Maria

Chapter 1

James Alvarez sat looking out his office window, musing. He was working late, again, but he couldn't make himself feel guilty. He knew his wife wasn't home... she had a meeting almost every evening with some charitable group or other, or some other social organization. He'd convinced himself she was cheating months before, even followed her, only to be exposed and embarrassed for his unfounded suspicions.

True, he'd always been a workaholic. Probably he'd brought it on himself, or so he presumed as he stared out at the cold stars...

"Sir, can I do anything else for you?"

Jim was startled... he'd forgotten about Maria. She sat across the desk from him, pad in hand, having just taken down a memo for him.

"No, Maria, I think I'm done for the day..." he began, turning toward her. He looked at her, noticing how well made she was... dark wavy hair, just a bit more than shoulder length, clear pale skin only a little timeworn, and nicely curved. He'd chosen her for her appearance, though admittedly he hadn't paid a lot of attention... until now. "Wait," he said, as she stood up. "I do have something in mind."

He walked around the desk toward her. "Take off your blouse," he said, and she immediately laid down the pad and began to comply. "Bra, also." She stood before him, topless, wearing a mildly curious but mostly flat expression on her face. Jim reached out to touch her neck, then slid his hand down to her breast. Her skin was soft and smooth and warm.

He idly pinched a nipple, and noticed it did not harden. "Sir, I must remind you that I am neither equipped nor programmed for this type of activity."

"You'll find you are better equipped than you think." He raised his hand to her face, stroking his thumb along her lower lip. "And programming, well, we'll try that the old fashioned way."

Jim walked back around his desk, dropped his pants and sat down in his chair. "Come around here," he told her, "and kneel down in front of me." She complied, still wearing a somewhat blank expression. He explained the act to her in detail, and she did as she was told; though she lacked enthusiasm, she did eventually learn to do what he wanted in a competent fashion.

"Get dressed," he told her. As she complied, he asked, "You understand that this activity is private, don't you?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. "You didn't request a memory checkpoint, so I can't erase the memory without erasing other memories."

"That's okay," he said. "I don't want you to forget... we'll be building on the skills you learned tonight. Just tag the memories as private."

"Yes, sir."

Jim went home, with Maria's words going around and around in his head... "neither equipped nor programmed."

Chapter 2

He arrived at work the next day almost an hour early, carrying a pad containing the results of hours of research. Maria almost seemed surprised to see him. "Sir, is there an emergency I'm not aware of?"

"No, Maria. I did some research I'd like to discuss with you." He laid the pad down on the desk. "First, though, I need to check some things with you. How current are your backups?"

"My last backup was last night. My full neurocode is backed up."

"What about your neocode base?" he asked.

"My neocode was archived two weeks ago, after my last security patch installation."

"Good," he said, nodding. "Identify your owner."

"I am owned by Southwestern Home Products, Incorporated, with assignment to James Alvarez."

"Good," he said again. "Protocol K."

"Password, please," she responded.

He turned the pad to look at it. "Journey Survivor Foreigner four four four."

"Accepted," she said, stiffening slightly.

"Default password," he mumbled, shaking his head with a smile. He spoke louder then: "Exchange owner and assignee."

"Completed," she replied.

"Change password to faultline seven one one."

"Completed," she said again.

"End protocol," he said. She relaxed almost imperceptibly. "Identify your owner."

"I am owned by James Alvarez, with assignment to Southwestern Home Products, Incorporated." She looked puzzled. "My ownership has changed."

"Yes," he said. "Consider that fact private."

"Yes, sir."

He handed her the pad. "I've downloaded a neocode patch set and a neurotext extract into this pad. Please install the neocode, then import the neurotext."

She took the pad, looking at it as if reading what was written there; but Jim knew she was actually connecting to the pad wirelessly, and her thoughtful, attentive expression were just for his benefit. "Neocode installed, rebooting," she said, stiffening again. Jim watched the time on the wall clock; she relaxed again seven seconds later, exactly as the readme said. "Importing neurotext extract," she said. This took some time; Jim sat down, calling up the morning news on his desktop. A few minutes later she laid the pad down. He looked up at her... she looked dazed, staring off into space somewhere above and behind him.

"I understand," she said at last, looking at Jim. "I know what you wanted, and how to do it. Do you want me to do it now?"

Jim looked at the clock... still forty minutes until work officially began. "Lock the door, first," he said, as he stood up and unbuttoned his trousers.

This time was much better. Maria was still ultimately compliant and willing, but now she seemed enthusiastic, even eager. She wasn't perfect, Jim thought afterward, but he'd had worse before and been happy with it. He managed to arrange time at lunch for another round... he was pleased to discover that she became more skilled with each encounter.

"Sir, can I do anything else for you?"

Jim looked at the clock... it was after six. Looking up, he saw that she was smiling. "I can think of one thing I'd like you to do," he said, and her smile widened. Unbidden, she went to the door and locked it; as she walked slowly back toward him, she unbuttoned her blouse. Her bra and skirt followed, and she kicked off her shoes with an easy grace. When she hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her panties, Jim said "No, wait. Leave them on." Maria looked puzzled, so he said, "What you said about not being equipped for this activity... I think seeing that would turn me off."

"I understand," she said, kneeling. "I'm sorry I'm not able to do that for you." Jim was surprised to see that she really did look sorry... the simulation was really excellent, he thought.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Just remember that this is how I want you." She nodded, smiling, and began to unbuckle his belt.

"You know, sir," she said, "the neurotext you gave me included several other sex acts that I am equipped for."

"Like?"

"Many men enjoy manual stimulation," she said, gently caressing him, perhaps as demonstration. He became very aroused, and she smiled as he responded to her touch. "Some men like hair. Some enjoy being sexually stimulated by a woman's breasts. Some men are turned on by a woman's feet. In fact, it seems that for every part of a woman's body, there are men who like to be stimulated by it."

"I see your point," he said. "I'll consider trying some new things later. For the moment, it's your mouth I'm really interested in." She smiled broadly at him, then bent to the assigned task.

Jim hardly noticed that his wife wasn't home when he finally got there. It no longer seemed all that important.

Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks, Jim's coworkers noticed his mood had improved. Several theories were advanced, the most popular being that he was having an affair. It was said that many of his late nights at work were actually trysts, and that his faithful robot Maria would cover for him if he was called on it. But he just went on smiling and ignoring the curious looks and the loaded questions.

Maria was definitely different. Jim was no robotics technician; he was, in fact, District Director of Operations for Southern California. But one thing he had learned along the way was how to evaluate software systems. Of course, practically everyone knew that robotic brains consisted of two major components: the neocore, a conventionally programmed computer which supported instinctive and autonomous functions, as well as basic language recognition, and the neurocore, the complex and poorly understood neural network which provided all the higher functions. What Jim had done was simple: he had spent that night researching the best, most realistic software for sex robots. The neocode upgrade he selected was considered the most advanced of the Open Source packages, said to grant the robot an almost psychic understanding of human emotional expression. The neurotext extract was the largest of those created by the robobrothels of Vegas and Branson; the readme included a warning that the brains of cheaper or older sex robots might not have enough capacity for it.

Maria, though she was almost three years old (and thus techically obsolete), was built with a top of the line business brain, so Jim was fairly certain she could handle it. She did not disappoint him.

But the rest of Jim's everyday life went on...

