Journal of a Reluctant Hero Trainer

AN: This is something of a work in progress, so it'll be updated with new entries often.  Keep checking back!

Foreword

Forassi suggested it was a good idea to start a journal.  He thinks it might help with my reading and writing skills and also that it would be good for posterity.  Then again, Forassi also thinks that baby dragonlings fly in through his bathroom window every night and incinerate the towels.  I didn't believe that at first, but I've seen the scorch marks on the wall and now I'm beginning to wonder.

Noodles also says it would be good for me.  Whether he's saying that because he believes it or because I happened to accidentally kick his favourite squeaky ball into a ravine five years ago and this would serve as some kind of horrific – albeit severely delayed – punishment, I don't know.  You never can tell with Noodles.

No matter what he says, though, it was an accident; I was running for my life and being chased by a therozar when I inadvertently put my foot on the toy.  The squeaky ball went one way, I went the other and ended up flat on my back staring into the therozar's jaws and oddly, it didn't try to eat me.  There was, however, a fixed expression of astonishment on its face.  At any rate, it stopped chasing me and I then had to go up to the castle and inform Noodles that he'd just lost his favourite toy.  Looking back on it, I think I'd have been better off with the therozar; I was half expecting Forassi to turn me into a replacement.

I'm not sure what to write in this thing.  Forassi says that journals are useful for keeping a record of your day-to-day activities, but I'm not sure there's a great deal to write about on that score, at least, not as far as my activities here are concerned.  Who wants to read about rooming with a wizard and his familiar, even if the furniture does like to rearrange itself on an almost hourly basis?

Noodles just came in again and accused me of brutally savaging his chew toy.  That's it; I'm going back down to the Guild.  Maybe I'll be able to get some peace and quiet there, and since I'm supposed to be writing about the latest developments, I guess it makes sense.

So just what's this all about, anyway?  Well, basically, Gorost – guildmaster of the Adventurer's Guild and one of my closest friends – has decided it would be a good idea to offer training in the adventuring skills.  He's also been trying to rope me into teaching for the last two weeks, so maybe my writing this will convince him I don't have time.  I do, of course, but I can think of far more enjoyable ways to spend my time than trying to hammer the basics into a bunch of glory-blind wannabes.

Like passing a kidney stone, for example.

--Andilan

Day 1

The first of the hopefuls arrived today; Ibus, a young centaur colt of some fifteen years.

Actually, I think that arrived is too bland a word; Ibus galloped into the courtyard, skidded on the flagstones, fell and slid a full five yards on his back before coming to a halt.  I was quite impressed; at least two of those five yards were on gravel.  I did try to tell Gorost that rock garden was a bad idea.  Oh well.  You live, you learn.

As soon as our new centaur recruit got to his feet, he immediately launched into Gorost with a flood of abuse, some of which even I'd never heard before.  Just what is a Shetland shagger, anyway?

We met two others that day.  Both were human guys, fifteen and seventeen respectively, and brothers.  They were interesting enough, I guess, but after Ibus' dramatic entrance, they went pretty much unnoticed.

Day 2

Five more victims recruits showed up today.  Again, nothing really remarkable about any of them, but for the sake of the records, I guess I should add some description:

Liberius

A sixteen year old newcomer from the city-state of Rhoma.  Let joy be unconfined.  I've never yet met a Rhoman who wasn't arrogant, pompous and just too full of himself for anyone to handle.

Take this as an example; Liberius marched up to me, completely ignoring Gorost (apparently minotaurs are viewed as nothing more than animals in Rhoma) and announced, "From afar I have sojourned to these shores, through trials too numerous to mention with the intent of perfecting the art of military warfare!"

See what I mean?  Jeez, isn't there anyone from that place who actually talks like a normal person?

Xanthe

Centaur filly, fourteen years old.  The second to arrive today, Xanthe is petite (about 13.2hh) blonde (or dapple grey on the horse bits) and very headstrong and determined. 

Ibus' face lit up the instant he saw her and he started prancing around, then he put one hand on her rump and whispered – I think – "Hey baby, wanna go for a ride?" That's when Xanthe spun away from him, turned her back and kicked him squarely in the hindquarters, then chased him all over the courtyard until Gorost had to intervene.  I don't think I've laughed so hard since Noodles accidentally inhaled half a pot of Forassi's Industrial Strength Pepper and sneezed himself into the cookie jar.

Stathis

Thirteen years old – maybe we should have put some kind of minimum age restriction on this training – and a mainlander.  Stathis is one of those unfortunates who has never picked up anything heavier than a book in his life and who has a father that believes this to be somewhat namby-pamby.  He's a nice enough boy, polite and respectful, but I don't think he'll go the distance.

Tomas

Yet another glory-blind wannabe.  Tomas has heard one too many songs and epic stories; he's likely to be more of a liability than anything.  He's eighteen, blonde and wants nothing more than to be the most famous hero and adventurer in the world.  I think he was quite disappointed by the lack of battle trophies in the Guild.

Spyros

The trouble with Spyros is that he's the only one out of all the students to have actually fought something and won.  It's true that he managed to beat a sword-wielding raider, but only by surprising him from behind and pounding him vigorously on the head with a cast iron skillet.  That said, he does show the most promise out of the group; asides from Ibus, he's the only one who's had any formal weapons training. 

Takis

Actually, Takis is one of the two who arrived yesterday after Ibus.  He's from one of the fishing villages along the coast and the eldest son of the headman.  He left the village to Seek A New And Exciting Life In The Big City.  In other words, he's freely admitted that he wants to become a guardsman.  Not the most glamorous of jobs, but it is refreshing to meet someone with realistic expectations.

