My Name

My Name

I sit impatiently, fingers drumming on my desk.
Waiting for your call that I know will be coming.
I’m anxious and shivering knowing soon our words will bring us closer.
I’m also scared at the thought of how happy you make me.

I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again.
I wouldn’t let myself feel these feelings.
The feelings I get when I let myself go.
The ones that lead me to make bad choices and leave my heart unprotected.

So many others have by now forgotten my name.
I pray that you will stand out from them.
The ones who, without noticing, broke my heart and left me alone.
I pray that you will be wary of my heart and keep it safe.

I’m hoping that tomorrow you will remember my name.
I feel the table vibrate as your call reaches me.
I’m so excited to hear your voice, the one I still trust so much.

We joke about our day and I tell you I miss you.
You miss me too, you say.
And for a moment I think I can feel what I want.
For a moment I know it will be okay.

But I’m still scared thinking about tomorrow.
As we get off the phone I wonder if I will see you again.
I know I will, so I smile hoping tomorrow I will feel the same.

Others from the past still call but I don’t answer.
Knowing it is nothing but a game.
But I still answer your calls day after day.
I still have hope that tomorrow you’ll remember my name.