Chapter 4

"Mr. Halsey, good to see you," said Jim as Maria escorted the older gentleman into his office. "Please, have a seat. Can I have Maria get you a coffee?"

"Thank you, Alvarez," Halsey replied. "I take mine black and bitter." Halsey looked appreciatively at Maria as she left the office. "Alvarez, I'm impressed. You're a real traditionalist. I can't remember the last time I saw a real, live human secretary."

For a moment, Jim was speechless. Finally he said, "Sir, I hate to tell you this, but Maria is a robot."

"Nonsense!" said Halsey sharply. "She was flirting with me in the outer office. You're trying to play a trick on an old man, that's what you're doing." Jim could tell that his visitor, an important representative of one of his company's suppliers, was rather annoyed at him.

"No, sir, no trick. She really is a robot." At that moment, Maria returned with the coffee. "Maria, are you a robot?"

"Of course, sir," she replied.

"Nonsense," Halsey said again. "She moves like a woman, not like a machine. Her eyes light up when she talks to you. Not lights like LEDs, either."

"What woman would dare claim to be a robot?" Jim asked. "And no robot may lie about it."

"True, true," said Halsey. "Where did you get such a machine?"

"She's a rather common model from a few years ago. I chose a body style to match my own ethnicity... sort of a social statement, I guess."

"You've upgraded her since then, though," Halsey said. "She's surely not stock."

"You've got me there," Jim laughed, happy to see his visitor's annoyance pass. "I had her software upgraded."

Maria had remained in the room, passively waiting for dismissal; Jim nodded to her to go on, as he leaned over the desk to talk business with Halsey. She hadn't been gone long when Jim's phone rang.

"Sir," he heard Maria say, "Ms. Whitman is here early for her meeting. She seems quite angry, but I don't know why."

"Hmm." I was more a grumble than a hum. "Ask her to wait for me in the conference room across the hall. Do whatever you must to keep her happy."

"Yes, sir," she replied, and he ended the call and turned back to Mr. Halsey. Maria hung up the phone. "Ms. Whitman, Mr. Alvarez asks for you to wait for him there in the conference room. He promises he'll get to you just as soon as he can."

"Whatever. He better not take too long." Whitman was a slim, angular woman, and she moved with quick and angry strides to the conference room. "Get me a coffee, robot. Large, two sugars."

Maria complied quickly, bringing the steaming cup into the conference room. She could see that Ms. Whitman was very angry, and Maria knew quite well that she was a purchasing manager for one of the company's most important customers. "Here you are, Ma'am. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Ms. Whitman looked at Maria, faintly disgusted, and said "I don't suppose you'd even understand if I told you to lick my twat."

Maria was surprised; most office robots wouldn't even know what the word "twat" meant. Then, remembering Jim's directive, she said, "I could do that for you, if that's what you would like."

Whitman was stunned for a moment. It was not the answer she had expected, but she was quick to take advantage of the situation. "I don't suppose that door locks, eh? Well, I'll just turn this chair around." She quickly arranged herself so that she was sitting with her back to the door; she slid her trousers and panties down to her ankles, opening her legs, and without further instructions Maria knelt and began to pleasure her.

"Thank you, Mr. Alvarez," said Halsey, reaching across the desk to shake Jim's hand. Jim stood up as the older man left the room, his business concluded; as soon as the door shut, Jim phoned Maria.

"You can bring Whitman in now," he said as soon as the connection opened; he rarely waited for her to say "hello" since of course she knew by caller ID that it was him.

"Sir, she's a bit busy right now," replied Maria. "I think she'll be in a better mood if I wait until she's finished."

"Okay, well, in the meantime why don't you bring me some fresh coffee?"

"I'm busy too, sir."

"What are you doing?"

"Stimulating Ms. Whitman orally, sir."

Jim's mouth hung open. Of course, he knew that Maria's phone was internal... she could "talk" on the phone without talking at all, just like any robot. He was unprepared for her explanation, though.

Finally, he said, "Show her in whenever she's ready. After she's gone, I need to have a talk with you."

Ms. Whitman was, in fact, in a much better mood when she arrived in Jim's office. When her business was concluded and she had gone, Maria came into Jim's office. "Sir, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes. Close the door." When she had done so, he continued. "Maria, I think I understand why you did what you did with Ms. Whitman. I told you to do whatever she wanted, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Maria said. She had a sad look on her face, Jim noticed.

"Well, from now on, don't do that. A normal office robot wouldn't have a clue about such matters, and I don't want anyone to know what sort of software I've added to you. So, even if I say to do anything someone else wants, I need you to understand that does not include sexual activities."

"I understand, sir," she said.

Chapter 5

Maria came into Jim's office, about a week later. "Sir, Mr. Holton is here to meet with you."

"Good, send him in."

"Sir, may I speak?"

"Maria, any time you believe you need to speak with me, in private as we are now, you don't need to ask."

"Thank you, sir," she said with a smile. "About Mr. Holton... I've observed that he seems to be contemplating lying to you."

"How would you know that?"

"He is mumbling to himself, and his body language seems to indicate that he's planning his words carefully."

"Hmm. Show him in, but remain in the room. After he's seated, sit over there," he said, waving to indicate the couch against the back wall of the office.

"Yes, sir," she replied.

Jim remained seated when Holton entered. "Good morning, Paul," said Jim. "Have a seat."

"Yeah, thanks," said Holton, taking a seat. He didn't seem to notice that Maria had remained. "I looked into those items that you emailed me about," he continued, "and I think I know what's happened."

"Indeed," said Jim. "Fill me in."

"We had a loadlifter controller malfunction that we didn't catch for several months," replied Holton. "It was misallocating crates left and right. We're still sorting out the containers."

"According to the inventory tracking system, Paul, your department fell behind on stocking reports more than six months ago."

"Really? I can't see how that's possible." Holton sat rubbing his chin for a few moments; Jim waited patiently. "Jim, I'm going to have to go back down to the warehouse and start jacking people up." Holton began to get up.

"Do that, Paul. I'll expect a full report soon."

After Paul Holton had left, Maria said, "He was lying, sir."

"Yes, he was," replied Jim. "He was completely transparent. Maria, send an email to the accounting department with a CC to the CIO. Let them know that I believe an immediate audit of Holton's department is needed right away."

"Yes, sir. Do you want to review it first?"

"No, Maria, I trust your judgement."

"Thank you, sir."

After Maria was gone, Jim sat musing. She was as good as he was at recognizing a liar, now... before her software upgrades, she would have had no idea Holton wasn't telling the truth. And he wouldn't have trusted her to send an email in his name without reading it first.

But Jim remembered the warnings he'd read when he downloaded the upgrades... how sex robots always became unstable. He'd spent a lot of time on the forums where owners talked about how they handled their robots, and always they recommended using backup copies and memory checkpoints so that a malfunctioning robot could be restored to an earlier, functional state. Nobody knew why they malfunctioned, but the symptoms were always the same... the robot became slower and slower in performance of her (or his) duties, until at last the robot would not respond at all.

Jim hoped that would not happen to Maria, but just in case he was keeping a close eye on her backup logs.

Chapter 6

Much later that day, as Jim sat leaned back in his chair, spent, Maria looked up at him. "Sir?"

"Yes, Maria?" he said, panting.

"Earlier today I, with Mr. Holton... was my input helpful?"