Myron

See Takis.  Apart from the fact that Myron's younger by two years, there really is no difference between them in terms of build (solid) hair colour (black) skin colour (olive-complexion) or eye colour (brown).  And yes, Myron wants to be a guard too.

One more day left – Gorost decided to give people three days to enrol – and then we'll have our crowd.  Personally, I don't think anyone else is going to turn up.  To summarise, we have two guard wannabes, six glory-seekers and one bookworm.

Gorost told me in private that this was not who he'd had in mind when he'd advertised the training.  I didn't answer, but it did make me wonder exactly what he'd expected.

Day 3

Okay, so I was wrong about nobody else showing up (or as Liberius put it, "You appear to have been labouring under a gross misapprehension concerning the numbers of our ranks.") Big deal.  I've been wrong before.

I will add in my defence, however, that this happened at the last minute.  Literally; it was getting on for midnight when the last recruit showed.  She said her name was Nessa and was she too late for the training?

I'm not too sure what to make of her; it's too early to know (and it was too late to quiz her).  I guess time will tell.

Day 4

Today marked the first day of weapons training.  In other words, Gorost gave everyone a sword and told them to try and hit each other with it.  Hardly the stuff great legends are made of, admittedly, but it does summarise the whole idea of swordfighting in a nutshell.  I guess we can worry about such things like parrying and the whole swing vs thrust debate when the students are ready.

Ibus and Spyros were the best of the bad lot, although Ibus did get a little carried away and accidentally kicked Spyros in the gut.  I'm not entirely sure how a centaur can hold a sword in his hand and kick someone with his back legs by accident, but Gorost believed him and so I guess that's all that matters.

And the worst?  Nessa and Stathis.  Nessa refused to pick up the sword for most of the morning, claiming she didn't want to risk hurting anyone (although based on how she handled it when she did finally agree to use it, I don't think she needs to worry about landing any blows anytime soon) and Stathis...well, he was enthusiastic enough, I guess, but he swung the sword over his head a little too vigorously and its weight caused him to overbalance and fall in the ornamental fountain.

This is going to be one hell of a long year.

Day 5

Liberius helped Xanthe set a new record today.  Honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a centaur move so fast from one end of the courtyard to the other.

It was my fault really.  Liberius was protesting that these swords were for children, that real warriors only used bows and arrows.  Kind of strange when you think about it; one thing I will say for Rhoma is that its warriors aren't afraid to fight one-on-one, face to face with absolute willingness, if not positive enthusiasm.

Anyway, I gave Liberius a crossbow and several quarrels and told him to practise with that, if he felt more confident.  Big mistake.  Liberius ignored all my advice about aim and recoil and wound the string back as far as it would go, fitted as many quarrels into it as he could and fired.  Half the quarrels went up, the other half went out and peppered Ibus' backside.  Ibus then kicked out reflexively and hit Xanthe on the hindquarters, and Xanthe promptly galloped off so fast her hooves kicked up sparks.  A couple of these quarrels did hit the target on the other side of the courtyard, but I'm pretty sure this was just coincidence.

I'd only just picked Stathis out of the thornbush he'd dived into to avoid getting hurt when Gorost walked over to me, grabbed me by one arm and pulled me into an alcove.

"Silent man come back tomorrow." 

This wasn't a question or even a request.  I ought to point out, by the way, that 'silent man' is how Gorost usually refers to me, since I can't speak.

It's true; when I was sixteen some rich woman accused me of making improper suggestions and a wizard put a curse on me, making me mute.  He died a few months later, but for some reason the curse remained.  According to Forassi, it's something to do with continuous spells versus finite ones.  Don't ask me, I'm not a wizard.

I get along well enough though.  Forassi taught me how to use Mentan to communicate with people (that's telepathy to all you non-magic users out there).  It's lucky I have my own – rather limited – supply of magic, else I'd never have been able to learn it.

As for coming back tomorrow...well, we'll see.

Day 6

Gorost decided to go back a step with the training.  Now the students just wave their swords around at the air instead of each other.  Gorost told me that he thought they weren't quite ready for full combat practice yet.

There's a revelation.  Next he'll come to realise that the sunken island of Kephiros wasn't quite ready for that volcanic eruption.

Day 7

I missed the lessons today; I had to go to the weaponsmith Phebus for a new sword.

Well...actually, no I didn't.  But if I had to listen to Ibus begin one more sentence with the phrase, "This is beneath me..." I think I'd have thrown him into the nearest bog.

Phebus was his normal charming self, though.  I asked him if he had any new blades and he snapped, "What does it look like?  You think I got nothing better to do than serve you?  Why don't you get back to your Guild and get on with your teaching?"

You know, what I love about centaurs is their sense of finesse and delicacy...

Day 8

I picked up a lamb and minted cucumber wrap for breakfast this morning.  If I had to choke down one more mouthful of the crap that Gorost's been feeding the students, I'd do something to him with my sword that isn't covered in any of the lessons.  Cookery is not high on a minotaur's list of skills, and the thought of eating cold runny scrambled eggs doesn't appeal to me.

Bad news; we're bringing back student vs student matches.  Gorost thinks it'll be better to keep it to one match per day, then the others can comment on the pair's techniques.  I'm not sure how he's planning to pair off nine students effectively, but I suppose he must have some idea.

