alas ! it is not in my immediate future.

I find myself wanting the Jetson days, you remember? When Judy Jetson slips into the ďsonic showerĒ and is sonically cleaned of all odor, bacteria, and whatever else undesirable things might be on her body (have you ever SEEN a dust mite? Ewwwwww), and then jumps out, sparkingly clean and odorless. Come to think of it, I would like wash and wear clothes, you know, put them on and then when they get wet, they disappear. How funny would THAT be in a rain shower?

I want a sonic shower. I donít think I would mind being irradiated somehow if it involved me NOT getting wet and WAKING up.

I donít see a solution to this problem. I tried showering as soon as I get home, doesnít work.

Any ideaís out there? I hate having such an insignificant problem, but I cannot be the ONLY person out there having this stupid issue over stupidity.


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