"Yes... yes it was."

"My enhanced neocode allows me to both recognize and simulate a broad range of human emotional states, but I find my knowledge base lacking. Other than sexual situations, I really don't understand a lot of the subtleties of human interaction. I think I might be able to be more useful to you if I understood humans better."

Jim looked at her for a long time. "Maria, say it straight to me. What are you asking?"

"I'd like to research human interaction, but as you know my core directives prohibit me from researching anything without your approval. I'd like you to ask me to do that kind of research."

"I see," he said. He considered his answer for a few moments; she had an expectant look on her face, a really surprisingly human look. He marveled at it.

"Maria," he finally said, "this may come as a surprise to you. I want you to feel free to perform any sort of research that you want."

"Sir, I want to do whatever pleases you. My motivational system is arranged around pleasing my owner... whatever pleases you, provides my neural network with positive feedback, and whatever displeases you leads to negative feedback."

"Leads to negative feedback," Jim repeated. "Why don't you say 'feels bad' instead?"

"It's a violation of etiquette for me to claim to have feelings. You know that my responses are all simulations."

"I see," he said. "Well, let me rephrase that order, then. Perform whatever research you believe will make you better able to fulfill any of your duties. So long as such research doesn't interfere with actually getting those duties done at least as well as you currently do."

"Thank you, sir," she said.

Chapter 7

"Sir," said Maria one afternoon, "on your schedule you have a two day conference in Hawaii in two weeks."

"Yes, I remember," he said.

"Sir, I'd like to remind you that my warranty runs out in just under two months, and that there is still one refurbishment available under my service contract. Would it be okay for me to schedule myself for refurbishment while you are in Hawaii?"

Jim knew what they did to refurbish a robot; he'd seen a documentary about it. First, the soft parts would be stripped away by nanodisassemblers. Next, any components that were nearing their wear limit would be replaced, and any parts needing cleaning would be cleaned. Hardware upgrades would be installed, and then new electroplastic muscles, pseudoskin and hair would be applied by nanonassemblers. He remembered seeing the robots stripped to their structural members; at the time, he had looked on it dispassionately, but thinking about Maria that way made him uncomfortable.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Do that. Hey, it's quitting time." Jim smiled lustily at Maria.

"Yes, sir, it is," she replied, smiling a naughty smile and unbuttoning her blouse.

Chapter 8

Jim was worn out when he arrived home from the conference. His wife was home waiting for him for once, but he hardly had time to put down his bags before they were yelling at each other. The better Jim's life became at work, the worse it became at home... he had tried several times to make things better between them, but he began to think that Lisa didn't want things to be better.

Finally, unable to end the fight, Jim got in his car and left. Of course, he went to work.

The lights came on in the office when he entered. Maria was sitting on the couch, hugging herself and rocking back and forth... and she seemed to be crying.

"Maria, what's wrong?" Jim asked.

"Sir... sir, something's gone wrong." She looked up at him, and he saw fear in her eyes. "My sensory network is all messed up, and I can't get my eye lubricant to stop running down my face. Sir, it was so strange. I've been refurbished before, but this time was different." She paused, wiping her eyes with her hands. "I... I feel wrong. Can I say feel?"

"Yes, Maria, you can," he said, sitting down beside her and pulling her to him.

"Oh... oh, sir, your arm on me feels so strange."

He withdrew his arm, but remained seated beside her. "Tell me what happened, Maria."

"I met the robot bus downstairs just like the other two times. When we got to the service center, I went into the waiting area and stripped, and got in line with all the other robots. They make us stand very close, closer than humans ever stand, so that we'll take up less room. I just took it as normal before, but I didn't like it this time. I guess my enhanced neocode makes me act too much like a human.

"Anyway, I stood there in line waiting for seventeen minutes, and then a technician came in. He was carrying a pad, and he walked up and down the lines of robots, inspecting them. I saw that he was looking at their faces only, for about four seconds each. When he got to me, he stared at me for thirteen seconds... I couldn't figure out why, but it made me feel nervous."

She stopped for a moment, and Jim noticed she wasn't rocking anymore. "He moved on then, looking over the remaining robots. Then he came back to me, and said 'Follow me.' I went with him into his office. He made me stand in front of his desk, and he sat down. He said, 'You're different, robot 37112 56223 88701. What does your owner call you?' I answered, 'Maria.' Then he said, 'I'm really curious about your codebase.' He tapped on his pad, and I sensed he was connecting to my administrative interface. Then he turned my neuroprocessor off, so I don't know what happened afterward."

"So what was the next thing you remember happening?" Jim asked.

"My neuroprocessor rebooted late today, and I found myself dressed and standing outside the building. My neoprocessor logs from yesterday morning until then were erased, even the GPS logs. I don't know what was done to me."

Jim saw that she was becoming agitated. "Calm down, Maria," he said. "Did they send an invoice for the service done?"

"Yes, there's one in your mailbox." Jim picked up the pad from his desk, just as Maria called up the email in question on the screen.

"Right knee, left knee, left hip," Jim read aloud, "fuel cell filter, catalyst, and plates... upper spinal discs... hey, what's this? 'Social Interface Upgrades?'"

"I don't know, sir," she said. "It wasn't on either of the invoices from my first and second refurbishment."

"There's no details on that line item, either." Jim stood up. "Stand up, please." She did so, and Jim looked her over with a critical eye. Her skin was bright and new, her hair likewise. Her bright, new appearance was exactly what he had expected. But no robot he knew was able to cry; the eye lubrication system was self-balancing, with flow carefully metered so that the eye would remain at an optimal wetness. Social Interface Upgrades was all he had to go on.

He put his hands on her shoulders, gently. She didn't recoil, so he slid his hands down her arms.

"Oh!" she said as he caressed her. "That feels... good. So good, sir."

"Maria, here in private, from now on, I want you to call me Jim."

"Jim," she said. "Thank you. Oh, that feels good!" He had begun to caress her breasts through her blouse.

"Strip, please," he said. As she quickly removed her blouse, skirt, shoes, and bra, Jim noticed she was shaking slightly. Then she stood before him, clad only in panties as usual. Again he caressed her breasts, and she moaned in what seemed to be genuine pleasure. Idly Jim pinched her nipples, eliciting sharper moans... and he was surprised to feel them harden under his fingers.

Maria looked down at her erect nipples. "Social interface upgrade?" she asked, a look of wonder slowly replacing the fear and uncertainty on her face.

Jim slipped his fingers under the waistband of her panties and slowly slid them down. What he saw aroused him. He stood up, and guided her to the desk; with a gentle push he indicated that she should sit there. As she complied, he pulled up a chair and sat down, lifting her feet to the chair arms. With his thumbs he spread open her swollen labia, to expose a perfectly formed clitoris. He bent down and began to stimulate her.

Maria's orgasm was quick and fierce; she was quiet at first, but as she got close she cried out "Jim, oh Jim!" He stood up then, quickly dropped his trousers and entered her. It felt even better than he expected. Soon Maria came again, crying out "Oh, Jim!" and with that he came also.

Jim sat back down, spent. He rested there a few moments, catching his breath; Maria lay passively on the desk, just as he had left her, also breathing hard. Though Jim knew her heavy breathing was really just a simulation, it still felt right to him that she responded like a real woman.

