Gold Clause

What a beautiful rainbow. “ Ouch! Oh, excuse me mister. Are you alright?”

“No harm done, me lady.”

A Leprechaun? Cha-ching! “Wait! Where are you going?”

“Me gold isn’t safe around your kind. So long.”

“Aaw, Aren’t you just about the cutest little man I’ve ever seen? What’s your name, handsome?”

“For real lassie, ye think me’s cute?”

“Oh yes, and your pointy little ears are adorable. May I?”

“Well..uh..”

“They are so soft.”

“ Hehe! No one’s ever rubbed me ears before.”

“What else could I rub for you?”

“How about me back? It hurts from lugging around me pot of gold.”

“Alright, how’s that feel?”

“Oooh...Ahhh..Yeah that’s it..A tad lower.”

“So, it’s pretty big then, huh?”

“What? Oh! Me pot of gold. He he! Yes, one of the biggest.”

“How did your pot get so big?”

“I didn't fall for the trickery of others who tried to take it from me, and today I‘ve found the best hiding spot in forest. Aaah..You’re sure good with ye hands, lassie.”

“And where would that be?”

“Oh no girlie, I ain’t bein’ fooled so easy now.”

“Don’t you want to find a good woman to settle down with and share your gold?”

“Share me gold! Ha haa ha. That's a might funny, it is."

"You wouldn't share your gold with..uh.. wife? I know I'd make a nice wife for some lucky leprechaun."

"Oh lassie, You be a might good at rubbin' me places, but there's be a lot more duties for a leprechaun's wife."

"Like what? I'm good at many things."

"How about shinin' me buckles or cookin' me up some frog legs? Do ye think a young thing like you might be good at those things?"

"Oh yes."

"Let me ponder on it a few." Let's see, she has got some nice chest nuggets, almost as pretty as me gold. Her voice is a might beautiful. Could be good for singin' me to sleep.

"Well?"

"I've made me decision.Let's get hitched."

"Really?"

"Enough with all the huggin' and kissin'. First, ye got to sign a Gold Clause."

"What's that?"

"It's for me own protection, so ye may never get yer hands on me gold."

"But..But I thought husbands and wives shared everything."

"A leprechaun never shares his gold."

"What about if you were to, you know, croak?"

" Hahaha! That's a might funny lassie. Don't you understand a leprechaun's gold is his whole life, and when I die, me gold gets buried right along with me."

"Couldn't someone just come and dig it up, that is, if they knew where it was?"

"Only if they be wantin' a curse to follow 'em for the rest of their days. A curse so horrible that it'd turn a pretty thing like you into a skanky witch. All the gold in the world wouldn't buy ye any companionship."

"Well little man, it's been nice knowing ya. Bye"

"Where ye goin' pretty lassie? I thought you wanted to be my..?"

"Ah forget it, and you can stop wiggling those things. Those are the ugliest, deformed excuses for ears I've ever seen."

"Well, at least I still have me gold. It may not rub me ears, but just the very sight of those shiny nuggests makes me happy."


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