The Devils Advocate

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The Devils Advocate

Eternal Life!  Really, eternal life, that’s the big reward?  Give me a break!  That is why I have been versed to recite prayers, and participate in rituals; the eating and drinking of flesh and blood?  Eternal life huh?  With a “clean mind, heart and soul”, that is the reward attained; ETERNAL LIFE.

Well I really do have to say that there have been many occasions, and when I say many, I mean it, in the thousands, when living this life I have I want to see the end of.  Truly I say that there have been times that I don’t even want to continue this life, let alone ETERNAL life! 

Now I know that those few words may shock.  The words concerning the lack of motivation to continue the life I live daily. 

Eternal life was the last bloody thing I could have possibly wished upon myself, or anyone around me.  From the living model, the dreads of life are great; that is reality.  For the most part each of us has, to use the scientific vernacular, “environmental” events, that mold us into what we are at this moment, as you read these words.  And I have to say that the life experience I’ve molded myself into, is not a fun game with roses and fields and meadows of sprawling green grasses.  It is akin to a rusty cage with inches thick rusting metal bars, padlocked, with chains surrounding it from all sides; completely void of light. With two warriors fighting to the death; both wearing my insignia; me.

Eternal life, wow, this life has so much darkness.  I have pondered its catastrophic impact, and been lost in its void.