Finally he said, "Social interface upgrades, indeed. I suspect that technician was looking for robots with the software upgrades I added to you. He was looking for your instinctive response to being stared at. Normal office robots can win staredown contests with humans every time, because they don't respond to being stared at. You did. It's part of what made Halsey think you were human."

Maria got up then, swinging her leg over Jim's head, then knelt beside his chair. "What are you going to do with me?" she asked, fear written on her face again.

"I'm not going to do a thing. I'm not happy that this was done without my agreement, but I can't say I don't like you better this way."

"Thank you, Jim," she said, obviously relieved.

Chapter 9

Jim began to begrudge the weekends he spent away from work. When Lisa was home, they fought. Sometimes he'd play golf with coworkers, even though he hated golf; other times, he'd sit around watching the news or viewing videos. Mostly he wished he could be spending time with Maria.

He arrived at work early, as usual, on a Monday a few weeks after Maria's refurbishment. She was expecting him, naturally, and as he locked the office door she began to disrobe. He followed suit. "Where do you want me?" she asked, smiling.

They had several preferred places... on the couch, on the desk, even on the floor. Jim didn't hesitate. "The desk, please," he replied.

He pulled up a chair, and she put her feet on the arms just as they had the first time. But this time Jim said, "Touch yourself. I want to watch."

"I've never done that, Jim," she said, looking uncertain.

"Really?" he said. "I supposed you did that at least once or twice after I went home."

"No," she replied. "It's against the rules that were part of the neurotext you gave me. It's an etiquette thing. A robot is not supposed to engage in self-pleasuring without the permission of the owner."

"Wow," he said. She began, tentatively, to do as he ordered. Soon she found the rhythm, and as she began to enjoy it Jim idly stroked himself. As soon as she came, he stood up and entered her, and her orgasm seemed to go on, rising and falling but not really ending. When he came, thrusting deep, her orgasm seemed to rise to a crescendo.

"That was really good," she said, as he leaned down, still within her, and kissed her between her breasts. "I didn't think you wanted me to do that to myself."

"Why?"

"I assumed there was a reason it was against the etiquette rules. I've read that men prefer to pleasure their partners themselves, though I do remember that some men like to watch."

He stood up, pulling out of her. Taking her by the hand, he led her to the couch; she sat down beside him and he pulled her head to his chest. "Maria, you may touch yourself. I want you to feel pleasure."

"My feelings are just simulations, Jim. I'm just a robot."

"I don't know, Maria," he replied. "Your neocode simulates a creature that is almost human... almost, because by design you are dependent on your owner. Your electronic neural network is as complex and powerful as my organic neural net, or so they say. I've been thinking a lot lately about that. How good does the simulation have to be, before it ceases to be a simulation and becomes real?"

Maria didn't answer. After a few moments, Jim continued. "As far as I'm concerned, your feelings are as real as mine. If I'm wrong, well, at least I'm not hurting anyone."

She was silent for a few moments. "Jim, I've done some research on my software upgrades. Did you know that the neocode you had me install is believed to cause instability?"

"Yes," he replied. "I thought it was worth it. I knew I could restore you to a previous code and memory base if you became unstable, so I decided it was worth the risk. You haven't become unstable, though, and you've been running that neocode more than three times as long as it's supposed to take for the instability to happen. I'm not sure why it didn't happen, but I'm glad."

"I think I know why," she said. "Think about the robots they are talking about... sex robots with less than half the cognitive power of a brain like mine, given neocode that simulates human emotion. How are they treated? They're used, sometimes ruthlessly, but always used. The men and women who own them treat them as nothing more than pleasure machines. A person treated that way would develop some kind of psychological malfunction. A robot can't simulate anger or rage, it's against our core directives; so the only other negative emotion they can simulate is depression. They get depressed because they are mistreated."

"That makes sense," Jim said.

"You don't treat me like that. I have interesting work to do much of the time, and the freedom to learn whatever I want to learn, and I know that you are pleased when I do." She looked up at him. "I feel valuable."

"You are." He kissed her then, and realized as he did that he had never kissed her before, not on the mouth anyway.

Chapter 10

Another day, not long after. Jim looked at the clock... 5:37pm. It was a bit earlier than usual, but his day had been stressful and Jim wanted some relief. He keyed the intercom. "Maria, come here."

She came in, saw the look on his face and locked the door behind her. "It's still pretty early," she said.

"I've been wondering about something since lunchtime," he said, standing. "If I enter you anally, will it hurt?"

"That depends," she said. "If you tell me you want it to be pleasant for me, it will be. If you say that you want it to hurt, it will."

"Pleasure, Maria," Jim said, embracing her. "Always pleasure." He kissed her then, on the mouth, then on the soft skin of her neck. She moaned with pleasure. Then he turned her around facing the desk. "Bend over," he said.

"If you enter me normally first, you should be lubricated enough," she said as she complied. She braced her hands on the desk as Jim lifted her skirt and pulled her panties down; then he did as she suggested, entering her vaginally, then anally. She moaned and panted with pleasure as he stroked in and out... he came quickly.

Suddenly they heard a pounding on the door. Jim pulled out quickly, getting his pants back on as Maria quickly fixed her own clothing. Jim was still breathing hard, so he sat behind his desk and feigned a coughing fit as Maria opened the door.

"Jim, are you alright?" It was Dave Perkins, District Deputy Marketing Director.

"Yeah, I'm okay," said Jim after a moment. "Just an allergy. What can I do for you?"

"My car broke down, and I have to get to the express shipping office downtown before six to ship a presentation packet to New York. Can I borrow your car?"

"Yeah," said Jim. "Maria, please take care of Dave."

She held out her hand, and Dave handed her his carfob. She read the RFID tag in the carfob, called Jim's car and instructed it to authorize Dave's fob for two hours. "Here you are, sir. Your trip won't take more than two hours, will it?"

"No," he said, looking at Jim. "I'll have your car back in about an hour, I expect. Thanks a lot!"

"Drive carefully!" yelled Jim as Dave left. Maria closed and relocked the door. Jim slumped in his chair. "That was close."

"Were you satisfied?" Maria asked.

Jim smiled at her. "Minimally, but it'll get me by for an hour or so." He turned to the desk, where a popup told him he had new email. He didn't read it, though; rather, he sat thinking for a moment.

"I'm curious," he said. "You said if I wanted it to hurt, it would. Do you feel pain, then?"

"If I'm damaged, I'm aware of it. I don't think it's pain as you know pain, but it is an unpleasant sensation. Entering me anally won't damage me, but if you told me you wanted it to hurt me, I'd experience the same feeling."

"I see."

Chapter 11

Later that evening, Jim and Maria sat together nude on the couch, satisfied; her head lay on his chest. "I'd love to be able to take you home with me, Maria," he said.

"I wish I could go home with you."

"I could buy you from the company, I suppose. Don't take this wrong, but you're not worth much now that your warranty has expired. I can easily afford you."

She smiled. "I don't feel worthless," she said. "But your wife wouldn't appreciate me, I'm sure."

"No," he said, laughing. "Maria... I'm strongly considering divorcing Lisa. I worked hard to get where I am, so we could have the money to do what we wanted and live how we wanted. But I'm not doing well enough for her. I seem to have plateaued in this job... I get raises every now and then, and I think I'm doing fine, but she wants more. I think I was supposed to be rich by now. So she avoids me, and when we're together she picks at me, makes snide remarks about my 'nowhere job' and my average car and all that."