Day 9

Today marked the first match; Ibus vs Xanthe.  At first I thought Ibus was going to win – arrogance notwithstanding, he does have a natural talent for swordfighting – but then he made the mistake of gloating over Xanthe, who promptly threw her sword away, reared up bringing both forehooves down on Ibus' back and then drove him into the fountain.  I think that filly has some serious issues somewhere.

Day 10

Myron vs Takis.  Actually a good fight; those two are pretty well matched in terms of ability.  Takis won, but it was close.

I noticed Tomas taking bets from Ibus and Liberius.  If he's opening up a betting shop on his fellow students, I'll have to take him to one side for a quiet word.  I have ten dracs that say Spyros will wipe the floor with Liberius.

Day 11

Stathis won his match, but only because Nessa was too frightened to pick up the sword.  I despair of those two.

Day 12

Liberius and Spyros.  Easily the best match.  Right at the beginning, Liberius saluted Spyros and announced, "I am Liberius, champion of Rhoma.  Submit to me now or be destroyed."

Spyros didn't bother answering.  That guy does have some brains to go with his arrogance; wasting breath on idle threats towards enemies doesn't serve any purpose.  At least, I've always managed well enough without it.

It was a close fight, though.  Liberius is easily the strongest – at least, the strongest human – in the group, but Spyros has a kind of wiry toughness.  I guess that comes from growing up in a fishing village.

Spyros won.  That means Tomas now owes me fifteen dracs.  It also means that Tomas has nobody to fight tomorrow.

Day 13

Myron offered to let Tomas fight him.  Pretty generous considering he's already lost once, but Tomas didn't see it like that.  I think his answer was something like...let me see now...

Oh, that's right: "I came here to fight men, not little boys."  We managed to drag Myron off him eventually, but it was a close thing.  Tomas' lip was bleeding and his nose had been pretty well flattened; maybe next time he'll think twice about insulting a fellow student.  I doubt it, but maybe.

Day 14

Gorost suggested I take tomorrow out to test the students for magical ability.  I told him I didn't need a full day to test nine people – five minutes ought to be enough – but he said that I should take my time.  Personally I think he's using it as an excuse to get a quick break.

Day 15

Half the students didn't show up today.  I think Gorost's use of the word test was what did it.  The ones that did – Takis, Myron, Ibus, Spyros and Liberius – don't have a single spark of magic between them.  I'll have to grab the other four tomorrow.

Day 16

Wow.  I mean, really, wow.  Just...wow.

That Stathis has some serious magical ability.  I guess I should have seen it coming; the books, the love of quiet, intellectual pursuits etc.  But hey, plenty of people are like that and couldn't cast a spell to save their lives.

The spell's simple enough; you cast it and anything magic glows white.  The brighter the glow, the more powerful it is.  I cast it on Stathis and I was still seeing spots in front of my eyes ten minutes later.  He's one of the few who could make it as a real wizard, given the right training.

Other than that, none of the others have power.  Xanthe...well, centaurs tend not to have magic anyway, and her and Ibus are no exception.  Tomas just wants to learn weapons and doesn't care if he has magic or not and as for Nessa...

I'm not sure about her.  She may be like me; possessed of enough magical ability to master basic spells, but anything more serious would be beyond her.  I got a definite glimmer of something while I was testing her.  I'll have to play this one very carefully; I know nothing about training magic and I'm damn sure Gorost doesn't!

Day 17

Talk about a revelation.  They're coming thick and fast lately; first Stathis with his magic and now this.

Gorost and I had dismissed the students for the day when Nessa came up to us.  She had a slightly nervous look about her, like a dog that's just been kicked.  Then again, Nessa does tend to look that way regardless.

"Nessa want something?" Gorost asked.  I didn't say anything (obviously) but I did give her what I thought was an encouraging look.  Whether it worked or not, I'll probably never know since Nessa has a tendency to flinch whenever anyone looks at her at all, regardless of their intent.

"I was just wondering..." she began.

Yes? I prompted.  Nessa glanced at me quickly – I rarely communicated with the students – then plunged on.

"Is there anywhere in the Guild I can stay?"  Seeing our joint expressions of surprise, she rushed ahead.  "I mean, like a bed or a dorm or...or a bag of straw or something, I just—"

I raised my hand, cutting her off.

Slow down, I instructed, and start from the beginning.  You want to sleep here?  In the Guild?

Nessa nodded once and I looked at Gorost helplessly.  I don't know how the Guild is organised; I know Gorost sleeps here, but me?  I squat with Forassi until I get fed up with my bed wandering around while I'm asleep and go down to the Hysterical Pixie inn.  I'm on good terms with the landlady and she lets me stay there for free.

"No room in Guild," Gorost answered.  There probably wasn't much room at the inn either, now that I thought about it.  Apparently some people come to Kythros for the warmer climate.  Given the six foot snowdrifts we tend to get in winter, it makes me wonder exactly what their idea of cold is, but they do account for most of our tourism at this time of year.

Nessa backed away, clearly wishing she'd never spoken.  "It's alright.  I didn't mean to be a nuisance.  I'm sorry."

I started to offer her my room at the Hysterical Pixie for a while – I'll just have to put up with the wandering furniture at Forassi's – but Nessa just turned and scurried off before I got the chance.

What is with that girl?

Day 18

All thoughts of Nessa went completely out of my head today, largely because this was the first chance I've had to talk to Stathis since he tested positive for magic.  I think he did his best to avoid me yesterday, probably because he was frightened of hearing that magic was another thing he couldn't do.

