Karlin

2,004 words



“No… no I won’t do it.”

“You have to… you will.”

“No, no I won’t… I… I can’t.”

Karlin ran both hands through his hair and paced his room. The rings under his eyes were the color of his heart, sick, dark gray and shiny like sewage. Fifty-two hours without sleep or shower had turned his room into a dank and littered stink hole. Magazines were torn apart and strewed across the floor while empty soda cans and dirty dishes sat haphazardly attracting roaches and ants. His bed was overturned and the mattress lay in the middle of the floor. He let out a desperate moan and fell headlong into the beaten pallet. Seconds later a knock came at the door.

“Kar? Kar are you in there sweetie?”

Karlin’s eyes snapped open and turned to his door. He blinked and sprang to his feet, catching the door just as it swung open. He pressed himself against the pivoting lumber to prevent its opening and moved his head around to address the intruder.

“Kar? You alright honey?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine…” He let out a shaky laugh. “W-what, er, why do want to, uh… what’s wrong?”

The middle-aged brunette wrinkled her brow and crossed her arms, giving up on trying to force her way into the room. “You’re acting awfully strange Karlin, are you sure you’re alright?”

Karlin felt his gut unclench a fraction as the pressure was taken off the door. He shortened the gap another two inches and tried to smile.

“It’s uh… you know, I’m just happy to be… I mean… well…”

The hard female face softened its tone. “It’s summer… I know baby, you really should go out and be with your friends, you know? Get some air.”

“Yeah, right, my friends… thanks mom… I’ll uh, make some calls.”

“That’s a good boy, can I make you some lunch? A nice big bowl of cream-of-wheat? My baby loves his cream-of-wheat, mmmmmm.” She rubbed her stomach in mock gesture.

“I’m really not hungry…” Before he could utter another word he closed his lips in a tight locked line. He felt like he would tackle her to the floor and beat her senseless if she stayed there much longer.

“Ok sugar, well… you let me know if mommy can make you something, okay?”

“Okay.” He managed and shut the door before another reply could be spoken.

He backed away from the door slowly to make sure she did not attempt another entry. As he stepped blindly in reverse his heel caught the mattress and sent him down on his rear. The landing knocked his wind out, but more from shock than from impact. He caught his breath and inhaled deep, exhaling like a deflating balloon and burying his face in his arms crossed around his knees.

“You know she’s not your real mother.”

“I know.”

“Kill her.”

Karlin bit into his forearm at the sound of these words, until he couldn’t stand the pain any longer.

“Kill her, Karlin.”

“Shut up!”

“Kill her, kill her, kill her, killher killer killer killer killerkillerkillerkillerkillerkiller”

“Shut up! Stop it!” He sprang up once again, grabbing his head in both hands as demented laughter filled the room. The laughter taunted and mercilessly tormented the frayed and sensitive edges of his mind.

He looked around the room with his teeth clenched together. Everything was distorted and disproportioned. The walls laughed at him, the ceiling laughed at him and when he covered his head his eyes trailed to the floor, which was laughing at him as well. In desperation and despondency he violently kicked the lamp that was sitting on his floor and it shattered into oblivion.

“Enough!”

Everything fell silent. Karlin wore the visage of a rabid animal. His breathing was labored as if forced through a pinhole. He looked down to his hands, his palms facing up. They were dirty and stained. He thought of the acts he had committed with those hands, the acts they had yet to commit. His heart seemed to beat too fast and he could hear it pulsing in his ears. He couldn’t calm down, even though everything was now silent. Especially since everything was now silent. Through the lack of noise he could hear the baby crying, it wailed as if it were starving to death and wallowing in its excrement.

Karlin blinked and shook his head. The baby wailed on, like it was cursing Karlin despite its lack of speech. There was anger and resentment in the baby’s cry, it hated Karlin and it hated its life. Karlin ran a hand down his long face. Suddenly he had a need. He moved to the dresser that only held two of its drawers, opening the topmost drawer and rummaging through its contents. An ocean of scattered junk was nestled inside, making the finding of anything seemingly impossible. His fingers clasped around what they were after, however, and he moved back to the mattress collapsing on his backside. He fiddled with the clear plastic baggy, un-wrinkling the balled up mass to view its contents.

The baggy held a transparent substance, white around the edges. He eyed the bag with scrutiny for a few seconds before reaching to his left. On the floor by the mattress lay a hollowed out light bulb. The round top was black and burnt while the metal base was carved out giving passage to the pen casing that lay inside of it. He took the light bulb and drew out the pen shell with his lips. He wiped the glass enclosure against his yellow undershirt to rid it of the excess black soot. When satisfied, he took his thumb and forefinger and separated a piece of the baggy’s contents through the plastic. He proceeded to tilt the bag, dropping the segment he wished into the hollow bulb.