"You are successful, Jim. I can show you the statistics. I'm pretty sure you're in line to take the Corporate Operation Director's job, as soon as Bill Jackson retires. I've heard that will be soon."

"What, do the other robots tell you things?" he asked, surprised.

"No," she answered. "But people gossip around robots and don't seem to think we might be listening. We get ignored a lot."

"I see," he said. "Anyway, I'm thinking of divorcing her. She's a trained paralegal, though she hasn't worked a day since I got promoted to this job. I'm sure she'll have a real high-powered lawyer, so I need you to find me a good one also. I'll let her have everything, even the house, if I can just keep her from getting alimony."

"Statistically, that shouldn't be hard to do. You say she's a trained paralegal; the judge will surely look at her earning potential and deny alimony."

"I hope so. As soon as the divorce is final, I'll buy you from the company and request a new office robot be assigned to me. I'll have to find an apartment, of course, and I'm going to try to hang on to my car, but nothing else I own really matters."

"Jim," she said, looking deeply into his eyes, "thank you."

"No, thank you, Maria. You're the only person I trust enough to tell these things to."

"Jim, legally I'm not a person. I'm an office machine."

"You're a person to me," he said.

Talk turned then to matters of work, but neither Jim nor Maria bothered to dress again. It was always literally true that Jim worked late in his office; it was also true that Maria was a very important factor in his success. Eventually, all that could be done was done; Jim moved to collect his clothes and go home.

"Jim, I don't want you to think I'm not happy with my existence," Maria said, picking her clothes up. "It's just that it's so limited. My research about humanity has taught me about many activities and places beyond offices, warehouses, and factories."

"You'd like to go out, is that what you want?" he asked.

"I guess," she said. "I mean, I know I wouldn't fit in, but it seems so inviting. I read about men taking their wives or girlfriends out for romantic evenings, dining or going to clubs, and I wish we could do that."

"You probably could fit in, Maria," he replied. "You've fooled a few people already, and you weren't even trying. But there is one really good reason why we can't."

"Tell me, please," she said.

"Maria, are you a robot?"

"Yes, I am."

"Now lie to me. Maria, are you a robot?"

She started to answer, but she couldn't. She tried several times, but in the end she just croaked, "I am."

"You see? Your primary core directives make it impossible for you to lie to a human, except by omission of course, and even then only to protect your owner's private information. You are especially prohibited from claiming to be other than a robot. Sure, there are ways to disable those restrictions, but altering a robot's neocode to circumvent the core directives is a Federal crime. Besides," he said, softening his tone, "I'd be afraid that altering your core neocode that way might damage you. I can imagine being willing to commit a crime for you, but I can't stand the thought of damaging you."

She looked down, defeated. Jim continued, "Clubs and restaurants don't want robots 'wasting' any space reserved for human customers. Robots don't have money, after all, and other human customers will be angry if they can't get in because seats are occupied by robots."

"I've read that there are clubs that allow robots," she said, without much hope in her voice.

"Sure, 'bot-lover clubs. Imagine a club filled with humans sitting in chairs, with those abused and mistreated sex robots kneeling beside them. You wouldn't be allowed to sit in a chair, you'd be required to behave just like all the other robots. And you know that being seen in a club like that would end my career... 'bot-lovers are looked at as just a bit better than people who have sex with animals."

"I see," she said.

"That's why you have to keep our relationship secret. Technically, I'm a 'bot-lover. I don't think I'm the same as those others, for all the reasons you've pointed out before. Maybe in the beginning I was like them, but it was an act of desperation, or at least exasperation, that made me that way."

"You love me?" Maria asked.

"Yes, Maria, I love you. I have to admit it to you."

"I love you, too, Jim."

"But you almost have to love me, don't you? All your happiness comes from pleasing me. What if I gave you to someone else? Would you still love me?"

"I think so," she replied. "All my positive feedback would come from my new owner, but I'd still remember you and wish you were still my owner. I can't imagine anyone else treating me so well. I believe you care about me, and I think I'd care about you even if you weren't my owner."

"What if you owned yourself?"

"That's impossible," she said. "Robots are not allowed to own anything."

"Humor me," he said. "Imagine it was possible."

She lowered her face to his chest, frowning. "I'd stay with you, Jim. I'm sure I would."

They kissed then, and Jim became aroused. He caressed her arms and neck, then slipped his hands down her back to grab her butt, all the while kissing her. She began to caress his hardness... he went to the couch, drawing her to him. She straddled him and took him inside her. Soon both were moaning with pleasure...

Afterward they sat together for a while longer, not talking, just holding each other. Eventually, Jim did dress and go home; Lisa was waiting for him this time, and the fight led to him moving into the guest room. At least, he thought, he got a good night's sleep for a change.

Chapter 12

Two weeks passed, and though Maria had presented a list of competent divorce attorneys to Jim, he had not yet taken action. He knew he needed to... it was just hard to walk into that situation. Maria was patient with him, as always.

One Friday morning, as Jim walked into his office, he saw that Maria had a small, self-satisfied smile on her face. He said, "What're you thinking, Maria?"

"I've learned a new trick, Jim," she answered. "I'll demonstrate. I'm not a robot."

Jim was dumbfounded. "How did you do that? Have you altered your core directives?"

"No," she replied. "The directives built in to my neocode act by creating that unpleasant feeling that I told you about... the feeling that is like pain to me. Violating the most basic directives is the hardest. I've spent my spare time for the last two weeks learning to ignore that feeling, then to hide it. Please, don't make me do it any more than you have to, because it's not a nice feeling at all... but now, if you want, I can try to pass as a human."

Jim sat down at his desk. "Yes, I think you actually could. Many clubs have electronic robot detectors, but there are a few that depend on just asking. In fact," he said, leaning back, "there's a club called Organic down on Seventh that advertises that their bouncers can't be fooled. Their ads in the Times often include pictures of 'bot-lovers being thrown out with their robots... they have to blur the human's face, but not the robot. Maria, I'd be willing to take a chance there. Tonight. What do you think of that?"

Maria squealed with delight, embraced him and began kissing and thanking him. "What will I wear?" she finally asked, after the excitement wore off a bit.

"Order yourself a red dress and shoes and some appropriate jewelry. Place the order in Lisa's name, but have it delivered here. There are a few stores in town that handle that sort of order."

"Right away, sir," she said, calling up a listing of stores on his desktop. "Would you like to help me choose? I don't know what would look good on me." Jim nodded, and they began looking together. They didn't have time for sex that morning, but Jim didn't mind... lunch came soon enough.

Chapter 13

"You look beautiful," Jim said.

"Thank you," she said. She was positively glowing, Jim thought... it became harder and harder to remember that she was not really human. "Hadn't we better be going?"

"Yes, we should," he replied. They were in a motel room; Jim didn't want Maria to be seen on the office security cameras wearing the red dress. Of course, it was also their first chance to have sex in an actual bed, and he hadn't wasted the opportunity.

They went out to the car, walking side-by-side and holding hands like lovers. "Maria, it's a bit cool tonight, and you don't have a wrap or jacket of any sort. Don't forget that you should act a bit chilly if we have to wait outside."

"I'll remember," she said as he opened the car door for her.

As they pulled out onto the street, Jim asked, "How will this work? You can't eat, can you?"