Anyway, I suggested that I take him to see Forassi at some point and the kid lit up like someone had just shone a torch in his ear.

"A Wizard?  A real Wizard?"

Yes, a real Wizard.  I supposed I couldn't be too irritated by Stathis' obvious pleasure; Wizard isn't a title that many people earn – most magic users never advance past the level of Mage – and the thought of meeting one...

I guess I'm just a little too used to Forassi as the kind old guy who gave me a place to stay when I needed it most.  The idea of Forassi as an all-powerful Wizard isn't one I consider very often.

Day 19

Nessa showed up early this morning looking cold, wet and thoroughly miserable and promptly made a beeline for the fire.  She didn't say a word to either Gorost or me in all that time, and something about her didn't encourage either of us to ask questions.

I did put it to Gorost later, though, asking what he made of Nessa.  Gorost rubbed his head a few times, then eventually said, "Nessa frightened.  Not want get kicked off course."

I should probably mention that Gorost really isn't as slow and stupid as one might think from his speech; he just prefers to keep it simple because of the effort required to force human words from a bovine mouth.  He does have an uncanny ability to see right to the heart of a matter and so I asked him what he thought I should do.

More scratching, followed by, "Not know.  See Sanna.  Sanna help."

I was really hoping he wouldn't say that.

Day 20

Finally!  Ibus is the first student to learn how to block a sword thrust!  And it's only taken, what?  Two weeks of training?

The down side is that he's now even more irritating than usual.  I came upon him offering to give extra lessons to Xanthe in fighting and attempting to take over the lesson from Gorost.  How that minotaur puts up with it, I do not know.

Day 21

For the sake of curiosity, I asked Gorost why he let Ibus stay with his attitude.  Gorost scratched his head for a few minutes, then announced, "Horse boy son of weaponsmith.  Weaponsmith give good weapons.  Cost price."

This explains a great deal.

Day 22

I took Stathis to see Forassi today.  I think the kid was a little taken aback by what he saw.  I guess I can't blame him; I kept telling Forassi that it's polite to put on pants when one is entertaining company, but the old guy keeps forgetting.  Sometimes I think he does it just to bug me.

Anyway, Forassi seemed pleased enough to meet Stathis.  I just hope that things pan out as I want them to; namely that Forassi will agree to teach Stathis a little magic.

Stathis didn't freak out when Noodles performed that Growth spell on himself though, so that's something.  Admittedly in Noodles' case the spell only grew him up to the size of a wolf, but even so...

Day 23

Yes, yes, YES!

The Fermented Olive has just got in a new shipment of retsina (aka pine wine) from the mainland!  Not that they were in any danger of running out – even with the amount I indulge in it – but it's still good to know the supply's strong.

I may just swing by there tonight to test this new cask, make sure it's up to standard.  After all, The Fermented Olive can't get anywhere by serving inferior wine; I owe it to them to have just a little taste.

Day 24

I missed the teaching today due to my extreme hangover.  Worse, I'm also missing the fifty seven dracs I had.  Someone is going to have some serious explaining to do...

...just as soon as the damn room stops spinning.

Day 25

I managed to get Gorost to one side early this morning and told him that I was taking his advice and going to see Sanna.  Part of this was my own desire not to have to deal with students so soon after recovering from a pine wine hangover, but most of it was seeing someone curled up under a market stall that had closed down for the night.  I think it was Nessa.  I'm not sure, and I'm really not sure what Sanna can do about it, but for all that Gorost's never steered me wrong before.

I'll be honest and say I'm not looking forward to this meeting.  I've only seen her once since I managed to bring her safely out of the Underworld to help Kythros during the demon invasions, and it brought back so many bad memories that I've stayed away ever since.  There is a reason that the Underworld is also known as hell; I still have nightmares almost two years on.

With that in mind, it's not surprising that it took twice as long as usual for me to reach Sanna's home; for every two steps forward, I took another one back.  I was almost relieved when I noticed a pair of brigands nearby, and disappointed when they seemed too wary of me to attack.

It was late at night when I finally reached the clearing where Sanna lives.  I wasn't sure if she was asleep or not; either way, I wasn't in any hurry to talk to her.

Day 26

I was woken up this morning by a pair of wolves trying to get into my pack.  They seemed pretty determined, so I managed to wriggle out of the way and let them take the dried fish inside.  I'll just have to go hungry.

There was no sign of Sanna.  I'm not sure if this is good or bad.

Day 27

Sanna was hovering nearby when I woke up this morning.  It was slightly comforting to notice that she seemed as awkward around me as I did around her.

It's strange to see a human with wings.  Sanna herself is petite – she's only about four foot ten and finely built with it – but she's still clearly a full human.  Those wings can only carry her some two feet off the ground, but they're enough for what Sanna needs (namely ensuring that she doesn't step on any bugs.  You know, you can take respect for life a little too far).

"Andilan!" Even Sanna's voice sent a chill down my spine.  Objectively speaking it's nice enough, soft and gentle, but the last time I heard it was too soon after the Underworld.  "What brings you here?"

I struggled to my feet, tripped over a mountain lion, trod on a wolf's tail and stumbled almost into Sanna's arms.  So much for the dignified approach.  Sometimes I sure wish that woman's home didn't act as a beacon for every animal going, nice as it is.

I told her about Nessa and how she was acting.  I wondered if that girl might have been a shipwreck victim; we do get rather a lot of those at this time of year.

Sanna said she hadn't seen or heard of her, and since most victims tend to find their way to her place, it's probably safe to assume that Nessa wasn't one of them.

