Backyard Conversation

Backyard Conversation

Note: The alien dialogue is just a rough translation.

“Carl! Are you still out on the back porch? What are doing back there?”

“There’s a spaceship in our backyard, Martha.”

“Have you been eating those terrible mushrooms again?”

“Nooooo.”

“Well, if you have been, you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Hey! A Big Foot and a Kraut helmut on wheels are coming out of the spaceship. I’m going out to talk to them.”

“Are you out of your mind? Get back in here before you catch cold.”

“I’ll see what they want. It won’t take long.”

“Carl!... Sometimes I think that man believes his stupid jokes.”

“Squuuek squekkkky squeak.”--- “Howdy. We come in peace.”

“That’s a real cool spaceship you have.”

“Squeeeak ssqquek. Ssquety squek squak?”--- “We’d like some food. Do you have fruit and oil?”

“I think some machine oil would fix that squeak. I got some in the house. Wait here. Martha would have a cow if she saw you.”

“Squekk, ssqueaakk. Squeaky.--- “Stay, Cheeta. Sit.”

“Carl, what were you doing out there. I heard some squeaky sounds.”

“That was the Kraut helmut. It needs some oil for those squeaks, and Big Foot could use some bananas, I guess.”

“How long are you going to keep up this nonsense?”

“As long as they stay out there, I guess.”

“Take as long as you like. You’re sleeping on the couch.”

“I’ll get something to prove it.”

Suek, sqeaekku sqeaakky.--- “Ah, it’s bringing something.”

“Hey, Big Foot, you look awesome with that helmut on your noggin. Here, I’ll leave these on the lawn. Help yourself.”

Squak, ssqueaakk. Squik squooky. Squak! Skquk ssqueaakk skquk.”--- “No, Cheeta. Put bananas down. No! Bad Cheeta bad.”

“You love bananas, don’t you? Hey, take it easy on the oil.”

Squeem! Ssqueaakk, ssqqueku. Squek.--- “Delicious! Cheeta, give me a five. Let’s go.”

“Hey, wait guys. I need something to show the old lady.”

“Ssqueaakk, squeekka squeaaakyy.”- Cheeta, give it one of our souvenirs.”

“Thanks, guys. Bon voyage.”

“Martha, they’re gone. They gave us a crystal sculpture. It’s probably made of diamond or has some fantastic function.”

“Nice try, Carl. Next time scrape off Made in China.”