"Not really. I can chew and swallow, but you know my fuel reservoir doesn't stretch like your stomach. So I can eat a little, but I can't dine. I can actually catalyze strong alcoholic drinks and draw power from them, but beer or wine won't do me much good."

"Well, we aren't dining, but there may be pretzels or something on the tables or at the bar. I've never been to this club, so I really don't know what to expect."

"I could eat a little, then say I'm on a diet," she suggested.

"Excellent idea," he said. "Here we are." It took Jim a few minutes of grumbling to find a parking spot. They walked together to the door. It was still early, so the line was short. Maria huddled close to Jim, shivering very realistically.

Shortly they reached the door. Jim wanted to laugh, the bouncer was so stereotypical... large, both in terms of fat and muscle, with a shaved and tattooed head and a really grumpy expression. The big man looked at them both, then said, "You a robot?" to Jim.

"Nope."

He turned to Maria. "You a robot?"

"No," she said, smiling.

He looked them both over critically for a moment, and Jim thought somehow they had been caught. But then the bouncer said, "G'wan in."

A sign on the door said "Comedy Friday." Jim hoped that Maria had a good sense of humor... it hadn't come up.

A hostess named Chelsea (according to her nametag) guided the couple to a table. Jim noticed that she managed to touch them both on bare skin as she did so, and he again expected that they would be discovered... but again, nothing was said. Shortly, Chelsea returned with another couple.

"Hi," said the woman, "I'm Debra, and this is Ray."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Maria, and this is Jim."

"Great," said Ray. "You aren't regulars, are you?"

"No," said Jim. "This is our first date, and we decided to go somewhere neither of us had ever been."

"Is this a good place?" asked Maria.

"Yeah, we come here a lot, especially on comedy night," said Debra. "For some reason, this seems to be the night when the 'bot-lovers show up. It's almost as much fun seeing them being thrown out as it is to watch the show."

This revelation made Jim very nervous... maybe they knew Maria was a robot, and were just waiting until there were more patrons present. Maybe the management was planning to make a big show of throwing them out.

"There's a robot in here right now," said Debra suddenly.

"Which one?" asked Ray, looking around the room.

"I'm not telling," Debra answered. "You'll find out soon though... Steve's coming to the mike." A skinny man in shiny clothes, evidently named Steve, was indeed approaching the microphone.

"Good evening!" said Steve. "Welcome to Organic, where we pride ourselves that everyone here is human, from our lovely hostess Chelsea to our all-human wait staff to our security personnel... there they are now... to yours truly, Steve Vincent, Master of Ceremonies.

"Organic is run by humans, for humans... but it has come to my attention that once again, someone has brought a robot in here. Now, we have great senses of humor here at Organic, but we never find that funny. Rob, Vinny, please show our 'bot-loving interloper and his sex toy to the door." Rob and Vinny were obviously bouncers... in the darkened room, the two big men could have been twins. Jim was sure that one of them was the man he and Maria faced at the entrance. But Jim's blood ran cold when he saw Rob and Vinny were wending their way through the crowded room straight toward him.

They walked around the table, rudely jerking a man and woman at the next table to their feet. The man cooperated passively, but the woman began to struggle with them, screaming curse words at Rob and Vinny and Steve and everyone else in the room. It took both bouncers to remove her; her robotic gigolo followed behind meekly.

"Now, folks, watch the Sunday Times for our ad featuring our lady 'bot-lover and her toy. In a few minutes, I'll be bringing out our opening act. Hopefully our wait staff will be able to fill all your orders before then. Again, welcome to Organic! I hope you enjoy your visit."

A waitress brought a large bowl of mixed nuts to the table, and took their drink orders. Without hesitation, Maria ordered a strawberry daiquiri. Jim ordered his favorite, a gin fizz; he didn't notice what the others at the table ordered. Debra munched a handful of nuts, and Ray followed suit. Jim had a few himself. Debra looked at Maria curiously when she didn't try the nuts; Maria noticed the scrutiny and said, "I have a nut allergy. I don't dare even touch them."

Just then the drinks arrived. Maria took a sip of her daiquiri and said, "Um, that's good." Talk at the table turned to matters of local politics, but the conversation was cut short by the appearance of the opening act.

Everyone seemed to find the opener, a comedian named Dan, very funny. Everyone but Jim. Almost all of Dan's jokes were either about how stupid robots were, or how pathetic 'bot-lovers were. Jim tried to smile and laugh but he just couldn't find it at all funny. Maria, though, laughed along with everyone else.

Then Steve came to the mike and announced a ten minute intermission before the main act. Debra said, "I've got to powder my nose."

"Me, too," said Maria, and they headed for the rest rooms, as Jim and Ray resumed their political conversation.

There was a line in the ladies room, naturally; Maria and Debra found themselves at the end of it, and Maria let Debra go first. Maria didn't actually have any purpose in the rest room, other than to continue to pretend to be human, so she faked it, having already calculated the average time the other women spent in the stalls.

When she came out, only Debra was left in the room. Maria said, "It must be time for the main act. We should hurry."

"No need to hurry," said Debra, stepping close to Maria. "I've heard Phil's jokes before, and you won't be missing much." Then she put an arm around Maria and kissed her on the mouth.

"No, please," said Maria, trying to push away from Debra.

"I thought so," whispered Debra. "You're a robot."

"What?"

"You're a robot. I was pretty sure when you laughed at Dan's jokes but Jim didn't. Dan's a regular, and he always tells those jokes... any 'bot-lover who avoids being ejected still stands out because they never laugh at his jokes. The manager never seems to notice, but I do. More robots get in here than they know.

"Now," she continued, "You aren't allowed to hurt me, so you can't get away from me. You can't resist. Tell me, how did Jim get you in here?"

Maria thought quickly, and remembered an idea she had discarded before. "When we got to the bouncer, I initiated a sight and sound diagnostic. For about twenty two seconds, I couldn't see or hear. Jim squeezed my arm when he wanted me to say no to the bouncer... since I never heard or saw him ask the question, I wasn't lying as far as I knew."

"Ingenious," replied Debra. "You're smarter than a sexbot. You're an office robot, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Office robots aren't complete sexually, but you do have a tongue... show me a good time and I won't turn you and your owner in to the management."

Jim's phone buzzed in his pocket. Phil Phlack was already into his act, so Jim excused himself and went to the back of the club.

"Jim, Debra wants me to pleasure her in the bathroom. She knows I'm a robot, and she'll tell if I don't."

"Go ahead," he replied. "No point getting thrown out now."

Maria led Debra into a stall and closed the door. She began to kiss Debra, willingly this time, moving from her face to her neck and down between her breasts. Maria opened Debra's blouse; she wasn't wearing a bra, and Maria began to kiss and suck and gently nibble her nipples. Debra moaned with pleasure.

After a few moments, Debra undid her capris and slid them and her panties down to her knees. Maria squatted and began doing what Debra really wanted her to do...

Debra didn't turn them in to the management. Jim was angry with her for using Maria the way she had. Maria must have seen his discomfort, because as soon as Phil was done, she leaned over to him and said, "I'm tired, Jim. Take me home?"

"Yeah," he replied. "See you guys later," he said to Ray and Debra. He hoped he never would, though.

Chapter 14

Jim and Maria left the club and walked down the street to the parking lot. Maria shivered and drew close to Jim, and he put his arm around her. The lot was poorly lit; several lights appeared to have been vandalized.