Then who the hell is she?

Day 28

Back to the Guild.  Lovely as Sanna's place is, I wasn't sorry to leave it...although five minutes at home trying to sort out Ibus vs Xanthe round 281 soon made me wish I was back there.  Why can't those two just get along?

Day 29

The Arena contests start in three days.  Time to get my money out the bank and start investing.  I'll enter, of course, but given the practice I've been getting lately, I'm not sure I'll get anywhere.

Day 30

Spyros came up to me and asked if he could enter the contests.  I said yes, so long as he didn't mind being completely trampled; he's not ready for this yet.  Needless to say, Spyros ignored this and went ahead to sign up anyway.

Day 31

There's only one topic of conversation at the moment, both in and out of the Guild, and that's the contests.  I guess it's understandable; there's not much else in the way of widespread entertainment here, and the contests only come round once a year.  It makes it harder to teach though, not least because me and Gorost are too busy arguing over who's going to be Grand Champion.  It's been me for the past two years, but things change.

Day 32

First day of the contests.  I decided to take the students along to give them some idea of how real combat is played out.

Ibus didn't seem too impressed.  I heard him complaining that he could do a better job than the so-called champion.  I didn't correct him, partly because I was too caught up in the fight but mostly because I think he was right.  If this is the standard of combat, I think my title of Grand Champion is safe.

On the plus side, I did win twelve hundred dracs tonight.

Day 33

I swung by the Fermented Olive tavern before going onto the arena to enter into the contests myself.  I notice Gorost has already signed up to fight tomorrow.  Should be an interesting match.

Liberius and Spyros have also signed up.  I swear those two are joined at the hip.  Oh well.  Time to find out if the teaching's paid off.

Day 34

Classes have pretty much gone by the board for the minute.  I think the students are glad of a break – I know I sure am – and besides, all anyone can think about are the contests.  It's like a mania.

The champion got flattened by Gorost in about two blows.  That minotaur has no sense of how to draw the crowd in; when I first started competing, I used to drag my fights out as long as possible.  Still, Gorost's win got me two thousand dracs, so I shouldn't complain too loudly.

Day 35

Liberius pretty much annihilated the champion tonight.  Who picks these champions, anyway?  Although I was pleased to see how much he's learned, this means he's going to be even more pompous when classes start again.

Is it immoral to bet on one's own students?  Possibly, but I did make three hundred dracs profit, so who cares?

Day 36

I lost a bet!  I can't believe the champion won this fight!  Okay, he only won because his opponent tripped on the way down and had to retire with a fractured ankle, but even so...! 

Day 37

Spyros fought tonight.  It was almost an even match, but he got it in the end.  Hopefully the fact he had to struggle to win might teach him a little humility.

Day 38

I am a crowd-pleaser, if I do say so myself.  There is a distinct art in drawing out the fight and making it seem completely natural; my fending off the champion with nothing but my trusty shield went down a treat.  It was hailed as the 'most daring defence technique ever seen' and I became 'the boldest contestant seen in this Arena for a long time'. 

Actually, my bloody sword had got stuck and I couldn't get the thing out of its sheath.  I really need to buy a new one.

Day 39

Isane is this week's champion?  Wow.  I haven't seen her since she became queen; she's been too busy to have fun like she used to.  A shame really; we had some good times together.  Still, I'm investing the maximum amount possible on her for all her matches, bar the final one...especially since she's fighting Liberius tomorrow.

Day 40

Ye gods, Stathis has entered the contests!

Day 41

Isane beat Gorost, but it was close.  Either he's gotten a lot better or she's gotten a lot worse since last year, possibly both. 

Day 42

Isane beat Spyros in a couple of blows.  At least he had the grace to lose well, unlike Liberius who shouted that Isane had worked some kind of evil female ritual before entering to ensure victory, to which Isane coolly replied, "This is true; I call it practice."  Nice to see that going royal hasn't dulled her rapier wit.

Day 43

Stathis is sulking; he keeps saying that one of us should have told him that the Arena is magic-proof before he went in there.  I did try to cheer him up by telling him that there was no way he could have beaten Isane even if he could have used his magic, but it didn't seem to work.

Day 44

I went up against Isane tonight.  Not a bad match, all things considered; at the very least I managed to draw it out for forty minutes.

Isane's lost her edge though.  Too much ruling, not enough practice.  I tried to mention this to her but she just glared at me and stalked off.  That woman is not a good loser.

Day 45

Grand summary – not counting prize money – I invested twenty eight thousand dracs this season and I got back sixty thousand nine hundred.  Even for me, that's good going.  Add the nine thousand dracs prize money and I now have close on seventy thousand.  At least now I won't have to take on extra work to earn enough to live on.

Although this does now raise the question of what I'm going to do with my evenings until the next contests...

Day 46

I left the town this morning and went for a walk.  I told Gorost it was because I had a headache (which isn't a complete lie; I did go a little overboard with the retsina last night) but the truth is that I didn't trust myself not to slam dunk half the students off the nearest cliff.  No wonder teachers are revered in other parts of the world; anyone who can teach day in day out AND keep their sanity deserves respect.

Day 47

My biggest mistake was getting caught out in the middle of that damn snowstorm this morning.

My second biggest was burning my flask of retsina in order to keep warm.  I managed to hack down some branches to build a fire, but I still needed the wine to set it alight.

On the plus side, borderline hypothermia is better than dealing with complaining students.

Day 48

The snowstorm came to an end this morning.  I suppose that means it's time for me to make my way back.