His next action became frantic as he dug his hand into his pocket in search for something. Unable to find it he whipped his head around searching the room. His eyes became distressed and angry, unable to attain the last item he needed to complete his action. He rose to his feet, being careful with the bulb in one hand and the baggy in the other. The pen casing was still between his lips as he moved from his tattered desk back to his dresser. He searched the floor and moved the mattress away with his foot to look underneath. The baby was crying again. It screamed out of hoarse lungs, but determined to be heard. It sounded as if it were in complete misery, demanding either comfort or death. Karlin’s gut clinched up, denied by something so trivial.

He needed to find it. He moved to his door and then on a second thought, he carefully set down the light bulb and the baggy. Departing to the hallway and closing his door behind him, he crossed into the living room, which was in shambles. The baby’s crying only became louder and more pronounced. He was heading to the kitchen when a young woman walked out of it holding a cigarette between her fingers. Her dirty blonde hair was wild and uncombed and her teeth were caked with yellow as she spoke.

“Where are you goin?” She said and took her stance in the doorway of the kitchen as if defending her domain.

“I need a lighter...” He said and realized he still had the pen casing in his lips as he mouthed the words.

Karlin cursed himself inside for forgetting to remove it. He quickly took it from his mouth and pocketed the former ballpoint.

“You holdin out on me?” She asked, her brow narrowing.

“What? Shut up, you got a lighter or not? I need a cigarette.”

“Cigarette… don’t gimme that… you’re holding out on me.” She moved towards him, smoke trailing from her nostrils. “Don’t hold out on me… let me see.”

“Back off!” he shouted and backhanded her across the face. She cried out, dropping her cigarette and bringing a hand to her face.

“You stupid faggot! You idiot!” She was almost postured to strike at him, but then thought better of it.

Karlin moved to her, roughly gripping the sleeve of her dirty flannel shirt.

“Just shut up and give me your lighter.”

She twisted violently in attempt to get away from him. “Let me go! I don’t have one!”

“You have one… give it to me now!” He started digging his fingers into the tattered pockets of her cut off denim shorts.

“I don’t! I don’t have one! Get off me! Get…”

Karlin pulled the transparent green lighter from her shorts and shoved her away. She looked at him in contempt. He looked back in frightening malice, his eyes wide and almost trembling, the look of derangement. She was about to scream more at him when he started moving closer. She held her tongue and cowered further against the wall. The look of murder was in his eyes again.

“You lied to me…”

“No… I… I just didn’t know it was in there Kar…”

“Don’t ever lie to me again!” He grabbed the collar of her shirt and slapped her hard, making her head snap back and hit the wall.

She slid down to the ground holding her face and sobbing. Karlin headed back to his room. The baby wailed and screeched stabbing through Karlin’s ears like a steal rod. He slammed his fist against the wall before he entered the hallway.

“And go see to that baby! It’s driving me nuts!”

He slammed the door to his room and sat on the filthy mattress. Picking up the bulb he checked the contents and then fired up the lighter and held it just underneath. The contents melted and turned to liquid almost immediately. In seconds the substance began to boil inside the bulb and with the pen casing back between his lips, he stuck it inside and inhaled. Before he could even finish the hit there was banging at his bedroom door.

“I know you’re holding out on me! I know you are you bastard!”

Karlin quickly sucked up the remaining smoke from the bulb and as a result began to choke and cough violently. The door swung open and the woman came in holding a large kitchen knife.

“Give it to me!” She advanced on him but he had dropped the unit.

Still coughing he rose to his feet and grabbed hold of her wrist as she tried to bring the knife down on him. His other hand grasped her throat and he forced her back and into the hall. Karlin pressed her against the wall, his fingers sinking into her throat ceasing her breathing. Her face began to turn blue and she dropped the knife. The baby wailed louder. Karlin reached down and picked up the knife. The front door burst open with a crash and three armed and uniformed men ran in with their weapons drawn.

“Police! Drop your weapon!”

Karlin threw the woman down and with a loud cry raised the knife above his head and ran towards the officers. Three rounds were fired and Karlin fell, dying before he hit the ground.

~

A tall black man in regular clothes held the dirty eight-month-old infant gently and balanced a bottle provided by the neighbor. Another uniformed man approached him and nodded respectively.

“All cleared detective… all three bodies have been identified and the wagon’s here.”

“Good… how long had they been dead?”

“We can assume the mother was killed months ago… but the wife, much more recent… within the last week I’d say.”

“He was holding the corpse by the throat when we came in…” The detective shook his head. “A real sicko… this little guy was in a crib covered in garbage… not just clutter… but like somebody dumped the kitchen waste basket on him.”

“He was likely unattended to since the mother was killed.”

The detective shook his head. “What goes on in the minds of these low life junkies anyway?”

“God only knows.”