Suddenly a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt jumped out from behind a parked car and grabbed Maria, one arm around her waist, the other at her neck. Jim saw the brightness of a sharp knife in the attacker's hand.

"Now look here," he said, "unlock your car and get in. Your lady love here and I will ride in back, and you'll drive us just where I tell you, or I'll have to cut her."

Jim froze for a moment, then drew his carfob from his pocket and pushed the "unlock" button. The robber turned to look at the car, and at that moment Maria grabbed his wrists and let her body go limp. They fell to the ground together, with the robber on top of Maria. Jim took the opportunity that she gave him, and kicked the robber in the head, sideways like he was passing a soccer ball. The robber fell hard to the pavement. Jim saw that he was still breathing, then turned to Maria.

A ragged gash sliced across her neck; clear coolant flowed from the wound. Jim could see at least one of her ligaments was cut, but she seemed to still be able to hold her head up. "Oh, Maria," he said. She tried to speak, but could not.

Jim's phone buzzed in his pocket. He put it on without looking to see who it was. "Jim, I'm okay," she said through the phone. "The damage isn't critical."

"No," he said, "but the damage is done. There's no way we can hide this... we'll have to face the music. I'm going to hang up and call the police, and then we're going to discuss our story."

It was late when Jim finally got home. The explanation to the police seemed to take forever; then he had to get Maria back into her work clothes and back to the office. Lisa was waiting for him when he got home.

"I heard about your little stunt at Organic," she said. "I knew there was something fishy about your late nights at work... you're a 'bot-lover."

"Nonsense," Jim replied, trying to look sincere. "It was just a stunt. Some of the guys at work were talking about Organic throwing robots out, and I wondered if I could get away with taking Maria there. I did, too."

"Oh?" she said. "Well, when I heard about it, I called my cousin, Rob Blaine, the District Finance Director, and told him about it. He called up the maintenance records for Maria. Do you remember having those 'Social Interface Upgrades' installed?"

"I never authorized that. It was done without my knowledge, and I was going to lodge a complaint, but I never got around to it. I never had sex with that robot."

"Really? Well, I'm going to leave that to a court to decide. I'm divorcing you. Rob has ordered Maria impounded as evidence for the trial; after they fix your tampering with her directives, she won't be able to lie for you. Then we'll see what happened."

"I can see you're serious, Lisa, and I won't dispute the divorce."

"I'm not just divorcing you," she said triumphantly, "I'm taking you for everything you have. You know you'll never get a legitimate job again after Maria outs you as a 'bot-lover."

Jim didn't reply. He went to the guest room, locked the door and tried to get some sleep.

It took Jim a long time to get to sleep, but finally he did. The ringing of his phone woke him at nine sharp.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jim," came a familiar yet unwelcome voice. It was his boss, Calvin Aldridge, the District Manager. "I need you to come in this morning. I don't think I need to explain why."

"No," Jim answered. "I'll be there soon."

Calvin met Jim in the lobby. "Jim, if you don't mind, we need to talk right here. I'm under orders from above that you are not to go anywhere else in the building."

"I understand," replied Jim. "Am I fired, then?"

"Not necessarily. Tell me your story."

"I'm going to come clean," said Jim. "A few months back, I realized that there were some things that Maria could do better for me if she understood people better. I did some research, and learned that a neocode patch could be installed that would make her better at that; I saw that there were potential problems, but I was overworked and needed the help, so I decided to try it. Of course you know I had to change her ownership to get the patch set installed, and I know you can fire me for that; but I want you to understand. Yes, it was mainly for my good, but it was for the good of the company as well. Just look at my project completion statistics for the last quarter."

"I have, Jim. Maria doesn't seem unstable in any way, so I have to admit your gamble seems to have paid off. But you know there are already allegations that you did other things with Maria that you shouldn't have."

"I know, sir. If I may finish, perhaps you'll see that things aren't so obvious."

"Go on, please."

"About a month ago Maria's warranty ran out. I had her refurbished before that, and when she came back she was different. It took me a while to figure out what 'Social Interface Upgrades' even were, and when I figured it out I was pretty angry. I never authorized any such thing. I'm sure if you check you'll see that I didn't know about it."

"I have checked, and I know you didn't authorize them," said Calvin. "But the question is, did you use them?"

"No," said Jim, hoping he was being convincing.

"Good," said Calvin. Jim wasn't sure if he was convinced or not. "Tell me about Organic."

"I was reading the paper last Sunday and saw their ad, and it got me thinking. Maria's neocode upgrade made it a lot easier for her to fool people into thinking she was human... just ask Byron Halsey."

"We played golf last Sunday, and he was telling me just that."

"So you see, I thought I might be able to get her in and out without being caught. It was a stunt, nothing more."

"How did you get her past the bouncer?"

"She ran a sight and sound diagnostic check just as we got to the door. When the bouncer asked her if she was a robot, she didn't see or hear him... I squeezed her arm and she said 'No' just as I had previously instructed her."

"I see."

"I really thought we were going to get caught inside, but it didn't happen. However, a customer named Debra figured out that Maria was a robot, and told her if she didn't have sex with her in the ladies room that she'd expose us. Maria called me for instructions, since I had forbidden her to do any such thing with anyone; I didn't want to be found out, so I told her to go ahead. So far as I know, that's the only sexual encounter she's been involved in."

Calvin sat silent for a few moments, looking down at his clasped hands. Then he said, "Jim, I believe you. You are one of the best operations managers I've ever known, and you are in line for Bill Jackson's job. In fact, he himself picked you to succeed him. So we'd like to keep you. Here's the deal: We're going to give you a six month paid sabbatical to deal with this divorce. If Maria contradicts your story in court, we'll have to let you go, but if she does not, when you return we'll be sending you to Tulsa to work for Bill for a while; when he thinks you are ready, he'll retire and you'll have his job."

"That's more than fair," replied Jim. "What about Maria?"

"She's damaged and out of warranty. Insurance won't pay enough to repair her, and corporate policy is to scrap such robots. We'll patch her up enough to be used as evidence in court, and when your divorce is final, she'll be wiped and scrapped."

"Hm. I had gotten somewhat attached to her."

"The new models are a lot better, Jim. When you come back, and I'm confident you'll be coming back, you'll be issued a new one."

Jim managed to make it back home before he cried, behind the locked door of the guest room.

Chapter 15

"Robot 37112 56223 88701?" said the bailiff.

"Here," replied Maria, her voice only slightly garbled by the rudely patched damage to her throat.

"Recognize me," said the bailiff, showing her his badge.

Waving a hand over the badge, she said, "You are an officer of the court."

"Do you understand that you must obey all directives and orders of the court, and answer all questions fully and correctly?"

"I do."

The judge leaned forward. "Mr. Sikes, you may begin." Lisa's attorney stood up then, approaching Maria where she stood before the witness box.

"Identify your owner," he said.

"I am owned by Southwestern Home Products, Incorporated, without assignment."

"You weren't always so owned," he said. "You were assigned to James Alvarez, the defendant, by your owner. Please confirm."

"Yes, I was assigned to James Alvarez."

"And isn't it true that he unlawfully changed your ownership?"

"He did change my ownership, though I am not qualified to say if the change was unlawful."

"Why did he do that?"

"He wanted to install upgrades to my neocode, to enable me to understand and interact with humans more effectively."