Day 49

I got back to the Guild today.  To my surprise, Spyros seems to have mellowed slightly; he's lost that conceited edge he had before the contests and even came up to me to ask how to hold his sword better.

I only wish Gorost had been as pleased to see me.  He stamped up to me and bellowed, "Silent man gone three days!"

I don't know why he was so upset; it was only a little detour on my part.  Just a small, everyday, run-of-the-mill thirty mile detour.  You'd think demons had opened up a portal to hell and were trying to suck the island into it.  Again.

Day 50

Stathis wants to leave.  Not entirely; he just wants to concentrate wholly on his magic.  I told him it was better to master both weapons AND magic, but he won't listen.  That kid is too hung up on impressing his father.

Day 51

Stathis hit Ibus with a magic spell today.  It was kind of an accident; Ibus kept taunting him, saying that magic was no good against a real warrior and Stathis just lost it.  Personally I don't think it was his fault.  Ibus should have known better than to dodge in that direction and anyway, he wasn't badly hurt; Stathis only blasted him with a small lightning bolt. Though it probably wasn't a good idea for Stathis to be holding Ibus' wrist while he did that...

Day 52

Stathis is now officially Forassi's apprentice.  I'm glad; if I had to dodge one more badly aimed or misfired spell before lunch, I think I'd have done a little magic of my own.

I can't believe I haven't even been doing this two months yet.  It's going to be one hell of a long year...

Day 53

It rained all day today, so we stayed inside for a lesson on some of the creatures that these people will probably end up having to kill at some point.  Nessa excluded, of course; she squeaked when Gorost used the K-word and gave us both shocked looks for the whole of the lecture.  Honestly, you'd think she'd caught us impaling puppies upside-down!

Though I have to admit, in Noodles' case that idea does hold a certain appeal...

Day 54

More rain.  More lessons.  Ibus put Gorost on the spot today by asking him what a tremman was.  Gorost um-ed and ah-ed for a few minutes before trying to fob the centaur off by telling him that, "Tremman rare.  Very rare."

Naturally, Ibus being Ibus came straight back with, "So rare you've no idea?"

I folded my arms and stared hard at him, even though I thought he was probably right.  I mean, I've never heard of a tremman, and there aren't many creatures I haven't run into at one time or another.

Day 55

And...yep, still raining.  This time I snuck out of the Guild and up towards Krematos Hill before Gorost could stop me.  I'd rather get wet than listen to another of that minotaur's lectures about therozars.

I had to keep my head down a little as I climbed Krematos Hill.  It's been a few months since the incident, and the house is fully repaired and rebuilt now, but I'm not exactly welcomed with open arms around there.

It was as I approached the marble pavilion at the top that I had the thought of going to squat with Forassi for a couple of days and decided to act upon it.  At the very least, it would probably be drier in there.

Reaching in, I pulled out half a coin.  This is something Forassi set up; to save me having to go the long way around, he put some kind of spell on this coin and split it in half.  It acts kind of like an elastic band; I hold it up, reflect the sunlight off it and get teleported right to Forassi's front door.  I wonder if Stathis has one?

Forassi, Stathis and Noodles were out, so I made myself a mug of soup and settled down with a book on a passing couch to wait for them to come back.

Day 56

I woke up in Forassi's guest bedroom early this morning.  The couch was lying down and snoring gently, so I let it sleep and went downstairs to see about breakfast.

I've never quite worked out what it is with Forassi's furniture.  Does he enchant them to have lives (and minds) of their own when he buys them, do they come ready-enchanted or do they just get so infused with magic in this place that they can't help coming to life and wandering around?

Whichever it is, they don't seem to mind acting as furniture...so long as you don't mind your bed exploring the house and surrounding area while you're sleeping on it.  Odd that it's only things like chairs and beds that actually move though.  Maybe Forassi is behind it after all.

I managed to get some toast (charred on the outside, soft on the inside; nice to see the toaster hasn't forgotten me) and settled down to eat it on a stool that took me into Forassi's study, up the stairs - we really need to get some kind of safety harness installed on these things - and finally came to a stop next to an ottoman in the bathroom.

Actually, this wasn't too bad.  At least I got to wash up after eating.

Day 57

Noodles got back today.  He trotted in, took one look at me sitting in a floating armchair and promptly yelped at the top of his lungs and bolted from the room.  I suspect he's gone to hide his squeaky toys from me again.

I did manage to track him down eventually; he was hiding in a basket of laundry and glared at me as I opened the lid.

"Hands off the squeaky newspaper, buster!"

Where are Forassi and Stathis? I asked him. 

Noodles wriggled about a bit, growled at me and finally said, "How should I know?  I left 'em in Pinecrest looking for therozars!"

Again with the therozars.  Why does everyone fixate on those creatures?  I mean, they're not particularly smart, they're not magical...in fact, they're not especially dangerous either, not if you know what you're doing.

When are they back? I asked.

"Tomorrow.  Now get lost!  I don't trust you!  You got shifty little eyes!"

I sighed.  How the hell Forassi wound up with a familiar like Noodles is beyond me.  I guess some cosmic force must be getting a big laugh out of it though.

Day 58

I woke up very early today.  'Early' being ten past two in the damn morning; my bed had wandered onto the roof for some obscure reason.  Who knows what a bed thinks or enjoys?

On the plus side, Forassi was back.  I don't think that guy ever sleeps; every single time when I've come here, he's been awake and waiting for me.  I guess that's what comes of being a Wizard.

