sorry i'm not

trapped in anger, ruled by fear,
silenced by what is no longer here,
i fall to it's malice. the grip of this "life"
has bound me within it's torturous vice.
no one can save me. i am alone;
just me and my flaws. all perfection is gone.
you act like you see me, pretend that you care.
but each time i've needed you, you were not there.
your love has been absent for too many years
for you to make up for too many tears.
my heart's become frail. it cracks with each word
that falls from your lips, so cold and disturbed.
with passion for torment and love for this hate,
in you i relive every single mistake
i've made in the past by the look in your eyes,
for in them i see everything i despise.
i'm sorry i'm not everything you expected.
i'm sorry it's me that you've cruely rejected.
i can't change myself just for love from another.
i thought i was enough...GOOD enough...for my mother...
......i was wrong......