Amanda Rights

"Please place your little baby hands on each side of the stroller. You are under arrest for Grand Heart Theft and Drive By Drooling. I will now read your Amanda-Lynn Rights to you:

You have the right to hold your breath until you turn blue

Anything cute and embarrassing you say will be used against you when you introduce us to your dates

You have the right to consult your imaginary friend as you sit in the corner, and to have your older sibling present to point and laugh at you

If you are denied any candy or toy you desire, you will be reminded that you have similiar candy/toys at home.

If you decide to stop holding your breath, you have the right to begin pouting at any time until you get what you wanted.

You have the right to have these rights explained to you in baby talk, rhyme, or sung to the tune of “This Old Man” until you have memorized them well enough to repeat at high volume during car rides and in crowded, public places."