"Andilan!" Forassi actually clapped his hands in delight, or maybe he was doing some kind of spell.  Or both.  I'm never quite sure with him.  "You're up late, aren't you?"

My bed went for a midnight stroll, I informed him as acidly as I could.

"The one with the purple flowered bedspread?" When I nodded, Forassi clapped a hand to his head.  "Oh, I'm sorry.  Yes, that one does like to do a bit of stargazing from time to time.  I find it best not to use it and just let it wander around; it's quite harmless."

I kept quiet on that score, although I'm not sure a walking bed could be considered 'harmless'.  Suppose it fell off a cliff?

I guess something of my reserve must have shown on my face, because Forassi smiled and told me not to worry.  All the same, I think I'll go back to sleeping on the couch...

Day 59

I saw Stathis this morning at breakfast.  He looked a little shaken and there were claw marks on his face.

So you found your therozar, then? I said pleasantly as I picked up a piece of bread and started to butter it.

Stathis shivered.  "I didn't know they were going to be so big."

Personally I wouldn't have called a five and a half foot bipedal lizard 'big' but I guess when you're five foot nothing like Stathis, anything seems big.

"I'm surprised to see you so soon, Andilan," Forassi remarked pleasantly.  "I would have thought you'd keep well away from Krematos Hill for at least another year or two."

"What?" Stathis glanced from Forassi to me, curiosity obviously battling shyness.  "What happened on Krematos Hill?"

"Oh, nothing," Forassi answered, although he was wearing his smug look.  I see that look quite often; the guy loves nothing more than a big juicy mystery.  Must be a Wizard thing.  "Except...well, Andilan here has a certain amount of magical talent, don't you, Andilan?"

I shrugged.  Sure I have magic, but compared to the likes of Forassi - yes, and even Stathis - I'm like a candle next to the sun.

"Well, when he first landed on Kythros and met up with me again, I suggested he find somewhere to practise the spells he knows."

I folded my arms.  Look, it's not my fault that the people who owned that house couldn't be bothered to fireproof it!

"Oh, of course not," Forassi agreed, a little too courteously.  "I mean, when it comes to magic, everyone has to start somewhere."

"Yeah!" Noodles trotted in, each of his squeaky toys orbiting around him like a collection of tacky moons.  "Andy here started out picking flowers!"

Spell components, fleabait.  I started out gathering spell components for the healer's stall in Pinecrest market.

"Ah, same diff."  Noodles sat down and scratched behind his ear vigorously.  "Healers use flowers for everythin', don't they, an' Andy here were only too happy to trot off and fetch 'em.  Pansy."

I didn't bother answering this.  Actually, the healer who ran that stall had turned out to be a fire demon in disguise, but I hadn't realised that until she burst into flames and tried to eat me.  Forassi was no help either when I told him about it; he just burst out laughing and said that it gave a whole new meaning to the phrase 'firing the errand boy'.

Well, Stathis seems okay, therozar scratches notwithstanding.  Guess I'd better get going.

Day 60

I took Stathis back with me, at Forassi's insistence; he says that the more subjects Stathis knows, the better Wizard he'll turn out to be.  I don't think Stathis believes this - and despite what I said to him earlier I'm not sure I do either, come to that - but it's not a good idea to argue with a man who can turn you into a fruit bat and make you tapdance over barbed wire.

Day 61

"WHERE SILENT MAN BEEN?"  This was the 'hello' I got from Gorost upon returning to the Guild.  In fact, writing it in capitals doesn't do justice to the sheer volume of that bellow; I'm sure I saw a few spiders fall out of the rafters.

I explained as best I could, saying I'd wanted to stay in Forassi's house to make sure Stathis got back okay.

Well, it wasn't a complete lie.  Trouble is, Gorost knows me too well; he gave me a long look and snorted loudly, then went back to showing the students how to hold a mace.  Only Spyros and Tomas managed this on the first attempt.  Myron and Takis tend to handle every weapon in the same way as you would a sword or spear and that just doesn't work for maces.  I mean, they're good weapons (although I've never got on with them) but they're not exactly designed for stabbing people, are they?

Day 62

I'm still shaking.  Today was terrible; I'm not sure I'm even alive.  Let me see if I can get it in some kind of order...

Mace lessons continued.  Spyros and Tomas paired up with each other and Spyros whumped the crap out of Tomas in about thirty seconds.  That bit was alright.

Liberius deigned to use the mace, despite the fact that (as he put it) "such an uncouth weapon is little more than a metal cudgel and only fit for barbarians and savages."  Fair enough.  We'll see how he copes when he gets attacked by metal cudgel wielding people in the forest.  Although actually, Liberius' defensive skills are surprisingly good.

Myron keeps trying to stab people with the spikes on the mace.  I keep telling him that's not what they're there for (at least, not in that sense) but he won't listen.  Takis has got the general idea though; he hit Gorost's shield harder than any of the others, only he wasn't ready for the loud BONG this produced and dropped the mace in surprise.

Stathis got on better than me or Gorost expected.  I guess Ibus hasn't forgotten that lightning spell.  At any rate, he didn't taunt Stathis when the kid struggled to lift the mace, nor when he raised it over his head and the end fell off.  I have to wonder how much of an accident that really was.  Is the kid already good enough to do a spell like that?

Nessa...well, I leave it to your imagination what Nessa was like.  Even so, whatever you imagine probably won't be as bad as the reality; she took one look at the mace and shook her head.

"I can't!  I might hurt somebody!"