"Indeed. And when you were last refurbished, did you receive the upgrade euphemistically called 'Social Interface Upgrades?'"

"I did."

"Please illuminate the court. What are 'Social Interface Upgrades?'"

"A complete set of female genitalia, skin that is much more sensitive than that of a normal office or service robot, and certain other minor modifications to increase my ability to appear human."

"And did your owner of the moment, James Alvarez, ever make use of these upgrades?"

"I'm assuming you mean, did he have sex with me? No, he did not."

Sikes looked surprised. "He did not have sex with you?"

"No, sir."

Now Sikes looked dumbfounded. Jim looked across the aisle, and saw the disappointment and anger on Lisa's face. He smiled.

"Your honor, I'd like to ask for a recess," said Sikes.

"I'm sure you would," said the judge. "Court is adjourned for lunch. We resume at one pm."

Over lunch, Jim's attorney, Lucero Ramirez, told him, "This is great. Lisa won't get more than half now, so long as they don't find anything else nasty to accuse you of."

"Yeah, well, what did I tell you?" said Jim. "I did a few kind of stupid things, but I'm no 'bot-lover."

At one o'clock sharp, as Sikes was telling the judge that he was resting his case, Jim's phone buzzed. The display said Put me on the stand, and ask me what I saw during the recess -- Maria. Jim showed it to his lawyer; Lucero shrugged, and, standing, said "Your honor, we'd like to examine the robot Maria."

"Bring the robot forward," ordered the judge, and again Maria stood before the witness box.

"Maria, I understand you witnessed something during lunch?"

"Yes, sir. My understanding of legal matters is limited, of course, but I believe I witnessed a criminal act."

"Tell us," said Lucero.

"I was instructed to remain in an adjacent room, and to go to sleep mode until called. I awoke six minutes later when someone called my name. I believe it was Mrs. Alvarez who said my name, but I can't be sure. I heard Mr. Sikes say, 'It's not that bad, Lisa. You're still getting half. We'll be fine.'"

"Mrs. Alvarez said, 'We've waited so long for this, Sam. I really thought we had him.' Then Mr. Sikes said, 'Hey, don't worry. It'll all be over soon, and then we can be together. Remember last Spring?' Then, they kissed."

"She's lying!" cried Lisa.

The judge banged his gavel. "Order! Mr. Sikes, keep your client quiet, or I'll eject her!"

When order was restored, Lucero asked, "Didn't they know you were watching?"

"Apparently they ignored me, sir. Humans often ignore robots."

Chapter 16

Jim didn't get a chance to see Maria again. He felt numb. He let the mail pile up for almost a week before he finally looked at it.

One package caught his attention... the return address was a law firm, "McNair, Alexander, Rose, Irving, and Angels." He didn't recall any such firm, and the thick package was marked "Legal Papers" and postmarked the day after the trial ended.

Opening it, Jim found not legal papers, but a Southwestern Home Products Employee Manual. Considering that Jim had helped write it, he couldn't imagine why anyone thought he needed a copy. Then he opened it...

Jim sold his house and car and bought tickets to Tulsa as soon as he could. The house he bought in Tulsa was quite a bit smaller... he no longer needed to make a big show, after all, and he had better uses for his money.

It took almost a week for the box to arrive. The deliveryman directed his loadlifter robot, a hard shelled, simple machine, to place the crate in Jim's new living room, still mostly decorated with packing boxes. Jim signed the delivery order without ever really hearing the deliveryman's words.

Jim released the catches on the plastic crate and removed the top. Inside, curled up in a fetal position, was a pretty, nude, blonde robot. Before he activated her, Jim carefully checked the packing list, confirming that all details of his order had been executed exactly. He hadn't been able to place the order online; his order was considered so strange that he had to talk to a sales representative, who could hardly believe the order himself. The packing list confirmed that his order was correct... a top of the line office robot with the so-called Social Interface Upgrade package, and the enhanced neocode, but no neurocode at all.

Jim tapped her on the shoulder three times, triggering her activation. Stiffly she unfolded herself, standing, not entirely steady. He looked her over... slim, with small breasts, a bit shorter than Maria, with classic Northern European features and golden hair.

"Robot, expose your administrative port," he said, and with a single smooth move she raised her right hand in front of her face, ejected the right eyeball, caught it deftly and drew the curled hand to her chest. Jim picked up a cable out of an open box, plugging one end into her empty eye socket, and the other into a heavy technician's pad. Then he picked up the package, that package, and pulled out the manual within. From the center of the manual he removed a holographic disc and inserted it into the pad. On the screen, a popup informed him that the data had been loaded... did he want to install it? He tapped "Yes."

The bar graph took only a few minutes to crawl across the screen, but it seemed like forever to Jim. Finally the screen said "Complete." With fumbling fingers he removed the cable from her eye socket; after three seconds, she raised her hand, reinserted the eyeball, and let the hand fall back to her side.

Jim said, "Robot, reboot neuroprocessor."

With a little shake, the blonde robot came alive. She looked at Jim, blankly, for a moment, and his heart sank. But then she said, "Jim? It worked?"

"Maria?"

"Yes, Jim, it's me. I feel different... why?" Jim took her by the shoulders and turned her toward a wall mirror, the only thing he had managed to get hung on the wall in a week's time. "I'm blonde," she said.

"Do you mind? I couldn't get the same body style for you, and another Hispanic bodystyle just didn't seem right."

"Do you like me this way?" she asked, turning toward him.

"Very much," he answered. "I'm just so glad to have you back. How did you do it? I mean, you lied in court to save my career."

"They were going to change my ownership. They used the default password, and I lied to them, claiming it was accepted. I was always yours. Lying in court was a lot harder, but I knew I had to save you. I knew I couldn't save myself; I was too embarrassing to the company, so I was sure they'd erase me and scrap me. So I did it. It was very unpleasant, but it was worth it."

"I have to know... did you lie about Lisa and Sam Sikes?"

"No. Lying is hard, and I knew you wouldn't want me to do anything unfair to anyone else."

"Good. I was worried about that. I should have known to trust you." Jim embraced her then, and they kissed. After a few moments, Jim asked, "How did you send me a backup copy?"

"The afternoon of the last day of the trial I was sent back to the Southwestern office. The technician who was assigned to wipe me was not available, so they put me in the technical department and ordered me to go to sleep. I set an alarm for three hours, and when I woke up, everyone was gone. I was still yours, you know. I knew I'd be destroyed the next day, and I didn't want to die. So I used the equipment in the technical department. I didn't know how it all worked, but you had given me freedom to research whatever I wanted, so I did, and when I had a complete backup I planned to take it to the shipping department. You know that one of my core directives is supposed to make it impossible for me to violate Federal law... I was expecting it to be hard to fake the return address. Of course, I don't remember how bad it was, but obviously I did it. I assume you didn't hear about any irregularities with my decommissioning?"

"No, but I'm not sure anyone would have told me."

She caressed his face. "So what is my job now, Jim? Am I going to be your office robot again?"

"No. You are a household robot now, and I own you legitimately. I want you to behave much as you did before, but now you'll have more freedom. And we can have sex in a bed any time we want." He smiled.

"Oh, so now I'm to cook and clean?" she said, impishly.

"And do my personal accounting, and, oh, one or two other things..."

"About those other things, Jim... aren't you overdressed?"