Brotherhood of Holiday Characters

Father Time stepped up on the podium and banged his gavel. “This meeting of the Fraternal Brotherhood of Holiday Characters will now come to order. Let’s begin.” Everyone was quieted except for the wailing in the back. “Could someone please give Baby New Year his pacifier?”

Once it was quiet, “Welcome back, Holiday Characters. We know that you all are busy. We thank Cupid for the suggestion last year of moving the meetings to June.”

Santa Claus stood up, “I’d just like to say that I, for one, would’ve liked to have the meeting in January instead. I’m a fat man and the summer months are rough for me.” He mopped his brow with a washcloth.

“I am sorry about that, Nick. But we took a vote. Okay, any new business?”

“This isn’t exactly new business,” a timid voice said.

“I’m sorry?” Father Time peered out over the crowd. “Could you come forward so that we can hear you?”

Fluttering forward, the Tooth Fairy hovered over the microphone and cleared her throat. “I’d just like to thank you all for allowing me to join the Brotherhood. Every since the Meeting for Magical Characters closed, I haven’t anywhere to go. I just wanted to say that.” Everyone applauded and the Tooth Fairy, red faced, fluttered back to her tiny seat.

“You’re certainly welcome, Tooth. We hope you find the Brotherhood to meet your needs. As always, I expect nothing but kindness towards our new member. Okay, any old business?” The crowd murmured but no one responded.

“Alright, next order of business, the treasury. Lucky, how are our funds looking this year?”

The leprechaun rose from his seat, “Em, me thinks that we are okay.”

Father Time sighed audibly. “You think we are okay? Lucky, where is the money?”

“Don’t you be worrying about that there, Laddy. We be having enough for that cruise in August.”

“Very well, but I’m warning you Lucky, if you have buried that money at the end of the rainbow and can’t find it again…” he shook his head irritably at the leprechaun. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll open the floor up to discussion and issues. Cupid, you have a question?”

“Do we have money in the budget for some new arrows? The ones that I have are starting to rust and I’ve had several people develop nasty infections which can really hinder a love life.”

Father Time looked towards the back at Lucky who was helping himself to some beer. “Yes, I believe we can do that. I’ll get them ordered for you.” Cupid nodded and took his seat.

“I have a complaint.”

“Great Pumpkin, you have the floor.”

“Well the problem is that since the rise of Spongebob, Yu Gi Oh!, and game systems, reading is becoming obsolete. With reading becoming less and less popular, kids today don’t really know who I am from the Peanuts specials. Any idea how I can increase my coverage?”

Father Time started to answer but the Tooth Fairy fluttered forward, “Excuse me, Father, I think I have an answer to this. I have some contacts at the national newspapers and I could throw a suggestion their way of a special Great Pumpkin issue or large comic strip.”

Father Time nodded, obviously impressed. “Do you think they will do it?”

The Tooth Fairy grinned. “Yes. They owe me a favor.”

The Great Pumpkin looked gratefully at the Tooth Fairy, “I would really appreciate it. The wife and I had a rough year last year.”

Father Time looked out over the group, “If there’s nothing else, before we dismiss, we have an update on the Easter Bunny who, as you all know, was shot by hunters last month. He is doing much better and was released from the hospital. He has made the decision to retire and his son, Junior, will take over the family business. Junior is in training and was unable to be here tonight but sends his regards. Bunny’s retirement party will be held in two weeks and he hopes you will all be there. We’ll go ahead adjourn with that since Baby New Year needs a diaper change.” Several members agreed holding their nose. “Adjourned!”


*699 words*