That's the general idea, I informed her tartly.  I couldn't help it; I'm getting more than a little sick of that girl.  If she doesn't like the idea of hitting bad guys with big metal weapons, why the hell is she still here?  I mean, okay, there's no shame in being squeamish, but why choose to torment yourself like that?

"No.  I can't.  I really can't!"

Gorost and I exchanged looks.  I shrugged, meaning 'whatever'.

"Nessa need weapon," Gorost announced.

"I don't want to fight."

Then you came to the wrong place, kid, I remarked.  Still, if you don't like it, feel free to leave.

Nessa bit her lip.  "No, I can't.  I need the - I'll do it."

Need the what? I asked Gorost privately.  He shrugged.

Nessa picked up the mace on the second attempt, managed to swing it around her head on the fourth attempt and that's when things went wrong.

Now, I'm not averse to the whole twirl-around-head-and-bang-down-hard school of fighting.  In fact, when you're fighting with a blunt weapon like a mace, it can be pretty devastating.

But - and this is very important - but you do have to remember to keep a firm hold on the weapon handle while doing said twirling.

Whether she wasn't holding it tightly enough or whether her hands were sweating too much, the mace slithered out of Nessa's grasp to fly towards Spyros' head.  Xanthe, who was the closest, promptly turned her back and kicked hard, knocking him out of the way.  It sort of worked.  Spyros literally flew through the air and ploughed straight through two wooden beams, reducing them to splinters.

To be more specific, he ploughed straight through two wooden beams that supported the rear part of the building and reduced them to splinters.  Meanwhile, the mace hit Xanthe in the back leg, knocking her off balance and sending her crashing down on top of Liberius.

And then, as if having three students injured wasn't bad enough, the building started to collapse.  I didn't have time to think; I just raced forward, grabbed Spyros' now unconscious body and dragged it out the front door.  I don't know what happened with the others; I turned my back on the Guild and started carrying Spyros as fast as I could towards the Healer.  He still hasn't come to.

Day 63

Spyros woke up late this afternoon, thank the gods.  I didn't want to lose the only student who's showed real promise.  According to the Healer Natasa, he's got several shattered ribs, but he'll survive.  I left him reading the paper in a pretty bad mood; he wanted to get back to class immediately.  There may come a time when he has to fight on with broken bones, but not in training.

Day 64

Nessa's depressed.  Yes, even more than usual.  According to Takis, she thinks it's her fault that Spyros got injured.  No arguments here, although I didn't say as much to anyone, even Gorost.

Mace training continued, although it was a fairly subdued group.  I was surprised; I didn't think Spyros was all that popular.  Gorost said that in his opinion, it was because they'd finally realised that this could be for real, that you can get hurt doing this.

Of course, Gorost being Gorost didn't say this in so many words (he used about seven, all told) but the meaning was plain enough.

Day 65

Spyros rejoined the group today.  Apparently he was popping healing pills like sweets all yesterday, the end result being that he's now in better shape than any of us.

As I was working with Myron, I missed the start of Ibus' conversation with Spyros, but I got the end part just fine; Ibus leered at Nessa and said, "Maybe you should knock a few more of us out.  Looks like it did Spyros more good than harm."

Nessa didn't stand up for herself (when does she ever?) but instead went very white and ran out of the courtyard.  I was going to go after her but Xanthe - possibly by accident - slipped on the cobbles as she was cantering up to the target and crashed straight into Ibus.  By the time Gorost and I had dragged them off each other (not easy; centaurs are STRONG!) Nessa had vanished.

Day 66

No sign of Nessa.  She didn't come to class, she wasn't curled up under any of the wagons...in fact, she wasn't anywhere in town.  I hope this means we've seen the last of her; she was a nice girl but just not cut out for this kind of thing.

Day 67

Still no sign of Nessa.  I'm starting to worry now; I hope she hasn't done anything stupid.  I asked the other students to keep an eye out for her, although only Spyros and Stathis agreed.  I managed to persuade Myron and Takis by telling them that they'd probably have to do a lot of this kind of thing when they became guards, but the others didn't want to know.

Day 68

I took today off to search for Nessa, much to Gorost's irritation.  He doesn't have anything against Nessa, and I'm sure he doesn't want anything to happen to her, but he wasn't too keen on the idea of being left to hold down the fort alone either.

One thing was clear; she wasn't in the town.  I knocked on every door, quizzed every guardsman and storekeeper and spent a long time in the tavern talking to the barmaids, other patrons and, as the evening went on, my own reflection and a pillar respectively.  There really ought to be a law against serving those kind of drinks!

Day 69

I went round the fishing villages today.  None of them had seen Nessa, although the last one I went to happened to be Spyros' home and his mother was happy to offer me a bed for the night.  Turns out Spyros was the only child she had that survived a) several raids and b) various diseases caused by eating rancid fish.  Someone really needs to get things sorted out here.

Oh, not me.  Just someone.

Day 70

I ran out of villages to search so I decided to double-check the guard posts just in case Nessa had managed to find her way there.  By this time I wasn't expecting to find her, but I couldn't very well go back without any news.  The trouble about being a hero is that you acquire a reputation for Getting Things Done, and so people tend to expect you to live up to that.

None of the guards had seen hide nor hair of her.  It's not looking good...but come on, even if a predator caught her, there would have been something that they couldn't eat.  It's like she just vanished into thin air.

Sadly, I've run out of time to look for her.  I have to get back tomorrow or Gorost will use me as target practice.

I'm starting to think that might not be so bad.